Cozy Cottage and Wide-Open Spaces
by AndAllThatMishigas
Summary: AU post The Outcast Dead. Nelson's life is turned upside down, and as he tries to find his footing through being a better father to Kate, Ruth's life is dragged into disarray.
1. Chapter 1

**Cozy Cottage and Wide-Open Spaces**

_Chapter One_

DCI Harry Nelson gets home from work on an altogether usual Tuesday evening. Michelle's car is in the drive. He smiles to himself, always pleased to come home to his wife cooking dinner. Maybe there would be Shepherd's Pie tonight. He's in the mood for it. His mother used to make a bang-up Shepherd's Pie. Michelle has been doing a wonderful job of keeping her memory alive since they attended the funeral in Blackpool three months earlier. Maureen Nelson had always said that Michelle was the perfect wife. She'd always been right about that.

But there was no pie waiting for Nelson. No supper at all. Only Michelle. Standing in the middle of the entryway with a suitcase packed and sitting by the door. Michelle has her coat on already. It isn't really cold in early August but the evenings can get a bit windy.

"Oh. You're here. I was going to leave you a note," Michelle says calmly.

"A note about what? Where are you going?" Nelson asks.

"I'll stay with my mother for a little while. Then I'll decide. I don't think I can stay here. You can keep the house if you want."

Her tone of cool detachment throws him. "Michelle, what's going on?"

"We're through, Harry. We've been through for a long time. And now with the girls in school and your mother gone, I just..." She trails off, sighing in defeat as her shoulders slump. "We deserve better, you and me. I'm never going to be enough for you, and honestly, you're never going to be enough for me. I'm not exactly young but I'm not over it all. I can..." Michelle squares her body and declares, "I can do better than a husband who barely pays me any mind and is in love with another woman. I deserve more than that. And so I'm leaving. And when I get home to Blackpool, I'll start divorce proceedings."

Nelson is completely taken aback. "What are you talking about? You're leaving? Divorce?!"

"Yes. I've thought about it a lot. And now's the right time for it."

"Are you sure?"

"Yes. And I'll call the girls and tell them and it can all be civilized and simple and we can just get on with it, alright?"

Nelson doesn't know what to say to that. He's still got his coat on, still has his keys in his hand from unlocking the front door. But Michelle pays his shock no mind. She just picks up her suitcase and gets up on her tiptoes and kisses his cheek and whispers goodbye. He hears her close and lock the door behind her. It isn't till he hears the engine of her car fade away that he even blinks.

He isn't sad. He isn't angry. He might be at some point, but he isn't right now. And without another thought, he goes back out and gets back into his car and drives.

Ruth Galloway is just cleaning up dinner for herself and her young daughter, Kate, when the security light on the porch flares to life and there's a mighty knock at the door. Ruth checks her mobile, sees that there's no messages, and heads to the door with slight confusion written in her features.

Her confusion deepens further when she sees who is on her doorstep. "Nelson," she greets in surprise.

From the kitchen, Kate hears the greeting and rushes in. "Daddy!" she shrieks with joy, running full speed into his arms.

Nelson's face breaks into a happy smile as he picks her up and gives her cheek a big kiss. "Hallo, Katie."

"Kate," Ruth corrects, out of habit more than anything else.

Both Kate and Nelson ignore her. "Daddy, what are you doing here?"

"Well, your mum gets all the fun at bedtime, and I thought I'd come over and read you a story till you fall asleep, how about that?"

Kate is beaming with joy and she hugs her arms around his neck.

Ruth catches his eye and glares in question.

"Later, please," he mouths at her.

Seeing she's got no real choice in the matter, Ruth rolls her eyes and gestures for him to come in.

Kate is perfectly happy taking her father through her entire bedtime routine. Ruth hovers uselessly, not knowing what to do if she isn't dragging her daughter through their nightly rituals. It's strange having Nelson there. Strange but sort of nice. But more than anything, Ruth feels the anxiety build within her as she continues to wonder why Nelson is in her house and doting on their daughter at bedtime instead of working late at the police station or else happily at home with his gorgeous wife.

At last, Nelson has read two chapters of Kate's book and her eyes have fluttered closed and he's kissed her forehead and wished her goodnight. He turns out the light and leaves her bedroom and closes the door.

Ruth is waiting for him on the landing. "She asleep?"

"Looks like it."

She nods. "Good. Now tell me what you're doing in my house unannounced on a Tuesday evening."

"Can we open some wine or something? I need a drink."

"And you want wine?" she asks in surprise.

Nelson raises an eyebrow. "Am I right assuming it's all you've got in?"

She frowns and leads the way downstairs. He's right, it is all she's got in, but she's not going to give him the satisfaction of being correct.

"You haven't got a bit of toast, have you? I never had any dinner."

"Why not?" Ruth asks, opening a bottle of red wine and pouring two glasses. She points Nelson to the breadbox with the toaster beside it.

"Champion," he says, accepting the glass of wine from her.

Ruth leans against the counter and watches as he makes toast and sips the wine. He makes no comment. She won't let herself ask him again what he's doing in her house. She'll wait for him to tell her. Even if it kills her.

And finally he tells her, "Michelle's left me."

Ruth nearly chokes on her wine. "What!?"

"Came home to her with a packed suitcase. Told me she was leaving. That she would start divorce proceedings. And she left."

His voice is so cold, so unfeeling. It nearly scares Ruth to hear him so detached. He's never been a detached sort of man. "Where's she gone?" Ruth asks.

"To her mother's in Blackpool."

Ruth frowns. "Do you think she planned this the last time you were up there?"

He shrugs. "Probably. She was...calm."

"You seem pretty calm yourself."

He puts his wine glass down and scrubs his face. "Don't think it's sunk in yet, really."

"I can't believe it," Ruth murmurs to herself as much as to Nelson. "Michelle loves you." And that was the truth. More than anything else, Ruth knew that Nelson and Michelle loved each other. And that was why she'd kept her own foolish feelings for him to herself. If it had been another way...well, no she'd never let herself think about that.

Nelson shakes his head. "That wasn't enough. And honestly, I can't blame her. We were never really suited for each other. All we had was our history and our daughters and our love."

"Isn't that what marriage is?" Ruth interjects quietly.

"I thought so. But no, I don't think it's enough. I guess it's best she did it. I was never going to leave her. You know that better than anyone."

"I never wanted you to leave her," Ruth reminds him quickly. Here and now, they must both remember that.

"I know. And I know you'd have never asked. If you did..."

"No," she interrupts. "We can't talk about that now."

They both fall quiet and slowly sip their wine. Nelson puts a bit of jam on his toast and takes a bite, chewing methodically.

Ruth's mind is all a mess. What does this mean, that Michelle has left him? That he's here now? As she muddles through it, an angering thought takes hold. "So that's why you're here? One woman's left you so now you can move on to the next in line?"

"Of course not!"

"I won't be anyone's second choice, Nelson. Particularly not when you're upset or in shock or whatever this is."

"You're not second choice, Ruth. And that's not why I'm here."

"So why are you here?"

"Seeing Katie always makes me feel better. And I just...I couldn't be in that house. Not right now. I'll sell the bloody thing as soon as I can. But as soon as Michelle was gone, I got back in my car and came straight here without thinking about it."

"To see Kate?"

"Yes. And you."

"Why me?"

He exhales in a sort of sad sigh. "I just want to be with you, Ruth."

"Funny how it sounds so simple like that," she scoffs.

"Well that's it, really. As simple and as complicated as that."

The pair stare at each other, unmoving. Ruth doesn't know what she's supposed to do, now or tomorrow or next week. She finishes her glass of wine and sighs. "You can sleep on the sofa. For tonight only. I will not have Kate get used to you being here. And it'll probably be best if you're gone before she wakes up tomorrow. You got to do bedtime. That's going to cause enough awkward questions without you being here for the morning as well."

Nelson swallows the last bite of toast. "Thanks, Ruth."

She gives a curt nod. "There's a blanket in the trunk beside the bookshelf. Goodnight, Nelson." And as she breezes past him to go upstairs to her room, the room where he had once joined her to conceive their daughter sleeping across the hall, Ruth can't help but feel immensely proud of herself for being strong enough to not just fall weeping into his arms for the miracle of knowing that even a small part of him wants her for any reason at all.


	2. Chapter 2

_Chapter Two_

When Ruth's alarm goes off, she shuts it off quickly, praying it won't wake Kate, and hurries down the stairs as quiet as she can. She is beyond relieved that the sofa cushions are put back and the blanket is folded rather neatly. Just to be sure, she pops her head in the kitchen. No sign of Nelson. And she glances out the window to see that his car is gone as well. Thank goodness.

Ruth is about to go back upstairs to her room to get ready for the day when she sees a note on the kitchen table. She picks it up cautiously, as though it may bite her if she makes any sudden moves.

_Thanks for the sofa and the blanket and the friendly ear. Sorry to bother. We should talk about things later. _

And that was all the note said. Short and simple and to the point. How very like Nelson. And his handwriting is so bloody neat. How does he do that? Most very neat handwriting is quite feminine, but not his. Ruth herself writes with a scrawling precision borne from years of archaeological training where one's notes need to be legible for everyone on the dig team to decipher. Perhaps Nelson was trained the same way as a cop?

No matter. She brings the note upstairs with her so Kate won't find it and ask questions—she's starting to read already but she needs a lot of help and is not afraid to ask for it.

Kate herself is already out of bed and standing on the landing looking at her mother accusingly. "Morning snuggle," the four-year-old demands in her sleepy little voice.

Ruth smiles. Kate's just barely too big for her to pick up now, but she wishes she could scoop her daughter up into her arms and cuddle up with her in bed. Instead, Ruth just holds out her hand for Kate to take and leads her into her bedroom. The two of them get under the covers and Kate burrows her face into the center of Ruth's chest and falls back to sleep. It's Wednesday, so they can't do this for long. But so long as Ruth keeps her eye on the clock, they can have ten minutes or so.

What would happen if Nelson were here? If Kate's father and mother were together like most of the other little children she played with? If Michelle really has left Nelson for good, that seems to be a real possibility now. It never had been before. Ruth has fantasized since the day she found out she was pregnant about what it might be like to really be with Nelson and their daughter like a proper family. But that's just a fantasy. The reality is that Ruth loves her life. She doesn't want another person around vying for Kate's affection. Having Nelson be there for bedtime had been extremely unsettling. Ruth loves him, of course, and cannot escape that fact no matter how she tries. But she also loves this, snuggling up with Kate in the early morning quiet, just the two of them. If Nelson were here, it would be different. And Ruth has never been one to believe that different equates to better. She's rather skeptical of new things. There's probably some deep psychological reason for that, but she doesn't want to think too much about it right now.

In the heart of suburban King's Lynn, Nelson is sitting in his car in the driveway of his house, dreading going inside. He has no idea what he will find. Or rather, what he won't find. It looked like Michelle only took one suitcase but perhaps she'd already packed the car when he had gotten home last night. What things of hers—theirs—has she taken? And which would be better, to find the house exactly as he remembered with only Michelle missing, or completely unrecognizable? But it's getting on in the morning and he has to shower and change clothes before he can get to the police station and attempt to muddle through the day.

Nelson gets out of his car and unlocks the front door. Everything feels as though Michelle is at work and everything else is fine. The house is quiet and empty and so far, just the same. He trudges upstairs to get to the bathroom and tries not to notice anything. Not yet.

As the hot water spits over him in the shower, he tries to not think about all the shampoo and floral body wash and whatever else that's now absent from the rack in the shower. All that's left are Nelson's things. And he's not got much.

When he dries himself off and stands at the mirror to shave, he realizes he has no idea what he's supposed to do. Michelle has left him and she'd talked about divorce, but is that just one of those womanly things to threaten him into action? Is he supposed to chase after her, show up at her mother's house in Blackpool, beg her to come back? And, the chilling thought enters his mind, does he even want to do that? He had told Ruth this was only a matter of time, but he has honestly never had any real intent to leave Michelle. And he never really thought she'd leave him. But is that because he's just always liked things to stay as they always have been? Or was he actually happy in his marriage? In his heart of hearts, he knows he wasn't. Hasn't been for a long time. Not since...well, if he's completely honest with himself, he hasn't felt the same way about his marriage to Michelle since he met Ruth.

For perhaps the first time in his life, Nelson wishes he was one of those modern men who talks about his feelings. He wants to say these things out loud to someone, to work it out without pressure or judgment. Isn't that why people have close friends? He's never needed anything like this before. And now that he does, he's at quite a bit of a loss.

Ruth is usually the person he wants to talk to about most things. Usually work things but he's always liked getting her perspective on whatever's bothering him. But he can't talk to her about this, not any more than he already has. Because she is the beginning and the end of all this mess. Ruth Galloway opened his eyes for the first time in a very long time, and he knows he needs to find his way back to her. But before he can even attempt anything with Ruth, he's got to sort out his marriage. And he's got to sort out fatherhood as well. No matter what may or may not happen with him and Ruth, they've got Katie to think about. And Jesus does he love that little girl. Even just thinking about her, Nelson smiles. Nearly cuts himself shaving from smiling.

Besides Ruth, he doesn't really have many friends. Cloughie is almost a mate but he's useless with things like this. And he's the only man Nelson mostly likes. He's always felt more comfortable in the company of women, actually. His mother and his sisters and his wife and his daughters. His life has been full of wonderful women he's loved very much. But his mother is gone. His sisters are off busy with their own lives. His wife is gone. His daughters should not be made a part of this at all.

Nelson is walking down the stairs when he suddenly stops short. Judy. Judy Johnson would be the one. Because she's gone through just this thing. She was with Darren her whole life until she had an affair with Cathbad—and Jesus wept that he's actually the closest male friend Nelson's got—and then bore his child and eventually left her husband to be with this man she loved. Weird couple they make, but they seem happy. Judy weathered the storm and came out the other side. Perhaps she's got some pointers.

Without any further thought on the subject, Nelson picks up his mobile and dials Judy's number.

"Yeah boss?" she says, answering on the second ring.

"Where are you right now?"

"About to leave home for work," she replies.

"Meet me at the Swan in twenty minutes."

"How come? We got a case there?"

If Nelson were a different sort of man, he might chuckle good-naturedly. Instead, he just tells her, "I need to speak with you. I'll buy you breakfast."


	3. Chapter 3

_Chapter Three_

Judy arrives at the Swan right on time, very concerned about what this might be about. She'd told Cathbad about Nelson's strange call and her partner had only nodded knowingly and said, "Nelson is in a period of crisis." Cathbad is always saying things like that. And he's always been right.

"Morning, boss," she greets, sitting down across the table from him.

"Johnson," he nods. But then he corrects himself. "Judy."

She looks at him curiously, trying to find evidence of what he might need to talk to her about. "Cathbad says you're in crisis."

"He would, wouldn't be?" Nelson answers gruffly.

Judy smiles softly. "Yes, he would."

"He's not wrong. Bloody druid," he grumbles.

"Yes, well, we know what he's like. But...what's wrong? What can I do?"

This is why Nelson wanted to speak with her. She's kind-hearted and she's sharp. Of any officer he's ever worked with, Nelson is proudest of Judy. "I wanted to ask about Darren." It's a roundabout way of getting at the issue, but it's as good a place as any to start.

"Oh?" She's surprised at that. Rightly so. No one ever seemed to speak much about Judy's ex-husband. The two of them had been sweethearts when they were young, and they'd been together their entire adult lives. And then she'd had her affair with Cathbad before and after the wedding and had a child she named Michael, Cathbad's real name. And when it all came to light in the midst of Michael being kidnapped, Judy and Darren had parted ways, and she and Cathbad had lived happily ever after, it seemed. And at least half that story is eerily familiar to Nelson.

"You and Darren were together a long time. But then...with Cathbad…" Nelson feels horribly awkward saying such things to her, asking to discuss her personal life.

"Me and Cathbad makes absolutely no sense, I know. I knew that from the start. But there's something about him that always drew me in. I couldn't get him out of my head. And then once we...got together...nothing else ever felt quite as right as it did when I was with him. And after a while, I couldn't pretend anymore. That wasn't fair to Darren. And I did love him. I always will. We lived our whole lives together. And if I never met Cathbad, we might have been happy for the rest of our lives. But that's not how it happened."

Yes, Nelson thinks, Judy's story is eerily familiar. He and Michelle had always been moderately content. He played the good husband, going on trips and doing weekend chores she wanted. And she was always the perfect wife to him. And maybe they weren't passionate about each other anymore, but after twenty-five years, that was to be expected, wasn't it? But as Nelson allows himself to think about it, he realizes that Michelle was right. They deserved more. They deserved better. She certainly did. And even though he'd never imagined or hoped for more than he had, maybe there was a way he could be happier in the world than he had been with Michelle.

"Boss, what's going on?" Judy asks with concern. "You know everything about me and Cathbad and Darren. You were there for most of it."

"Michelle's left me," he says bluntly. It got easier to say each time, though this is only the second time he's said it out loud.

"What!?"

"Packed up and left last night. And she said that we both deserve more than what we had. And I didn't...I didn't know there could be."

And then a flicker of understanding crosses Judy's face and she smiles softly. "Well, from experience, I can tell you there's more."

Nelson just nods. Their food arrives and they eat in silence. Another wonderful thing about Johnson. He never has to worry about her saying too much. This entire conversation was something of a nightmare for him but it did weirdly make him feel better. He could go to work and focus on his cases, and afterwards, he'll find a hotel to stay in and call Michelle to talk things through. And after that, after he knows what's happening, then he will go back and talk to Ruth.

"I'm glad you called me," Judy admits between bites of toast. "I can't imagine what it's like after being married so long, and obviously my situation's different than that, and I wouldn't want to intrude on anything, but…if you want to talk about things or have a drinking partner or whatever, I'm around."

He gives her a strained half-smile. "Thanks. I'll let you know. I might need a break from Cloughie, once he finds out."

Judy laughs, "Yeah, he's going to be really weird and annoying, I'm sure."

"Par for the course."

That only makes Judy laugh more. She and Dave Clough have always been fierce competitors, like siblings vying for their withholding father's attention. And she loves Clough like a brother and trusts him with her life every day. And normally it's Cloughie that Nelson turns to for most things. But not this. For this, he'd turned first to Judy. "I won't say anything at work," she assures him.

Nelson nods. "I know you won't.

At the same time Nelson and Judy are finishing up their breakfast in town, Ruth is hurrying around the house to find Kate's Dora the Explorer lunch pail. Never mind that Sandra, the childminder, provides all the children with lunches that the older of them help her make. Ruth does like that Sandra does this, though it had taken her by surprise when Kate all of a sudden chided her for spreading butter on the bread wrong for making a toasted cheese. But Kate is insisting on showing off her lunch pail to her new little friend, Alison. And so Ruth is looking through every bag of school things Ruth has been buying all through the summer in an attempt to get Kate ready for the idea of attending primary school in the next month.

"Mum!" Kate whines, "We're going to be late! Where's Dora!?"

Ruth is not entirely equipped to handle all the implications of her daughter's words, as she's on her hands and knees in the closet. But thankfully, there's Dora's happy little face smiling on pink plastic. Ruth crawls back out and hauls her overweight body off the floor. "Kate, let's go! I've got a lecture!" Obviously that's not Kate's problem, and Ruth is entirely regretting telling Phil that she'd cover one of the summer classes.

They finally get into the car and race off to Sandra's. Ruth can't listen to Radio Two right now, she's too keyed up. She puts on the CD of Bruce Springsteen she's got. Kate sings along in the backseat. But as Thunder Road ends, Kate asks, "Mum, is Dad coming over again tonight?"

"I don't think so," Ruth responds, trying to conceal her annoyance. Nelson has put her into a very odd position. How's she supposed to explain anything about this to Kate when she herself has no idea what's going on? Ruth doesn't know if Nelson is going to come over tonight or tomorrow or next week or whenever. And it's not as though she can tell him not to, he's her father. That's been the most important thing from the start, that Kate have both her parents in her life. Ruth would never want to keep Nelson away from her. But before, Michelle had done a good job of keeping Nelson from getting too close. Ruth had not needed to make rules. Now, though, she was certainly going to have to have a conversation with him about boundaries going forward. She meant what she said to him. She would not be his second choice. And she wouldn't let Kate be a second choice either.

"I hope he does come," Kate says. "I like when Daddy comes by."

Perhaps it is petty, but Ruth just turns up the volume on Bruce. She mutters under her breath so Kate can't hear her swear over how bloody complicated this is going to be.


	4. Chapter 4

_Chapter Four_

Ruth gets through her morning lecture just fine. She stays in her office at the university to get some things organized and answer a few emails. She's told Sandra that she will pick up Kate after lunch, since Kate enjoys having lunch at Sandra's and Ruth can use the peace and quiet that summer on the campus brings.

She checks her phone every two minutes, it seems. She's waiting for Nelson to call or text or something. She can't reach out to him and ask what the bloody hell is going on, as much as she wishes she could. But that's never been her way with him. Or with anyone, actually. Ruth Galloway is a woman who keeps to herself, thank you very much. Oh she wants and yearns and dreams like most women, but Ruth has never been one to go out there and make things happen. Not like Shona, her gorgeous friend who seduced every unhappily married man in a twelve-mile radius before Phil actually left his wife for her. Ruth's never been like that. Ruth has never gone after what she wants. Probably because she assumes it won't work out. Or if it does, she'll discover that she doesn't actually want it. With men, that usually is the way it works.

And what if Nelson, in answer to her most desperate of dreams, actually does get divorced and comes to her? Will she still feel, as she'd told him last night, that he's only with her because Michelle left and he's moved on to Ruth as a second choice? Or will she give him a chance and start a life with him only to feel stifled like she had with Peter and with Max? Reality's never been as good as her dreams, so Ruth never really bothers. But with Nelson, it's different. Even when she was with Max or that brief fling with Frank, that attractive American historian, it's Nelson who still dominates her heart.

That's how he is, too. Dominating. Nelson is tall and broad and fills every room he enters, and he has a deep voice that, even when he speaks softly, is dominating over the din of normal life. And, of course, he's the father of Ruth's child. She can't escape him even if she wants to. And she doesn't want to.

Her mobile rings and jolts Ruth out of her thoughts. "Hello?" she answers on the first ring.

"Ruth, are you alright?"

She expects it to be Nelson, but it isn't. She hadn't looked at the Caller ID. It's Cathbad. Whenever something's amiss, it's usually Cathbad. "I'm fine," she tells him.

There's a pause on the line. He doesn't believe her. "The spirits seem to think different," he replies.

"Your spirits probably know something I don't, then. But I'm in my office answering emails from students. Kate is with the childminder. Everyone's fine."

Cathbad hums. "I hope you'll let me know if there's anything I can do to help."

"I appreciate that."

"Good. I'll see you soon, Ruth."

And with that, Cathbad's hung up, leaving Ruth feeling rather confused and concerned. Perhaps she isn't alright after all. All this with Nelson is quite jarring. But she's not ready to talk to anyone about it yet. What she really needs is to talk to Nelson, to figure out what he's going to do and what's going to happen. Ruth knows she's just got to wait till he calls.

Nelson, unfortunately for Ruth, has no intention of calling her. Not yet, anyway. He spends the day buried in paperwork. Normally he'd hate it, but today it's a welcome respite. Mindless reports and requisitions and things help keep his mind away from his personal life and he doesn't have to worry about getting too distracted from anything important.

Judy is at her desk, hard at work as usual. She's given no indication, so far as Nelson can tell, that they met for breakfast or that they spoke about anything of any importance. He knew he could count on her. Cloughie is out with Sergeant Tanya Fuller to follow up with some tips on an ongoing drug case they've been working. Nothing too dramatic going on, thank goodness.

But all day, Nelson is itching for the time to pass so he can go home. He's not usually one to want to cut out early, but today he might. He wants to talk to Michelle as soon as he can, but he knows he can't do it till he gets home. Other than emergencies, he never makes personal calls or anything like that at work. Though it's not often he ever has anything personal to worry about. Michelle had always been the one to handle things. Rebecca and Laura's school and boyfriend troubles. Taking care of the house. Getting dinner on the table. Nelson's only ever had a passing relationship with any of those things.

Christ, maybe that's what Michelle meant. For so long, their lives have been so far apart. She would go to work and go to the gym and go out with friends and watch Sex and the City with their daughters. He would work and watch football on the weekends and occasionally go out to a pub for a pint. At the weekend, he and Michelle would go to the garden center together. But even then, he was just there to drive the car and carry heavy things and pay for it. Even their holidays away together, he'd just followed whatever she wanted to do without comment. He'd never enjoyed himself ever, unless she was in a good mood and they'd had a good holiday shag. That part of their relationship, though less frequent over the years, had always been rather good. But how could it not have been? Michelle has been the most beautiful woman in the world since the day Nelson met her. He still isn't sure why she'd ever married him. Well, she loved him, didn't she? And he loved her. They'd had their daughters and that was it.

Yes, Michelle was right. They deserve more. And the trouble is, Nelson has known what _more_ could be like for about five years now. Michelle realized it, too. She knew that what he'd shared with Ruth—what he still shares with Ruth—is more than he's ever shared with her. Michelle had forbidden him from speaking to her or seeing her except for professional purposes, but that had not lasted. She had allowed him to be a part of Katie's life as her father, and he wants that more than anything else.

Without any warning, Nelson gets up from his desk and walks out. "I'm on my mobile if anything happens," he says to the room in general as he leaves the station.

Nelson drives home in a flash, still trying to mentally prepare himself for entering the empty house. Tomorrow he'll contact an estate agent. If Michelle truly doesn't want the house, he will sell it as soon as possible. He'll even give her the proceeds. He doesn't care. If this is the end of their marriage, it's going to go as smooth and easy as he can possibly manage it. For all the confusion they've got, Nelson knows he does still love her, in his way. And he wants her to be happy. He just no longer really wants to be the one to make her happy.

As soon as he walks inside, he grabs the landline phone and dials Michelle's mobile. She picks up on the second ring.

"I was wondering when you were going to call," she says without any other greeting.

"I needed some time to think about things," he replies.

She sighs. "Yes, I figured. So what have you decided?"

That confuses him a bit. "How do you mean?"

"I mean, what are you going to do? How are we going to handle this? I assume you've got some idea, Harry."

It strikes him, not for the first time, that Michelle is one of maybe four people in the whole world who calls him by his first name. It feels odd. Well, not from Michelle, she's only ever called him Harry. But he doesn't even really think of himself as Harry. Harry Nelson might be his legal name, but really, he's just Nelson. His few friends call him Nelson. People at work call him Nelson—except Whitcliffe, but he's a prat and doesn't count anyway. Ruth calls him Nelson. It feels so much more correct to be called by his surname only. Harry is a man who had tried, to perhaps the barest level, to be a good husband to Michelle. Nelson is a man who know that was a farcical folly.

But rather than get caught up in his own thoughts any longer, Nelson tells Michelle exactly what his idea is.

"If you're serious, Michelle, I don't think we should waste any time. But the way you left and all, I just…am I supposed to chase after you and beg you to come home? Is that what you want me to do?"

She pauses. "Do you want me to come home?"

"Answer me," he insists. He cannot tell her the truth, that he does not want her to come home. But if she does, he will tamp down any other desires he may feel and he will repair his marriage once again. He is married to Michelle, not to his job or to Ruth or to himself. And that commitment is something he takes seriously. In their twenty-five-year marriage, he's slept with three women other than Michelle. Ruth was the only one he'd ever been with more than once. And whatever else his flaws are, he has never thought at all seriously about being with anyone else. Ruth and his feelings for her aside, of course. That's a muddled mess he cannot possibly think about now, not while he is desperately waiting for Michelle to determine their future.

And he waits for her to speak. He waits for her answer.


	5. Chapter 5

_Chapter Five_

Michelle waits a long time before she finally replies to Nelson's demands of what she wants him to do, what she wants to happen now. "I…I thought that I wanted you to want me, Harry," she says. "I wanted to be needed and loved and appreciated. And I know you didn't really ever take me for granted. But the life we had…" She trails off and a shaky breath sounds through the phone, as though she's trying very hard not to cry. "The life we had isn't worth fighting for. I know that if I come back, nothing's going to be different. And I don't want you to promise that it will be only to disappoint us both. Neither of us have ever really liked Norfolk, but I hate Blackpool, too. I'm only planning on being here long enough to get some things in order. My cousin Gina is a hairdresser, you remember? She lives in Essex. I thought I'd save up some money and try to move down there."

He doesn't want to be too obvious about it, but he's absolutely relieved to hear that she has no intention of returning to Norfolk or to being his wife. She's got a plan, she wants to do something with her life, and he's happy for her. He tells her so. "I think that sounds really good, Michelle. I think that I should sell the house. And I want you to have whatever I get for it. We can split the savings and I can find a flat in Lynn, that's all I need. I think…I think we've both got a good chance to move on."

"I think so too." There's a smile in her voice that he can hear, which comforts him more than he'd expected. She continues, "I haven't had a chance to tell the girls yet. I think I should be the one to do it. But they should have a chance to go to the house and take anything they want to keep before you sell it."

"That's a good idea. You tell them however you think is best, and I'll be here for whenever they can make it back."

"And I'm not going to blame you to them," she assures him. "You're not the bad guy here, and I don't want Laura and Rebecca to think you are."

"Thanks." Another thought crosses his mind. "But I've still got to tell them about Katie. I don't think I can stop them from thinking I'm the bad guy after that," he realizes.

"You tell them that, then. But I've known about it for four years, and if I can accept it, they'll come around, too."

"That's not why you left, is it?" He knows it's not. Well, he hopes it's not. He'd thought that he'd made amends to Michelle after the affair—well, the one night that caused Katie and the one night of comfort a year later—but surely she'd harbored the resentment.

"It's not why I left, but I think it helped me make the decision. Knowing that you'd be alright without me. I don't pretend to know what you and Ruth have or had, but you've always been a good family man. I don't think you'd do well all on your own. But you've got Kate to focus on, especially now while she's little. And Ruth is…whatever she is to you. I think you'll be okay."

And strangely, Nelson smiles. "Yeah. I'll be okay."

While Nelson and Michelle start to decide how to move forward, Ruth is at home with Kate and wishing that time would stop. Her perfect little daughter is currently sitting on the floor with her Sylvanians. Kate's created an elaborate world for all those little bunnies in their house. And she narrates their lives while Flint, their beloved ginger cat, lays nearby. Ruth is fixing a simple dinner for them both—salad for herself and chicken fingers for Kate—and listening to Kate's narration.

"And then the mummy comes home and makes dinner, and the daddy comes home and plays with everyone. 'Mummy, I don't want broccoli!' 'No, you have to eat broccoli, it's good for you!' But then there's a big wind and the house shakes!" Kate begins to jostle the playhouse, making little noises of fear and surprise for each of the rabbit family members. "Everyone falls down! The daddy has to save the day, but he fell! The mummy comes to save Liz and Tyler!"

Ruth recognizes the names Liz and Tyler as other children that Sandra watches sometimes. Maybe this storyline came from some of their playtime. But she'll ask Kate about it later. She calls her daughter to the kitchen so they can have their dinner.

"But Mum, Liz and Tyler are scared from the big wind!" Kate whines.

"You can rescue them after we eat." Ruth instantly regrets her words. By telling Kate she can continue to play after dinner means that getting her through bathtime and into bed is going to be a fight. She can just feel it. It would be so much easier if Nelson were here to distract her and get her to cooperate.

Ruth feels like she's got whiplash from that thought. Since when has she wished for Nelson to be around?! No, Ruth's always loved her little life of independence, just her and Kate alone. There had been moments of desperation when Kate was an infant where she'd longed for a partner to help with the parenting labor, to get up in the middle of the night with Kate when she was dead tired or to help with the wash when the baby had spit up on everything in sight. But that had been a long time ago. And even then, Ruth had just wanted some help, she'd not wanted Nelson, specifically.

Seeing him here last night with Kate had really done it, she knows. Before then, it was just an abstract concept, having someone around. But actually seeing Nelson be a father to their child, to not just buy her things for her birthday and take her to the park at the weekend, but to be present for the everyday things of bathtime and stories before bed…Ruth's seen a glimpse of what could be. And she's not sure what to do with it.

Ruth is quiet during dinner. She asks Kate questions about the Sylvanians and the game she's playing, but she just lets the child talk. After they've finished, when Ruth would normally have Kate help her clean up—a good habit to teach a child early, Ruth believes—she instead lets Kate go back to her playing. Ruth needs to be alone to think about some things. The first and foremost being to wonder what the bloody hell has come over her!

If she's honest with herself, which she does not want to be at the present time, Ruth has to admit that she does like so many aspects of having Nelson around more. She's been proud to be a single mother for these first five years of Kate's life. She and Kate against the world. She copes financially and every other way. And she's happy with it like that. Kate is hers and hers alone and she does not have to compromise with anyone else on how to raise her. There are the fights with her parents on the lack of religion, specifically Christian religion, in the household and isn't that horribly damaging? But Kate's grandparents live all the way in South London and they absolutely despise coming to Norfolk, so there's only the odd phone call here and there for Ruth to fend them off.

She makes the realization that her own parents are Kate's only grandparents. Nelson's father had died when he was young, and his mother passed away two months ago. Did Nelson ever tell his mother about Kate? No, probably not. Ruth knows that Nelson was raised Catholic, something that clings to him in the oddest ways sometimes. His mother was Irish and strongly Catholic till the day she died. She likely would not have approved of her only son having a child of adultery. Ruth is suddenly quite sad about this thought, that Nelson had not gotten to crow with pride to his mother about Kate the way he surely had done with his older daughters. And his mother had not gotten the privilege to ever know about what a wonderful little girl Kate is. At least Ruth thinks she's a wonderful little girl. She's a bit biased though. But aren't all mothers that way? Would Nelson's mother have seen his youngest child and been proud of him? Ruth thinks that if Kate ever has children—something that will never happen because Ruth is determined to keep her small and sweet like this forever—that she will be a proud mother and grandmother.

She's loaded the last dish into the washer when her mobile phone chimes, indicating she's gotten a text message. Ruth goes over to her bag sitting on the counter to fish the phone out from its depths. She's forever getting her phone lost in one of the thousand compartments of her purse. Aren't those compartments meant to make things more organized? Ruth never can seem to manage it. But finally she does find the phone and checks the message. From Nelson.

_Can we talk?_ it reads.

Ruth pauses to consider for a moment before replying, _Let me put Kate to bed and then I can call you later if that's okay._

_Sure_, comes his almost immediate reply.

So that's that. Time to get through bathtime and bedtime and suffer through the anxiety of what Nelson wants to talk about until she can call him. She wonders if they'd finished off that bottle of wine last night. She's going to need some.


	6. Chapter 6

_Chapter Six_

Eventually, Ruth has gotten Kate in bed asleep and opened a new bottle of wine for herself. She sits down on the sofa with her phone in hand and takes a big sip, reminding herself to calm down. This can't be that big of a deal, can it? It's just Nelson. Nelson wants to talk to her. After having spent last night sleeping right here on this very sofa.

Oh god, she hasn't thought of that before. He slept right here. Had he slept well? He didn't say in his note. And she's never slept with him before. She doesn't know if he sleeps on his back or on his side. She doesn't know if he snores or if he tosses around or if he gets up for a pee every hour. The nights she and Nelson have spent together have never included sleeping. That first night, the night they conceived Kate, he hadn't stayed over. It was best he hadn't. He was married. She was not his wife. And the second time, they were trapped by a storm and unable to get to Kate who was being watched by a girl they worried might have been a murderer.

There must be something really wrong with her, Ruth thinks to herself. What sort of woman falls madly in love with a man after sleeping with him twice, each time amidst emotional turmoil? And a married man nonetheless, lest she ever forget that. And she's staring at her phone, trying to work up the nerve to call him to see if he is still in fact married. In all likelihood, that's why he wants to talk. He wants to tell her that Michelle is coming home and it was all just a rough patch that they'll get through just as they did three years ago when Michelle first found out about Kate's paternity. Yes, that has to be what this is. Because Ruth is not the sort of woman who gets the happy ending. She's never wanted to be a fairytale sort of woman. Those women are wonderful and beautiful and happy and adored. Ruth is an overweight hermit woman who spends her days digging up bones so she can go home to her cat and her child and no one else. That's how it's supposed to be. Just Kate and Ruth alone. She's never really hoped for anything more, because Ruth has always known that she's just not the sort to have things like that. Not ever before, and more than likely, not now.

Well, there's nothing for it then but to steel herself and just do it. She scrolls through her contacts to find Nelson and presses the call button before she can chicken out.

He answers after three rings. "Hallo, Ruth," he greets pleasantly.

She hates him for that. The way he says her name. The way it sounds in his voice. The way she loves it so much. "Hallo, Nelson," she replies. "Kate's asleep, finally. You said you wanted to talk?"

"How was bathtime tonight?" he asks, ignoring her opening for whatever it is he wanted to talk to her about.

"It was fine. She had finished with her Sylvanians and their troubles with the big scary wind, and she was yawning while we scrubbed teeth, so she went down easy." Ruth nearly tells him that their daughter—her mind does that sometimes, calls Kate _their_ daughter and not just _her_ daughter—had asked if Daddy was going to come over again soon. If Nelson is going to tell her that Michelle is coming back, Ruth doesn't want to put any undue pressure on him. Kate loves her father, and Ruth makes sure they have a good relationship. But she also does not want Kate to become too expectant about what Nelson can provide her until he's made the commitment to give it. The worst thing, in Ruth's mind, is for Kate to be caught in the middle of all this mess. The older she gets, the harder it becomes to answer questions about her father.

Nelson thankfully interrupts Ruth's whirring thoughts. "I'm glad she didn't fuss. You made it seem like bathtime and bedtime is a fight sometimes."

"Yes, it is."

"She was easy with me last night because it was new and exciting," he says modestly.

He's being kind and Ruth wishes he wouldn't. It makes it too hard for her. But despite knowing this, she lets it slip, "She loves having you around, no matter what's going on."

Nelson sighs heavily into the phone, making Ruth instantly regret her words. But she holds her tongue, waiting for him. After all, he's the one who wanted to talk. Eventually, he speaks. "I spoke to Michelle today."

Ruth feels like the air has all been sucked out of her. She doesn't answer.

The awkward silence stretches between them. Nelson wishes he'd insisted on doing this face to face with her. But that probably would have made things worse. Time and again, he's proven that he can't be trusted when emotions run high, not when he's with Ruth. If they were together, he's sure he wouldn't be able to resist kissing her. She gets a certain look on her face when she's concerned. She cares so much, does Ruth, and it's one of the things he loves most about her. She cares about the people who have been dead for hundreds and thousands of years whose bones she digs up and studies. She cares about the people who live on after the dead. She cares about her friends. She cares about her daughter. And Nelson knows that she cares about him.

A thought enters his mind quite suddenly. Years ago when he'd been poisoned from bacterial fumes in that coffin and nearly died in a coma in hospital. Michelle had told him that she'd asked Ruth to come see him, but she hadn't come till after he was awake. "Why didn't you come to see me when I was in a coma?" he asks.

"What?!"

The non-sequitur has thrown her, he knows. It's thrown him a bit, too. But now it's stuck with him. "Michelle said you wouldn't come to the hospital when I was in the coma."

"Is that what you talked about today?" Ruth asks him.

"No. But I just thought of it. I never talked to you after that. Not…about that. I dunno why I just thought of it now."

Ruth hesitates a moment before she answers. "Michelle came here. To the cottage. She asked me to come see you, that maybe if I talked to you, it might help or something."

"But you said no?"

"You've got to understand, Kate was so little. I had just started going back to work. I was absolutely insane about her safety and her health and all. And I just…I was afraid to go to a hospital and pick up something and transmit it to her. Especially when they didn't know what was wrong with you. And I…" She trails off, clearly at a loss.

Inexplicably, Nelson smiles. He's sitting in his office at home, the one room of the house that doesn't scream of Michelle, and he smiles. "I'm glad you didn't come. If that was why, I'm glad you didn't risk her for me. If I were awake, I'd have gone mad thinking you'd exposed Katie to something."

"You're always doing that, making accusations like I'm not taking proper care of her!" Despite the annoyance of her words, Ruth gives a little chuckle.

He laughs. "I know, I'm sorry."

"So if that's not what you talked to Michelle about, are you going to tell me what it was?" Ruth presses.

"We're getting a divorce," he says. Strangely, it doesn't feel terrible to say out loud. He knows that this is what Michelle wants, and it's what he wants, the more he thinks of it. It won't be fun or easy, but it's the right thing.

"Oh Nelson, I'm sorry," Ruth says kindly.

"Don't be. It's for the best," he tells her firmly. "Michelle's in Blackpool for now. And she's got plans to move to Exeter and work with her cousin who's a hairdresser there."

"That sounds good."

"Yeah, I think it will be."

"So that's Michelle sorted, I suppose. What about you?"

It strikes him that Ruth is not usually this transparent. Though maybe he's flattering himself on that front. "That's what I wanted to talk to you about."

"Alright."

"I'm going to sell the house and get a flat in Lynn somewhere. I don't need much. But I was hoping you could help me look."

"Me? Why?" There's a tone of shock in her voice that really makes him wish he could see her face.

"I want it to be a place where Katie can spend time. If she wants to and it's alright with you. Because whatever happens in the future with me, I know that Michelle leaving gives me the freedom to be more part of her life. But it's all up to you, Ruth. I don't want to push in where I'm not wanted." He's saying the right words, he knows. He is telling Ruth exactly what he's supposed to in this situation, to respect her as Kate's mother and to not overstep. But if Ruth tells him to keep away, he might lose it. That's the only thing holding him together, what with his whole life turned upside down by Michelle leaving. She'd even said that she feels better leaving knowing that he can focus his time on Katie. But if he can't…well, it doesn't even bear thinking about yet.

"I…I'll have to think about it," is Ruth's eventual answer.

"Sure," he replies. "I know it's a lot. There's been a lot in the last twenty-four hours. I still have to find out how to tell everyone. Judy's the only one who knows right now."

"Cathbad called me at work today asking if I'm alright," Ruth tells him suddenly. She gives a small laugh. "I obviously wasn't going to tell him that you spent the night on my sofa after your wife left you, but you know how he is."

"Yeah, Judy said he told her that I was in a time of crisis."

"He's not wrong, is he?"

He sighs. "No, he's not wrong."

Another silence fills the phoneline.

"Can I come over, Ruth?" Nelson asks quietly.

"I don't think you should," she replies, barely above a whisper.

"Probably not," he agrees. "But I want to."

Neither of them says another word, but they both know they're thinking the same thing.


	7. Chapter 7

_Chapter Seven_

"We've got to be smart about this," Ruth tells him.

Nelson can't help but smile a little bit. "You're very pragmatic."

She gives an annoyed little sigh. "I'm trying. You may have noticed that my job is the only thing I'm any good at, but this is important."

"Your job isn't the only thing you're good at," he tells her quite sincerely.

"I'm not fishing for compliments," Ruth replies very quickly, almost nervously.

Nelson chuckles slightly. "No, you don't do things like that. You're not like other women."

"That's a very sexist remark," she snaps.

"Why?"

"Because it's you making assumptions about what 'other women' are like and attempting to separate me out while putting down my entire gender," she explains.

"Jesus wept." He rolls his eyes and gets up from his desk chair. If Ruth is going to be like this, he's quite pleased that she doesn't want him to come over. He'd been after a comfort shag, not a feminist lecture.

"You're a man in the twenty-first century and you've got three daughters. You should try a bit harder, Nelson," she tells him, her tone slightly gentler now.

He gives a slight growl of exasperation. Mostly because she's right and he hates that she's always bloody right. "I should probably go. It's getting late," he says, hoping to escape with some of his dignity still intact.

"Oh so you're just going to pout now?"

Damn her. And damn him for actually getting a bit turned on over the way she puts him in his place. He and Michelle had argued plenty, sometimes with very rewarding consequences. But their arguments had been silly things. She wanted him to go to the garden center at the weekend or have dinner with her boss and his partner and he'd had a case that took him away. He always gave in to what she wanted. It was just easier that way. But Ruth nags him about important things. His attitude toward women, though always with an appreciative intent, could probably do with some modernizing.

"Right, I guess I'll let you go now," she says after his long silence.

"No, I'm sorry," he tells her quickly.

A hollow laugh sounds through the phone. "Did you just say that you're sorry?"

Part of him wants to just hang up, but that would be just like walking away when Michelle was annoyed at him for being late to dinner. He wasn't going to do that with Ruth. "I…I'm glad you said something," he says.

"Oh. I thought I was opening my big mouth again," she says with slight bashfulness.

"I like your big mouth," he says before he really thinks about what he's said. Hopefully Ruth doesn't make the connection to innuendo that he immediately had when the words came out.

"I suppose there's worse compliments to have," she quips.

Nelson tries again. "What I mean is, I like that you're smart. You're brilliant at everything you do. I liked it about you from the start. The way you're so sure of yourself with intellectual things. You don't hide yourself away like other women sometimes do. At least in my experience. Though that's probably another sexist remark, is it?"

"You're alright on that one," she tells him. Her voice is shaking slightly.

A warm feeling comes over him. He suddenly wants to tell her these things, all these things he's thought about so often over the last five years, all the things he's never allowed himself to say out loud. He doesn't have to worry about the fact that he's married anymore. Soon he won't be. But even now, Michelle isn't around to worry about, and she's even practically told him she wants him to be with Ruth. She'd always understood on some level that he and Ruth had something special. Before she learned about the affair and about Kate, Michelle had really liked Ruth and had appreciated the working relationship Nelson had with her. "Ruth?" he says, feeling quite free and brave, especially since they're on the phone and relatively safe from making too many mistakes.

"Yes, Nelson?"

"Ruth, I think you're incredible."

"You can't say things like this," she replies quickly. But her voice cracks, revealing how emotional she's getting.

"I've wanted to say it for a long time. But you had those men after you and I was married."

She interrupts him. "You're still married."

"Not really," he contradicts.

Ruth feels like her whole body is going to shake and melt and get absorbed into the carpet. It's all too much. In many ways—too many ways—it's everything she's ever wanted from Nelson. How long has she dreamed that he'd one day want her as she wanted him? But now that it seems to be coming true, she can't quite let herself have it. It's not that she's afraid to be happy. Or at least that's not all of it. She really hopes she's not too afraid to let herself be happy. Instead, she gives a better excuse to Nelson. "Michelle left yesterday. You've been on your own for one day. I know you both agreed to get a divorce, but what if you don't? What if you start making promises to me and to Kate that you can't keep? You've got to get settled by yourself before you can come running to us."

Nelson is quiet on the line for a moment. But he eventually swallows hard and replies, "You're right. I know you're right. You usually are. I just…I've never been allowed to really think about any of this before."

"I know." And she does. She's had her fantasies, to be sure. But never in her wildest dreams did she think any of this could be real. "Like I said, we need to be smart about this."

"Yeah," he agrees reluctantly. "It's not fair to Katie if we don't think this through."

The sadness in his voice is quite disheartening. "I'm not saying no. I'm just saying…not right now. You and me, I mean. I…" She pauses, unsure of how much she should let herself say to him.

"Yes?"

Oh damn him for that hopeful tone of his low, sexy voice. That voice can make her do anything, Ruth thinks. "I really hope we can figure something out. You know, there's a reason I broke it off with Max."

"The archaeologist bloke who wanted to be Katie's father?" he grumbles.

"Yes. I figured it wasn't fair to let him play happy family with us when I wished it was someone else. Besides, Kate's already got a father. And there's no one else I've wanted ever since."

Nelson is quiet, making Ruth panic. She's said too much. Way too much. This was such a horrible, horrible idea! She opens her mouth to retract some of it as best she can, but Nelson speaks first. "I've wanted you since the day I met you, Ruth," he confesses quietly.

"You what?"

"What I told you last night was the truth. I just want to be with you. And it's as simple and complex as that. I betrayed Michelle to be with you, and I tried to do what was right by my wife because she was my wife and that was the right thing. And if she wanted to come home, I'd have tried to make it work again. But it's you I want, Ruth. You and Kate."

Ruth feels like her entire mind is collapsing. This can't be real. She's going to wake up in a minute and find that she fell asleep on the sofa and dreamed this entire conversation. Not the least of which is because he's finally called their daughter by her proper name.

"Too much?" he asks nervously.

"Nelson, what are we going to do?" she breathes.

"Well I think if I come over tonight, the sex will be incredible and we'll end up even more confused."

She laughs at that, grateful for the reprieve. "You're probably right about that."

"But I think we should talk more. Maybe if you want to call me after Katie goes to sleep?"

"Every night?"

"If you want to."

She smiles. "I think…I think that would be nice." And it would be nice. Neither she nor Nelson has ever been the most personable of people. She's practically a hermit shut-in and he's more antisocial than he ever really gets to be. But he wants to talk to her every night. And while she treasures her quiet evenings alone after Kate has gone to sleep, Ruth cannot help but feel somewhat excited by the idea that she could share that quiet time with him. Just on the phone, for now, but maybe having him actually be there sometime soon might be quite nice. They could have quiet evenings alone…together.

Nelson continues, "And at the weekend, maybe I could come over and spend the day with her?"

"She'd love that," Ruth says warmly.

"And you?"

"Well, part of me gets very jealous whenever she's having fun with anyone who isn't me, but you're a special case," she teases. "But you're her dad, and you know I've always tried to make sure you can be with her whenever you can."

"It's going to be more often now," he vows. "I want to come over every weekend. And maybe a night or two during the week? If that's alright, I mean."

"Let's see how this weekend goes. And with your work, I don't know how well we can keep to a regular schedule. But as much as we can make it happen, let's start out with that."

"And us?"

"When your house is sold and you've signed divorce papers, we can figure out us."

His slight hesitation lets Ruth know that he doesn't much like that answer. Neither does she. But she's trying her best to, as she'd said, be smart about this. Though who's to say that as soon as he comes over at the weekend she won't melt into his arms and let him drag her to bed?


	8. Chapter 8

_Chapter Eight_

Ruth is a nervous wreck by the time Saturday comes around. She and Nelson had indeed talked on the phone the last two nights after he first suggested it on Wednesday. And it has been strangely wonderful. He asks her about her day and genuinely listens to what she says. She'd mentioned on Thursday that she had to give out term paper prompts for her summer class but was too tired to do it by the time they spoke. And the first thing he had asked her on Friday was whether she'd come up with her prompts. His attentiveness is remarkable and a little bit off-putting.

He thankfully doesn't just focus everything on her, which would annoy her to no end, if she's honest. Nelson tells her about his day at work as well. Complains about Cloughie constantly eating garbage all over the place. Gripes about Tanya being so ambitious to the point of madness. He can't tell her too much about his cases, not when she's not working on anything with him at the moment, but Ruth can tell that he's glad to vent about things to her. She wonders more than once whether he's ever had anyone to talk to like this before. And she's more than a little pleased that she can be the one to provide that gentle ear for him.

But now Saturday is here. They had agreed that Nelson would come over at eleven. Kate had been informed that her dad was going to spend the day with her, and she's over the moon about it. She's spent the last two days going on and on about everything she wants to show Dad and all the things she wants to do with him. After all, he's rarely ever spent time with her at the cottage before. It's always been more convenient for Ruth to bring her to Lynn and go out for ice cream or something like that. And him helping at bedtime on Tuesday has not been forgotten by Kate, not by a long shot. Ruth can tell she's getting her hopes up too high, but she cannot bring herself to pop that wonderfully optimistic bubble. There's every chance that things with Nelson won't work out. But if Ruth sets Kate up for disappointment in this, she may grow up to be as wary of good things as Ruth herself has become.

Nelson arrives a few minutes late, which is just as well for Ruth. She's not known what to wear. Stupidest thing, but she's feeling all befuddled about their new circumstances and she's not quite sure where she stands or what she's supposed to do. She ends up wearing gray soft trousers and a black top, which are her usual non-work clothes. Shapeless and comfortable, which is really what she looks for in life.

Kate is waiting by the window with Flint—who seems none too pleased to have her sharing his perch—and squeals excitedly when she sees the Mercedes pull up. "Dad's here!"

Thankfully, her daughter does not notice when Ruth makes a rather pathetic noise in response. She follows Kate out to the front porch. Kate knows better than to go tearing off down the road or to the saltmarsh and to stay on the front step no matter what. But Nelson is getting out of his car and waving hello with a smile. "Go on then," Ruth says, giving Kate a little nudge.

She tears off towards Nelson and takes a might leap into his arms while shouting, "Daddy!" with the most gleeful tone Ruth has possibly ever heard. She does not want to think too hard about that, the fact that Kate has never been so happy as when she's with her father. Though, in some ways, the same can be said for Ruth.

"Hallo, Katie!" Nelson says brightly. He kisses her on the cheek and holds her in his arms. "What do you want to do today?"

"Dad, I want to show you my Sylvanians, but we can do that later. It's sunny! Let's go to the beach!"

"Beach?" Nelson asked in slight confusion. "What beach?"

Ruth explains, "There's a small beach on the other side of the saltmarsh that I take her to when the weather's good."

"Let's go play on the beach, Dad! I can swim now!" Kate insists.

Over her shoulder, Nelson looks pointedly at Ruth, who makes a subtle gesture to inform him that Kate can nearly swim. Ruth will pack the arm floats for them.

The three of them walk into the house and Nelson agrees to take her to the beach.

"Yay!" Kate cheers. "I love the beach. Do you love the beach?"

Quite diplomatically, Nelson answers, "I haven't been to your beach before. I bet I'll love it."

"Kate, go put your swimming costume on and pick out the towel you want to bring. I'll pack the rest of your things for your dad," Ruth says.

"Hang on, Katie," Nelson says before his daughter can tear up the stairs. "Can Mum come with us to the beach?"

Such a thing obviously confuses her. She's never spent a whole day with her father. And she's never really spent much time with both of her parents together. Ruth typically drops Kate off for ice cream with Nelson, or else she sits on a bench in the park while Kate and Nelson play.

Kate just shrugs noncommittally and goes upstairs to get ready for her day on the beach. Ruth turns to Nelson. "Why do you want me to go?"

"Because I thought it would be nice to spend time all three of us. And after getting to talk to you all week, it would be good to get to spend some time with you, too," he tells her. "But if you've got things you want to do when the house is empty, I don't think Kate would be heartbroken if you stayed here. I mean, if you trust me to take her to the beach on my own."

"Of course I trust you to take her to the beach on your own, but it might be easier if I'm there. She claims she can swim, but I don't trust her in the currents. If she goes in, one of us should go with her, and I hope she'll let me put the floaters on her arms."

"So you'll come?" he asks with a strange tone of hopefulness.

"Yes," she replies with a soft smile. And it might be very nice, spending the day just the three of them. If it's terrible, then Ruth can hopefully get over her romantic notions and move on for both her and Nelson's sakes. And if it's wonderful…well…

Ruth realizes that Nelson is staring at her. He's got an expression on his face that she can't quite figure out.

"What?" she asks.

Her sharp question jolts him out of whatever reverie he'd been lost in. "No, nothing. I just…"

"Yes?"

"I dunno," Nelson shrugs. "I'm just glad to see you, I guess."

Ruth smiles at that. "Did you sleep any better last night?" Nelson has told her that he can't sleep by himself in the bed at the house, though he tries. He's ended up on the sofa at about two in the morning for the last few nights. He doesn't look overly tired, but maybe he carries it off well.

"I didn't bother going to bed last night. Just stayed on the sofa. Slept fine," he tells her.

"Well that's something, anyway."

He nods. "I'm going to call the estate agent on Monday. Clough offered to help find me someone, but I don't quite trust that."

Ruth agrees very much with that statement. Dave Clough is a great police officer and a good man, all things considered. But he seems like the sort of man who would hire someone based on what football team they support and not on actual qualifications.

"Anyway, Cathbad gave me the number for someone."

"Cathbad?"

Nelson chuckles slightly. "You know Cathbad. He's got friends of all sorts."

"I'm sure the estate agent will be perfectly good. But knowing Cathbad, I wouldn't assume the estate agent wears a suit or has any natural color of hair," Ruth warned.

The two of them share a laugh at that. As they do, Kate comes bounding down the stairs. She's wearing her favorite pink and green swimming costume and nothing else.

Ruth sighs, feeling every part the exasperated single mother. "Kate, you need to put your clothes on over. You know how far the walk to the beach is."

"I don't want to walk. Dad can drive us," she protests.

"No, Katie, we're going to walk. I want you to show me the way," Nelson tells her. "So listen to Mummy and get ready to go, alright?"

The gentleness of his words mixed with the gruffness of his voice were very persuasive for their daughter. Kate did not even open her mouth to argue. Ruth is quite amazed.

"You're so good with her," Ruth says softly.

Nelson smiles. "I like being a dad. The fun parts and the harder parts. I just haven't had much of a chance for it with Katie. But I mean it, Ruth, if I overstep…"

"No, you're alright," she says quickly. He might say that he wants her to tell him if he's gone over the line, but Ruth is rather certain she wouldn't ever say anything. Confrontation, particularly with Nelson and especially when it comes to Kate, is not something she at all relishes.

At last, they're ready to go. Kate takes her dad's hand and leads her down the path she takes with her mother. Ruth follows behind carrying the bag with all their things. Midway, however, Nelson offers to carry it for her. She does not deny him the opportunity. The thing is bloody heavy, and even a staunch feminist can get behind the idea that chivalry might not be dead. And, despite her feminist beliefs, Ruth feels herself absolutely melt at the image before her of Nelson holding hands with Kate and carrying a beach bag through the saltmarsh.

As they walk, Nelson notices the vista around him. He's never much liked the saltmarsh. The open emptiness is a bit creepy. At least, it's been that way whenever he's been to Ruth's in the past. There's something different about it today, though. Maybe it's the sunshine. The sea lavender is bright against the gray-green grasses and the little pools dotting the marsh sparkle brightly. The sky is so big, it might swallow them up. But it's not looming threateningly. It feels free, somehow. Maybe Nelson has just been cooped up alone in his house for too long this week.

He looks behind him to see Ruth walking a few feet back. He flashes a smile to her, which she returns. He loves it when she smiles. She's absolutely beautiful when she smiles. She's beautiful no matter what, in her unique way, but when she smiles…

"This way, Dad!" Katie says, pulling him over a bluff. He can finally see it now, the little beach Ruth had told him about. It does look quite nice. Warm and soft. The sand is coarse but not too rocky. Nelson is suddenly regretting his trainers and wants to take them off as soon as possible.

Ruth makes her way in front of them and climbs down the steep sand dune to a nice spot for them to set up. She takes a blanket from the bag Nelson's carried and lays it out on the sand. He can't help but notice and appreciate the way those soft trousers of hers get very tight around her bum when she bends over.

Kate listens to him when he tells her to put on the arm floaters. She lets him blow them up and put them on her arms as Ruth slathers her little body with sunblock.

"Mum, can I go now?" Kate whines.

"Yeah, Mum, can we go now?" Nelson asks in a teasing tone, taking off his shoes and socks in preparation for walking on the beach.

He can tell that it's all Ruth can do to keep from bursting out laughing. Kate is giggling at him, and he's smiling happily. He feels happier than he has in a long time.

"Dad needs sunblock, and then you can go," Ruth teases right back. "Come here, Kate, you can help your dad with his sunblock." She squirts some into Kate's little hands and has her rub them all over Nelson's face.

He's sputtering and shutting his eyes tight as she gets everything in his nose and mouth and eyes. To escape her, he stands up and wipes off the excess. "I think I'm protected enough from the sun, thanks."

Ruth is laughing at him now, and though his eyes are stinging and watering, he's able to see well enough to watch her, radiant in her joy. The sun is catching her brown hair and making it shine almost red. Her face is pink from laughter and her smile is utterly breathtaking. Even the sound of her laugh, something he's seldom ever heard, is beautiful. Not the most delicate, feminine sound, but a laugh like that wouldn't fit Ruth. Her laugh is undeniably her.

Nelson leaves Ruth on the blanket when he hurries to the water with Kate. He's not got a swimming costume, so he rolls up his trousers as far as he can. He would go swimming with her if he could, but as he's not got a change of clothes with him, this is the best he can do.

Kate is having a marvelous time. She's splashing and laughing and running around. Nelson had forgotten what it's like to have a child this age. She's an absolute marvel, their Katie. Everything about her just makes his heart explode with love. He had absolutely meant what he'd said to Ruth, that he enjoys being a father. And he does. He's so proud to be Katie's dad. And now with all the recent changes, he hopes to be able to stand up in front of the whole world and let everyone know that Kate Scarlett Galloway is his daughter. Well, first he'll have to stand up to his other two daughters and somehow let them know.

"Dad, look!"

Nelson turns to where Kate is pointing to show him a seagull, and he completely misses the roar of a wave that crashes down over them both. Kate pops right up, dripping wet and laughing. Nelson is still standing and now soaked from head to toe. He is not laughing.

From where she's watching, Ruth sees Kate and Nelson get hit by the wave. They both trudge up the beach back to her.

"Got a bit wet, did you?"

Nelson grumbles a little. But Kate is all smiles. "Mummy, can I have a towel and my sandwich now?"

Ruth is glad she's hurriedly packed a few sandwiches for them, knowing they'd not be back in time for a proper lunch. She passes the towel to Kate first. Nelson helps her dry off and wraps her up so her wet hair doesn't drip all over her body. Ruth then hands over the sandwich bag.

Once Kate is contentedly watching the seagulls and munching her sandwich, Nelson peels his shirt and vest from his body. He takes the extra towel and dries himself off. Ruth nearly has an aneurysm. His chest is covered in sparse hairs, some of them having gone quite gray at his age. And his belly is a little soft but the whole of him is solid and virile and maddeningly gorgeous.

"You alright, love?" he asks, seeing the rather shocked look on Ruth's face.

"I…yes…" she stammers.

"You sure?"

Ruth looks to where Kate is sitting, trying to be sure she's not listening. She swallows hard and turns back to Nelson. "You…I…I wasn't prepared for you to take your shirt off," she tells him quietly, feeling herself burn bright red with embarrassment.

Nelson grins with pride. "A pleasant surprise, then?"

She nearly chokes. "Yes. Very pleasant," she admits.

He leans in to whisper in her ear, "Wait till you see what I'm gonna do when you take your shirt off later."

And with that, all pretense of Nelson just spending the day with Kate goes right out the window. Nothing can happen till Kate is in bed asleep, but Ruth won't even pretend to have any sort of chaste relationship with Nelson. At least for tonight.


	9. Chapter 9

_Chapter Nine_

Later in the afternoon, after they have finished their sandwiches on the beach and packed everything up and trudged back to the cottage—Kate had insisted she was too tired, so Nelson carried her, something Ruth does not approve of at all—Ruth finds herself relegated to the kitchen while Nelson and Kate play in the living room.

The sounds of her daughter explaining her toys to her dad and Nelson's encouraging and confused responses are a delight to behold. Ruth periodically pops her head out of the kitchen just to watch them together.

Nelson has always seemed so big to her, like he fills every space. And when he stands up, he doesn't seem to fit in her small little house. But sitting on the floor with Kate like he is, he somehow seems to fit just fine. She can't say that he _belongs_ there just yet. And even if she feels like he does, he might find that he hates it. Right this moment, he might be desperate to escape the claustrophobia of Ruth's home. He's probably counting the seconds till he can politely tell Kate he's got to go. So much for his suggestive flirting. So much for the way they'd looked at each other on the beach. Nelson has never liked the saltmarsh and he wants to get back in his car and speed off into town as soon as humanly possible.

"What are you up to in here?"

Ruth whirls around from where she's chopping vegetables to see Nelson standing in the doorway. "Getting dinner started," she answers. Is her voice shaking? She thinks it might be. Oh god, this is a mistake!

But Nelson smiles and crosses toward her. "Kate's in the bathroom," he explains. "I'm pretty sure she's old enough to not need supervision?"

She nods, wary of what he's up to while their daughter is out of the room.

"Ruth?"

"Yes?"

"When I got here earlier, when Katie said she wanted to go to the beach…"

"Yes?" she says again.

Nelson furrows his brow. Is he…embarrassed? "I didn't know what to do while Katie was there."

"How do you mean?"

"After everything this week, talking on the phone and all, I don't know how we're supposed to act together."

"Oh." She hadn't expected him to say anything like that, but she's glad he did. She's been having the same sort of concerns. "Well, I think we act like we always have, right?"

"Well, I always had to stop myself from being to close to you before, Ruth. And I don't have to anymore. Unless you don't want me close to you."

She swallows hard, suddenly feeling extremely nervous over what's going on. "Depends on how close you want to be."

Nelson takes one more step forward. "The second I saw you today, I wanted to kiss you."

"You did?"

"Still do."

Ruth's heart might have skipped a beat at that. "Okay," is all she can manage to say.

Nelson leans in, but just before their lips touch, the toilet is flushed upstairs. Both Ruth and Nelson freeze. "Later," he whispers.

At that, Ruth just nods. The sound of Kate coming down the stairs pulls her back out of the haze. "Did you wash your hands?" Ruth calls out to her daughter.

Kate comes into the kitchen to see her parents a perfectly respectable distance apart. "I need help," she pouts.

Ruth gives her a narrow look, knowing full well she doesn't need help. But she lets Nelson take over and pick her up and help her at the kitchen sink. Jesus, is this what it's like to co-parent? Is this how Cathbad and Judy do things with Michael? Phil and Shona with Louis? Simon and Cathy with their boys? For the number of friends Ruth has with children, she realizes she's never really given much thought to how the reality of having two people working together to raise a child would actually go.

"Daddy, come see all my school things!" Kate announces. "We can play up in my room!"

"We shouldn't leave your mum all alone in the kitchen while she makes dinner. Maybe we should help," Nelson suggests to her.

Such a statement is truly shocking to Ruth, but she lets it pass, fascinated by what's going on.

"But I want to show you my school things," Kate whines.

Ruth instantly understands that Kate assumes that this is the only opportunity she will have to show her father her things. He's only ever been in her bedroom that one time on Tuesday when he put her to bed. Kate has no way of knowing that Nelson will be back. Though, to be fair, Ruth has no idea if Nelson will be back either.

"You two go on. Kate's very excited about starting primary school," Ruth says. "I've got Flint to keep me company down here."

"You're sure?" Nelson asks, hesitant to leave her. "I can't do anything to help?"

"If you really want to, you can do the washing up after dinner. Should be ready in about half an hour," Ruth tells him.

Nelson is perfectly content with that arrangement. He was rarely any help in the kitchen to Michelle. But that's just how things were in his house. His whole life, actually. His mother and his sisters and his wife and his daughters did all the cooking and cleaning. Nelson was there for the heavy lifting and to play sport and get dirty and pay for everything.

But Ruth's not like that. He knows she's not like that. And he wouldn't want her to be. Standing in the kitchen and watching her cook something had felt extremely odd. He's very used to her focusing on things, using tools and working diligently at whatever she's doing. But she just looks out of place in the kitchen. Nelson really had wanted to help her. He is rubbish at cooking and such, but maybe it might be fun to do that together. And, he's suddenly realizing, he's going to be living on his own now. He'd better start learning how to cook something soon.

When they get up to her bedroom, Kate sits Nelson down on her pink bed and starts rifling through her cupboard to find all the things Ruth's already bought her for school. Primary school already, imagine that! And of all things, _public_ primary school.

He still cannot believe that Ruth enrolled Kate in public school. She's an academic! She should know better about good education! They had this conversation about a month before, when Nelson emailed Ruth the websites for the private schools his older daughters had attended. But Ruth has been adamant that Kate not go to private school. Ruth hadn't gone to private school and neither had Nelson. But weren't they supposed to want better for their daughter? If the money was the issue, Nelson had offered and practically insisted on paying. But Ruth would hear none of it.

Now, though, seeing how excited Kate is to start at her new school and to wear her uniform—or what public school passes for a uniform—and meet new friends and learn new things, Nelson is excited for her. She's smart as a whip and cute as a button. All of which she gets from her mother, he's quite sure. Nelson wishes very much he could see more of himself in Katie. Though she's got his hair, even though his is mostly gray now, and that's got to count for something.

Before they know it, Ruth is calling them for dinner. Nelson has Kate put her things away—a request that very nearly causes an argument before he frowns at her just enough to head it off—and takes her to the bathroom so they can wash up.

Ruth has the kitchen table set for the three of them. She's made a very simple dinner for them of chicken strips and roasted veg. Kate, apparently, hates all vegetables except carrots. Ruth has put in some green beans and asparagus, but Kate won't eat a single bite of anything that isn't orange.

"It's probably not worth the screaming match," Ruth mutters to him as he tries to coax her into eating just one green item.

But Nelson is determined to put his parenting skills to the test. "Come on, Katie, can you take just one bite for me? And for Mum, actually. She worked so hard to cook something yummy for us. It's not nice to not at least try some of it."

Kate stared at him and he stared right back. It was a battle of wills with a four-year-old and Nelson would be damned if he was going to lose this. And then, miraculously, Kate stabs one green bean with her fork and with the edges of her teeth, she pulls off the tiniest little piece.

"I hate it!" she shrieks, gagging and spitting all over the place.

Nelson finds the reaction to be a bit over the top, but at least she did try it. That feels like a victory.

Ruth, however, just sighs. Clearly this is nothing new to her. "Eat the rest of your carrots, please," she tells Kate, ignoring the dramatic show.

As they finish up dinner, Kate requests ice cream and a Disney movie, since it's Saturday and Dad is here and they should do something special. Nelson does not want to argue with that plan, but he defers to Ruth.

She deliberates for a moment and finally comes to a solution. "If you take your bath and get ready for bed, you can have a choc-ice while we watch the movie. But you'll have to brush your teeth and go right to bed after," Ruth tells her.

"Okay!" Kate replies excitedly. "Can Daddy help with bathtime again?"

"I promised Mummy I'd help with the dishes," Nelson reminds her, not wanting to shirk his duty to Ruth.

But Ruth just gives a soft smile. "We can do the dishes later. Go help with bathtime. I've got to feed Flint and put the food away."

Katie is, once again, very cooperative with her bath. She's a funny little thing. Very shrewd operator. Maybe she'll become a barrister one day. Jesus wept. Though if she's in public school that hardly seems likely.

The next thing Nelson knows, he is sitting on Ruth's sofa, eating a choc-ice for the first time in longer than he can remember, and watching the beginning of Frozen. Kate, in her pink pajamas, hums along to all the songs as she sits snuggled between her parents. Ruth is close enough to Nelson that he could reach out and touch her, but he resists for the time being. Flint the cat has finished his supper and hops up on the armchair beside the sofa, staring at Nelson like the intruder he is. Nelson does his best to ignore the cat and just watch the movie. He knows Katie loves this movie, but he's never actually seen it.

About half an hour later, Nelson feels a nudge against his shoulder. He turns to see Ruth smiling, and she nods down to Kate. Their daughter is fast asleep, her head slumped against his chest. He hadn't even noticed that she'd dozed off. The movie was quite entertaining, and he was just enjoying having a little cuddle with his daughter.

"Shall I put her to bed?" Nelson asks softly. "I can carry her if you want."

Ruth nods and whispers, "If she wakes up, have her brush her teeth. But if she stays asleep, we can just tuck her in."

As gently as he can, Nelson shifts to scoop Katie up in his arms. She flops against his shoulder as Nelson stands up and carries her, cradling her against him like the precious little thing she is. Ruth follows them up the stairs and pulls back the bedsheets so he can put Kate down. She tucks her in and kisses her forehead while whispering goodnight. Nelson does the same.

The two of them stand there for a moment, with only the glow of Kate's Dora the Explorer nightlight to illuminate the room. Ruth leans her head against Nelson's shoulder while they watch their daughter slumber.

All Nelson wants to do is fold Ruth up in his arms and hold her and kiss her and take her across the landing to her bed. But all in good time. "We'd best do those dishes," he murmurs.

Ruth stands up straight and nods. They close Kate's door behind them and go back downstairs.


	10. Chapter 10

**Author's Note: M-rating for this chapter**

_Chapter Ten_

They do the dishes. Nelson rinses for Ruth to load in the dishwasher. He washes the pots and pans and Ruth dries and puts them away. And when he's finished the last one, he dries his hands quickly and says her name in a low tone.

She turns. "Yes?"

And his lips are on hers. He gathers her into his arms and his hands wander her body, unable to remain fixed on any one part of her. Ruth groans into his mouth upon feeling the fire and passion in his kiss that she's longed for these last four years of chastity and civility.

"God, Ruth, I want you so much," he growls, letting his lips travel down her neck.

Ruth gasps, "Yes!" But she forces herself to pull away.

Nelson is breathing heavily. His dark eyes are blown wide with desire and he looks a bit wild. And Ruth absolutely loves it.

"Upstairs," she tells him breathlessly. "And we have to be quiet."

Nelson momentarily wonders if they can manage that, as he wants nothing more than to make her scream and to shout from the rooftops of his want of her, but he knows that in even considering taking him to bed, Ruth is granting him a miraculous liberty. He nods. He'll adhere to her rules.

Ruth takes his hand and leads him up the steep stairs. They pass the cutout of Star Trek's Bones and silently walk past Kate's room. Ruth's heart is thundering in her chest as she tries to wrap her head around all of this. Nelson wants her. He's told her so. He's kissed her in a way that guarantees that he wants her. And good god does she want him! She's always wanted him. That much has been extremely evident. Regardless of their differences of opinions and his marital status and whatever else, Ruth has always been extremely attracted to Nelson. She tries not to think about it, particularly when they're working, but she always wants him, sexually. Their first night together when Kate was conceived was extremely good. Some of the most intense sex she's ever had, actually. They had both been emotional and in desperate need to feel comfort and pleasure, and they'd both managed that rather well. The second time, too, they were emotional and full of pent-up feeling to be released, and Ruth got quite a good release from that.

Now, though, now was different. Nelson is truly married in name only. That, Ruth doesn't want to contemplate for the moment. But he does not need to make excuses to Michelle for tonight. He has been with her and Kate all day, integrating himself into their little family, and so far fitting in very well. And now Kate is asleep and Ruth has Nelson all to herself for the first time ever. And they have all night.

As soon as Ruth closes the door behind them, Nelson begins kissing her again. It is slower, this time. He's caressing her body very purposefully now. One hand tangles in her hair to cradle her head, the other trails down her back to move over her bum and then up the front of her top. She's doing her best to stay quiet, but she cannot help but whimper into his mouth just a little, particularly when his tongue tangles with hers in the most intoxicating manner.

He ends the kiss in order to pull her top off. He smiles. "Christ, you're beautiful," he breaths.

Ruth blushes and cannot respond. She does not meet his eyes when he says that. She hates to hear anyone say it, particularly Nelson. But that's a problem for another time. She instead focuses very intently on taking his shirt off of him as well and unbuckling his belt.

Nelson places his hands gently on her waist and backs her onto the bed. She sits down and looks up at him, trying not to think about what her stomach looks like in this position. He leans in to kiss her again and unclasp her bra, tossing it to join the pile of their clothes.

He looks down at her bare breasts and swallows hard. He hooks his thumbs into the waistband of her soft trousers and knickers. Ruth shifts to allow him to take them off her. She then does the same with his shorts. He smirks with pride to see her eyes darken with desire as his erection springs forth. And how could she not be impressed? She always seems to forget just how impressive he really is.

"Lie back," he instructs softly. Ruth pulls the sheets back and tosses them over the edge. Nelson follows her, climbing onto the bed and hovering above her naked body. Nelson kisses her deeply but soon moves down her jaw to her neck, smiling against her skin to hear her breathy moans.

Ruth feels her whole body alight with electric desire. The feel of his lips and hands caressing her is more than she can recall. His big hands cover her breasts, squeezing them, rolling her nipples between his fingers, making her arch against him and gasp and the tingling she feels.

Nelson is overwhelmed with the sheer luxury of this, to be able to take his time and to really explore every bit of Ruth. The curves of her body, the softness of her, he adores it all. He's had occasion in the past to think about why he feels this way for her. The other women he's been with have never been like Ruth. And maybe that's part of it. But he was attracted to Ruth from the beginning due to her genius. She's brilliant and capable and an expert in her field. And to contrast that with her lovely smile, her full breasts, the pillow of her hips and thighs, it's sometimes more than he can bear to think about. He wants all of her. He wants to touch her and feel her and never, ever stop. And now he can have his fill for the first time.

They'd not had this opportunity to explore before. The sex had been good those last times but it had been rushed and messy and overflowing with passion more than anything else. Not so, now. Oh there is passion to be sure. Nelson's moved one hand over her belly and down between her legs. His tongue is swirling over her breasts as his fingers trace her folds and feel her get wetter and wetter. He sucks hard on the curve of her breast, rewarded by a sharp gasp, and he moves to the other, dragging his teeth over her skin. He slips one finger inside her and she whispers, "Oh god, Nelson!"

He takes his time, touching her and feeling her and learning what she likes, what makes her shiver with desire and bite her lip to keep from crying out. He adds a second thick finger to thrust inside her, delighting in the way she flutters around him. His mouth is hard at work on her breast, surely leaving marks and loving it. She is his now, finally. Nelson wants to leave his mark on her skin as she has left her mark on his very soul.

But he forces himself to move forward. His cock is aching, and he's grinding his hips against the mattress to relieve some of the tension. Nelson takes his hand away, smirking as she whines in disappointment. But he does not leave her wanting for long. He moves down to settle himself between her legs, kissing and nipping up her inner thighs. She's writhing in anticipation and Nelson cannot help his proud growl, knowing he's worked up so well.

His lips suck on her hard. His tongue laps up her juices. His whole mouth caresses and probes her in all the ways that tear her to pieces. It doesn't take more than a minute for her to crash over the edge. Ruth's thick thighs tighten around his ears as her back arches off the bed. Nelson pries her legs apart so he can put three fingers inside her this time to prolong and intensify her orgasm. Ruth is panting and making little noises that are making him ready to explode, and it's all more than he can take.

"Ruth," he groans, climbing back up on top of her. She's breathing heavily and blinks her eyes open to look at him. She smiles and wraps her legs around his waist, encouraging him to take her.

Nelson lines himself up at her entrance and pushes in slowly, allowing her to adjust to his length. Her body is still quivering from the last orgasm. Nelson hisses as he tries his damnedest to keep himself together. He leans down to kiss her, to prevent himself from moving, to try to make this last. He wants to savor her, feel her, all of her.

When Ruth pulls away to catch her breath, she shifts her hips with a tiny moan. Nelson sets a steady pace to thrust into her over and over. She gazes up at him. His curling gray hair is sticking to his face with sweat. His face is a bit glossy from when he was going down on her. His brow is furrowed with his efforts. She wonders again briefly if he feels at home here. Here on the saltmarsh, here in her cottage, here between her legs. She hopes he does. She wants him to find a home here.

Without even fully realizing what she's doing, Ruth hums with pleasure and pushes his hair off his face before gripping his arms. "Nelson, my Nelson," she murmurs.

He speeds up with little warning, pounding into her. Ruth likes it like this, being dominated and feeling the hard power of a man during sex. Nelson's powerful body has always been everything she wants. And even now, she wants to cry out, but she can't. She pulls him back in for another kiss, to muffle her moans against his lips. She's close, so close…she digs her nails into his shoulders as he's hitting so hard and so deep, she thinks she might end up with bruises. His pace falters as he comes, sending her right over the edge after him.

Their kiss breaks apart as they both gasp for air. Nelson rolls off her. Ruth collapses against the pillows. They're both utterly exhausted. Her heart is pounding. And she feels so light and beautiful. Two things she has rarely, if ever, felt in all her life.

Ruth rolls over to rest her cheek on his chest. Neither of them says a single word as they doze off. Nelson's hand trails over her bare back and rests on the curve of her bum. Before he slips to sleep, he turns his head to kiss her hair.


	11. Chapter 11

_Chapter Eleven_

Nelson wakes up in the dark. It takes him a moment to remember where he is. He's naked and lying in Ruth's bed and Ruth herself is…where is Ruth? He sits up, rubbing his eyes. The clock on her bedside table says that it is just past two in the morning.

The bedroom door opens and Ruth sneaks inside, closing the door softly behind her. She's wearing a ratty blue bathrobe and probably—hopefully—nothing else. It's nothing special, but Nelson can tell that it's something she's comfortable in. Which is nearly always the case for Ruth and something he inexplicably finds endearing.

"There you are," he says softly. His voice is hoarse from disuse.

She sits on the bed beside him. "Sorry, I needed a pee," she whispers back. "I didn't mean to wake you."

"No, you didn't. But I woke up and you were gone."

"I'm back now," she answers.

She's suddenly nervous, he can tell, and he's not sure why. "Everything alright?" he asks warily.

"Fine," she replies, forcing a smile.

Nelson can barely see her face in the darkness. The moon gives off light outside the bedroom window, but otherwise everything is pitch black. That's the way of the saltmarsh. It's what he's never liked about Ruth living alone with Katie out here. It's so empty and dark and creepy. Earlier, when they'd walked to the beach in the sunshine, he'd not minded it so much. Now, though, it's dark and ominous. Dark enough to be suffocating.

"Are you okay?" Ruth asks when Nelson doesn't answer her.

He forces a smile of his own. "Take that thing off and come back to bed."

But Ruth hesitates. "I should probably…"

"Probably what?"

She chews her lip. "Get dressed?"

Nelson falters at that. "Are you cold? I can keep you warm," he suggests.

"You don't have to," she tells him. What is that, modesty? Self-consciousness? He can't quite tell.

"Do you want me to go, Ruth?" he asks, feeling like perhaps she'd be more comfortable if he wasn't there. He desperately hopes she won't make him leave. He doesn't want to leave. He doesn't want to leave her bed yet. And he desperately does not want to go out into the crippling darkness outside to drive that lonely road to the empty house that no longer feels like home.

Ruth is chewing on her lips again. "You can go if you want to."

"I don't want to," he answers quite quickly. "But I don't want to stay if you'd rather I weren't here. I can sleep on the sofa again, if you want. I'll be gone at first light."

Her gaze falls to her lap.

"Ruth, tell me what you want," he asks, a little firmer.

She looks up at him. "I…I don't know. What do you want?"

Nelson has a feeling she does know what she wants but doesn't want to tell him. He won't push back on that too much for now. Mostly because they've had incredible sex just a few hours ago and he does not want to ruin their evening. "I don't want to go yet," he tells her. "I want you to take off that robe and get back to bed so we can sleep a little while longer. I know I shouldn't be here when Katie wakes up, and that's fine. This…this wasn't planned. I didn't come over here today to end up in your bed, Ruth. But I'm not sorry I am."

"I'm not sorry either," she assures him quickly.

He can't help but smile just a bit. "I think you enjoyed yourself, eh?"

If there were more light, Nelson is sure he would be able to see Ruth blushing bright red. She doesn't say a word.

"Come back to bed, Ruth," he softly pleads.

There are not many times Nelson has ever used that tone with her, and she loves it. And as much as she despises the entire idea of it, she does what he asks. She stands to shed her robe, turning away from him and then immediately getting under the covers, hoping beyond hope that it is too dark for him to see her fat, lumpy body. It's one thing when they're both too aroused to see straight. It's quite another to just be naked in front of him.

Nelson does not waste a second before pulling her into his arms. He presses gentle kisses on her cheek and neck as his hands wander her body under the covers. She shivers from the cold sheets and his hot touch in equal measure.

"I don't think I can manage another round," she tells him honestly but absolutely hating the truth of it. But she also fully recognizes that he wouldn't be wanting her in bed and touching her like this if he didn't want more sex.

He chuckles and his breath tickles her neck. "Me neither," he replies, pressing another kiss to her skin. "Go to sleep, Ruth," he tells her.

Such a thing is truly astounding. She had hoped so much to find him asleep when she got back from the bathroom. Waking up with a full bladder and feeling a bit messy from sex to find his hand resting quite contently on her bum had been something of a shock. She'd gone to relieve herself and get cleaned up and just wanted to go back to sleep. With him. Just to have him here in bed with her, not having to speak or think. But he'd been awake and she had not known what to do.

But now they are in bed together again and he is very much awake and all over her. How he expects her to sleep like this, she has no idea. And she tells him so. "I don't normally sleep on my back," she explains.

The thought of that seems to amuse him somehow. "Then how do you normally sleep?" he asks.

"On my side or on my stomach."

Nelson scoots slightly away from her. "You get comfortable, love."

"And what are you going to do?" she asks, slightly confused at his intentions here.

"I just want to hold you."

The simple earnestness of his voice is something quite astounding. It nearly overwhelms her, that sincerity. Ruth has no idea what to say to it or how to react. "You…you do?"

"Yes," is all he says in return.

Ruth rolls over onto her side, heart thundering as she waits to see what Nelson will do. He waits till she's settled, and then wraps himself around her. She can feel his bare chest against her back. There's a slight tickle from his chest hair that feels indescribably nice. His strong arms hold her in his embrace and his hand rests on her arm.

"Alright?" he whispers.

She just nods. They let the silence fall between them as their breathing matches up, soft and slow and deep. But Ruth's mind is still whirling. "Nelson?"

"Hmm?" He sounds like he might be nearly asleep, something that confuses her slightly. Is he just exhausted? Or is he actually comfortable enough to be able to drift off just like this? Such a thing seems highly unlikely.

But Ruth presses on with what she'd wanted to say. "You said you didn't plan on ending up in my bed tonight, but…I did."

"Did you?"

"I thought about it the other night when you asked to come over and we decided against it."

"You decided against it."

"But you agreed."

"Well I wasn't going to insist on it, was I?"

He was right about that. Ruth could not imagine Nelson doing such a thing, trying to pressure her into sex or anything like that. She let the issue lie. "I've wanted to do this again for a long time."

Nelson presses a kiss to her bare shoulder. "Me too."

"It was different this time," she noted.

He scoffs slightly. "I should hope so. I've never gotten to take my time with you before."

"And you wanted to?"

"Wouldn't have done it if I didn't want to, Ruth. And everything we've done today, the beach and the dinner and the movie with Katie and then everything else after we kissed in the kitchen. I've wanted all of that with you for a long time."

Ruth pulled his arms a bit tighter around her, trying to hold onto this desperate and surreal reality in which she is finding herself. "Me too," was all she could manage to say.

Nelson kissed her once again. "Good. Now go to sleep, love."


	12. Chapter 12

_Chapter Twelve_

Ruth wakes up alone. She had known she would; Nelson promised to be gone before Kate woke up. And he is gone. Ruth thinks she remembers him kissing her and whispering goodbye, but she can't be sure. She did not even hear his car drive off.

She gets up and wakes up Kate with the promise of pancakes. "Where's Dad?" she asks immediately.

"He's at his house like always," Ruth reminds her. She does not want Kate to get used to having Nelson around all the time. Not yet. It's only the first full day he's spent with them. Neither Kate nor Ruth can get their hopes up just yet, even though Nelson had said all the right, wonderful, perfect things when they were wrapped up in bed the night before.

She briefly wonders what Nelson does on Sunday mornings. Surely it was something like this when his older daughters were little. Did Michelle make pancakes? Now that the girls are out of the house, does Nelson insist on a full English fry-up on Sundays? He seems the sort to want something like that. Ruth has never been a very good cook. Michelle is a wonderful cook. Michelle is wonderful at most things. And yet Michelle is gone and Nelson had spent last night in Ruth's bed.

But Ruth puts all of that out of her mind and gets herself and her daughter out of bed and into the kitchen for pancakes.

"What should we do today?" Ruth asks Kate as they eat breakfast.

"Can we go to the playground?" Kate asks in return.

There's a park in King's Lynn that they've gone to with Nelson before. It's near the police station, so it's easy for him to meet them and play with Kate for an hour or so before going back to work. But they won't be meeting Nelson today. Too much too soon, Ruth thinks. But the park would be a nice idea. "I think that would be fun. Shall I see if Michael and Cathbad want to come join us?"

"Yes!" Kate cheers. She loves Michael, Ruth knows. And Ruth could use a friend to talk to now, and Cathbad is strangely the only person who might be understanding through all of this.

And so, two hours later, Ruth finds herself sitting on a park bench beside Cathbad as they watch their children playing on the swings.

"The spirits are whispering about you, Ruthie," Cathbad states, as though that is a perfectly acceptable thing to say to a person on a sunny Sunday in the park.

"Are they now?" she replies facetiously. Usually she's much more tolerant of Cathbad's druid proclivities, but that opening remark has annoyed her.

Cathbad just hums knowingly. "And I think it was probably your idea for Michael to distract Kate so you and I could talk. So why don't you talk?" he prompts.

She sighs. That sixth sense of his is always so spot on. It's eerie, if she thinks about it too much. "Has Judy told you about Nelson?" Ruth asks, needing to know how much he already knows.

"She had breakfast with him earlier in the week. I know he's going through something, but Judy did not volunteer anything to me about it. And I would not pressure her to tell me more than she was willing to offer when it comes to Nelson. They've got a very special relationship."

Ruth nods. It's true, Judy and Nelson do have a strong bond at work and now in the striking similarities between their personal lives. Which puts Ruth in the same position as Cathbad. What a thing to think. "Michelle left," she tells Cathbad bluntly.

Cathbad is not surprised by this information. "It was only a matter of time. And good for her, too."

"How do you figure?"

"She and Nelson are poorly matched. They both deserve to be happier than they've been. They're good people. But they did not have a good marriage," he says wisely.

"I always thought they had the perfect marriage," Ruth offers quietly. And it's the truth, she had always seen Michelle and Nelson as the perfect, happy couple. It was what made her pathetic love for Nelson nothing more than a sad fantasy that would never, ever come true.

Cathbad gives her a knowing little smile. "People used to say that about Judy and Darren."

That cuts right to the heart of it, Ruth knows. Nelson and Michelle, like Judy and Darren, had met when they were young and fallen in love and grown up and grown apart. Only Judy had found Cathbad relatively soon in life. Nelson's nearly fifty. He's had a whole life with Michelle. And now with her gone, he's having to start all over.

"Nelson and Michelle have history between them," Cathbad continues. "They've been together a long time. But knowing a person for a long time does not equate to knowing them well. And it does not equate to loving them as they deserve. For all the years Darren knew Judy, he never knew her soul the way I did upon first meeting her. Judy and I, we were fated to be together. And you and Nelson are just the same."

"How could you possibly know that?" Ruth asks in disbelief.

"The spirits have been whispering."

Neither of them says anything else on the matter. Ruth had wanted to tell Cathbad that Nelson had stayed over last night, that he said he wanted to be with her, that she was so in love with him and so desperately afraid of it all at once. But Ruth does not say any of that. Enough has been said for now. Cathbad and Ruth just sit quietly and watch as his son and her daughter laugh and play.

Not far away, Nelson is having a far less pleasant time. He had gotten home in the small hours of morning after leaving Ruth's just as the sun came up. Thank god it was summertime and dawn came early. He still desperately did not want to be out in the saltmarsh when it was dark. Perhaps he'd get used to it eventually. But he had no affection for that place when the sunshine had left it.

It was Sunday, which would have usually meant a fry-up from Michelle. No such luck today. Or ever again. Michelle was gone. And Nelson really did need to learn how to cook something. He couldn't eat fast food like Cloughie did; Nelson does not have the metabolism of his sergeant. And he will starve trying to live off of crisps and cold cuts left in the fridge.

Thankfully, the phone rings before he can get really desperate about what to eat. The Caller ID flashes a familiar name. Michelle is calling. "Hello?" he answers warily.

"I didn't wake you, did I?" she asks, not bothering to greet him.

"No, I've been up for a while," he tells her. He does not tell her that he's been up for a while because he drove home after sleeping with Ruth.

Michelle continues, "I wanted to tell you that I'm going to call Laura and Rebecca today. I'm going to tell them about the divorce and that they need to arrange with you to get their things. Have you found an estate agent yet?"

"I'm calling one tomorrow," he tells her.

She pauses on the line. "Harry, I don't think this is going to go very well."

"I don't think so either," he agrees. "But it's got to be done. Sooner rather than later. Do you want me to be on the line when you call?" As soon as the words leave his mouth, he regrets them. He does not want to be anywhere near this conversation.

"Oh god, Harry, would you please?" Michelle pleads.

He's stuck with it now, he knows. "Sure."

"I think that would be best. I want the girls to know that we're agreed on this. And it's no one's fault. And we don't hate each other, and it's going to be alright. That's right, isn't it?"

"Yes, that's right," he answers softly. And it is right. It is going to be alright. He and Michelle don't hate each other. Though it certainly is more Nelson's fault than Michelle's. But if she wants to shoulder some of that blame, he won't stop her.

"But I don't think we should mention Kate yet."

Nelson agrees with this, but it strikes him that Michelle has very specifically chosen to evade Ruth's name. Probably better that way. "Alright," he replies. He's going to have to find a way to tell Laura and Rebecca about their younger sister in his own way. Maybe Ruth can help with that. But she's not really got any background in anything like that, has she? Who did she have to tell when Kate came along? So far as Nelson can recall, she's always just told anyone that she and Kate's father aren't together. And that's the truth. Or rather, it was. After last night, Nelson truly hopes that it won't be the truth for much longer. He's only been away from Ruth for a few hours, and he already misses her. It had been so bloody wonderful to fall asleep next to her and wake up with her there and kiss her as he got out of bed. He had not wanted to leave her, but he knew he had to. He'd promised not to be around when Kate woke up. But maybe one day soon, he won't have to sneak out of the house at first light.

"They're going to be so upset," Michelle laments.

Nelson is brought back to the conversation at present. "Probably. But people get divorced all the time. Loads of their friends' parents got divorced, right?"

"I always thought we were different," she says quietly.

"Things changed, love," he tells her gently.

He thinks he can hear Michelle smile through the phone. "You know, I will always love you, Harry."

"I love you, too," he says. And he means it. He does love her. Always has and always will. Not in the way married people should love each other, not in the way he's fairly certain he's fallen in love with Ruth.

And that, more than anything else, is why Michelle is gone and Nelson is ready to take this next step in moving on with their lives.


	13. Chapter 13

_Chapter Thirteen_

Nelson hangs up the cordless phone and tosses it on the sofa beside him. He feels…he's not sure how he feels. Certainly not good. Perhaps the full brunt of it will hit him later. Christ, maybe he'll even cry over it.

For the fact that he's not doubled over weeping right now must mean that something is very wrong with him. The amount of absolute hatred his daughters directed towards him was worse than he'd ever imagined possible.

Michelle had told Rebecca and Laura that she'd moved out and was staying with their grandmother in Blackpool, and she and their father were getting a divorce. And Rebecca had reacted first. "What did you do!?" she snarled at him.

But Michelle, for what it was worth, did her best to defend him. "It's not anything anyone did," she told the girls. "It was time. We've not been happy in a long time."

"Yes you have!" Laura protested tearfully.

That had surprised Nelson. He's always been closer to Rebecca than Laura, between the two of them. Rebecca had been at least mildly interested in sport as a child. Laura was all princesses and ballerinas and pink sparkles from the moment she was born; Michelle's girl all the way. Rebecca had gotten much girlier and more interested in television and instant messaging when she was about twelve. And now that she's eighteen, she's just as much a girl's girl as her mother and sister. But it is Laura, not Rebecca, who reacts with concern rather than anger.

On and on the conversation went. Laura crying, wondering what was happening to the family. Rebecca yelling, blaming her father for every rotten thing that has ever happened.

"Don't defend him, Mum! It's all his fault!" she'd accused.

Nelson did not have the words to protest. Because perhaps it was all his fault. He was the one who had cheated. He was the one who had fallen in love with someone else. Not Michelle. Michelle had always been perfect. Beautiful and kind and perfect. And what sort of man does it make Nelson that he's more than happy to let her go?

By the time they all hung up, Rebecca had been crying as much as Laura and the both of them had cursed him for ruining all their lives. Rebecca had hung up on them first, followed very quickly by a sobbing Laura.

There was silence on the line. "Harry?" came Michelle's voice.

"Yeah?"

"I'll talk to them," she assured.

"Yeah." And with that, Nelson had hung up too.

And now he's sitting on the sofa, all alone, wondering what in the bloody hell he's done to deserve all this. He glances at his watch and sees that it's barely noon. Twelve hours ago, he had been wrapped around Ruth. Lovely, brilliant, wonderful Ruth. If he closes his eyes, he can almost smell her hair. Strange, that he's never really noticed a thing like that before. Michelle's always had perfect blonde hair, always with a million floral scented products, always looking perfect; she's a hairdresser, so it only makes sense. But Nelson's never missed the smell of her like he misses Ruth now. Maybe it's just because he feels rotten and alone. He's in need of comfort. And after one of the best nights he's ever had after the day with Ruth and Kate and being part of their lives, he feels more keenly what he's missing out on right now.

That thought makes Nelson get up off the sofa. He goes into the kitchen to get a beer from the fridge and takes it upstairs to his study. He puts the football game on the telly and lets it play in the background as he gets on his computer and begins to do a bit of research. Enough is enough.

Ruth, meanwhile, is trying to prepare her tutorial for Wednesday. She knows what she's teaching and she knows what she'd assigned in the syllabus. But summer classes are much more difficult; the students aren't really very interested in working too hard over the summer and aren't as engaged in the material. She's assigned more reading than she really wants to cover in the lecture, so she's got to figure out what salient points to have for discussion.

Kate, on the other hand, is hard at work creating masterful narratives for her Sylvanians. The imagination on that child is simply too much for Ruth sometimes. She remembers being more interested in rules, how things were supposed to go, curious over how the world worked. Ruth was not a fanciful child like Kate is. Kate makes her own rules. She knows just how she wants things and makes them happen. Was Nelson like that as a child? Ruth wonders about him as a young boy, if he was all rough and tumble or if he was sensitive and imaginative, whether he had always been like he is now or if he grew into that gruff personality that she's come to adore.

And speak of the devil, Ruth's phone sounds with a text message notification, and she is embarrassed by how delighted she is that it's Nelson.

_I miss you_, is what he's written.

Her heart skips a beat, but she forces herself to remain sensible. Such a thing is difficult when dealing with Nelson, but it's made nearly impossible when he right there with her. Surely over text messages Ruth can keep her head. _You just saw me,_ she replies.

_A lot's happened since then._

Now Ruth is quite curious. It was just after lunch. What could have happened in just the morning hours? _Oh? _She writes back.

_Michelle and I told the girls._

Her heart skips a beat for a very different reason this time. _Did it go alright?_

_No_, is all he says. But then another message comes in quickly. _And I'm looking for a lawyer now. Tomorrow I'll call an estate agent and a divorce lawyer._

_You sure you're not moving too fast?_ she asks, still trying to remain sensible.

_Michelle left. We told the girls. And all this is going to be a nightmare. I want to get it moving so we can get it over with and all go on with our lives._

Ruth tries not to read too much into that. _It'll be good to have a fresh start_, she reasons.

_I just want to be with you, Ruth. As soon as we can make it work. After last night, I know for sure_.

Her whole being freezes at that. How can Nelson know for sure? It was one night! One wonderful, incredible, perfect night. But still just one night. And if he's so sure, why is she not? _Let's talk tomorrow night_, she suggests. _Before bed like we did last week?_

_Good_, he replies.

And with that, Ruth puts her mobile face down on the table. She tries in vain to get back to her lesson plan, but her mind is elsewhere. Her mind is on Nelson. How is he so sure he wants to be with her? And why on earth would he ever want to be? Ruth knows she's plenty smart and useful to Nelson in his police work. And she knows she's not bad in bed. At least, she's never had men be unhappy to have sex with her. Nelson had certainly enjoyed himself in the times they'd been together. But really truly being with someone. Sharing a life together. Ruth honestly could not fathom why anyone, especially Nelson, would want that with. Ruth is not kind and gentle and beautiful and domestic. She is not the kind of woman most men wanted to be with for any length of time. No, Ruth is instead fat and reclusive and independent and opinionated. She is difficult, she knows. Not that she's argumentative; in fact, she is extremely uncomfortable with confrontation. But rather than getting in arguments, Ruth will snap and then retreat into herself and avoid the issue. It isn't healthy and she knows it, and she's quite pleased that Kate does not seem to have inherited that quality from her.

Ruth looks through the kitchen door to where her daughter is playing. She's gotten so big. It's hard to believe she'll be starting school in just over two months. The time has flown by. Far too quickly.

"Kate?" she calls out, interrupting her child at play.

She turns to look at her mother questioningly.

"You're wonderful, you know that?"

Kate beams. "Yes, Mummy."

"I love you, Kate."

"I love you, too, Mummy."

Kate goes right back to her games and Ruth turns back to her work. And she smiles, because no matter what else is wrong with her, being an overweight recluse with few attractive qualities, Ruth has Kate. She's got a daughter she adores, a daughter who is growing up wonderfully, a daughter who is _hers_ no matter what. And really, that's all that matters.


	14. Chapter 14

_Chapter Fourteen_

Ruth is nervous for Nelson to call on Monday evening. She and Kate have had a lovely day together. Since it's summertime, she does not have class every day which also means she does not need to leave Kate with Sandra, the childminder, every day. They had eggs for breakfast and played out in the small garden of the house with a big bouncing ball that Kate likes nowadays. It is pink and it has Dora the Explorer's face on it, so obviously Kate loves it. Flint had stalked around the garden and kept himself up on the fence and out of reach. Kate ran around with the ball and Ruth sat on the grass and gave it a kick or a throw when it came near her. If the game had rules, Kate did not feel the need to share them with her mother.

And now, after a morning in the garden and an afternoon drawing pictures at the table in the living room while watching Frozen (again), Kate has had her bath and gone to sleep, and Ruth is now sitting on the sofa with a glass of wine and Flint sitting on her lap. She stares at the phone in her hand, wondering when he will call and wondering if she should be the one to call him. Though she certainly does not do that. He is still technically married, and Ruth swore to herself very early on in knowing Nelson that as much as she pathetically and desperately wanted him, she would not ever be the one to make that move. And even with the new state of affairs in his life with Michelle gone, he is still a DCI in the Serious Crimes Unit, and that meant for long and unpredictable hours. There has not been anything in the news about missing persons or homicides or whatever else that would have been likely to land on Nelson's desk, but what does she know?

She is also concerned about whether he did in fact get in touch with a lawyer and an estate agent as he'd said he was going to. And depending on how that went, whether he wouldn't call her as a result. Suppose the reality of selling the house where he'd raised his children and been a happy family put him off the idea altogether? Suppose the lawyer said something to startle him into calling Michelle and begging her to come back? Or, horror of horrors, he really was still as keen on making a new start in life and having Ruth and Kate be a part of it as he'd been on Saturday night when he'd held her in his arms?

As she contemplates all these things, the phone rings, making her startle. Flint is quite displeased by the interruption and hops off to sit somewhere else where he won't be so rudely disturbed. And Ruth very quickly answers the phone. "Hello?"

"God it's good to hear your voice."

Her heart skips a beat hearing him say that. "Rough day?" she asks, not daring to explore his words too much further.

"Get this," Nelson says, "Cloughie, of all people, gave me cooking advice today."

Ruth cannot imagine such a thing and gives a small laugh. "Whatever for?"

"Well, he overheard me ask Judy about what sorts of things I could learn how to cook, and Clough starts talking about chopping up bangers and putting it in macaroni with cheese sauce. And I'll tell you, if that's what his mother fed him, it's no wonder he lives on McDonalds and his brother's in and out of prison. Jesus wept," he groans.

"Why would he possibly bring that up when you asked Judy about cooking?"

"Oh, well…" Nelson sounds slightly nervous all of a sudden. "Well, I need to learn how to cook for myself, obviously, since I don't want to live off the chippy now I'm on my own, but I was asking Judy what sort of things kids like to eat."

"Kids?"

"Yeah, I wanted to ask you what Katie's favorite foods are. I want to learn how to cook for her."

Such words coming from Nelson's mouth were so unexpected, Ruth nearly wants to cry. How is it that a man who flouts traffic laws and catches hardened criminals for a living and wants nothing more than a can of beer and a football game on his day off could possibly be so incredibly sweet?

On the other end of the line, Nelson waits a bit nervously while Ruth is silent. "Erm…Ruth?" he asks, trying to prompt a response.

"She likes toast soldiers and eggs for breakfast so long as they're not a bit runny. Burnt, actually, is how she likes her eggs. That's what we had this morning. And she likes chicken tenders and pasta with butter and a bit of pepper. And Cathbad makes a chocolate cake for the children that Kate goes mad for, but he won't give me the recipe. It's just as well, though, I'm rubbish at baking and I wouldn't want her to hate me for ruining her favorite thing."

The rambling like that is something Ruth does when she's uncomfortable. She's so clever and knows so much, she barrels on through with facts and figures and things when she doesn't know what else to say. When they're working, it's often overwhelming but helpful. But here, Nelson's not quite sure what to make of it. "Well I don't think I'll be trying to bake a chocolate cake anytime soon, but pasta with butter and pepper I could probably manage. You just boil pasta and then mix in some butter when the noodles are still hot, right?"

"Yes, that's right."

He smiles to himself. "Good. Maybe sometime she can come stay with me and I can make it for her."

"She'd love that," Ruth tells him softly.

"I would, too. When I've got my own place, of course. I did talk to the estate agent today that Cathbad recommended. He's going to come over to the house on Thursday to see what needs to be done and what I could sell it for, and he's going to send me some listings for flats in Lynn closer to the police station," he says.

"That would be really nice," Ruth replies somewhat hesitantly.

That throws him. "You don't think it would be nice?"

"No, I do, of course I do. I just…are you really sure about this? About selling that house?"

He sighs. "I don't want to live here anymore, Ruth. When Michelle was here, that was one thing. It was our home. _Our_ home. But without her, it just feels big and empty and full of regret. And I don't want to walk in here every day and feel like it's swallowing me up."

"I didn't know you felt like that," she says quietly.

"Well, I do. It wasn't so bad during the week, even with not being able to sleep. But after getting to be with you and Katie, coming back here was almost suffocating."

"I'm sorry."

"Don't be," he insists. "I'm not sorry. I know I spent far too long being complacent. Doing what made Michelle happy because she was my wife and trying to make her happy was what I was supposed to do. I just let things move along. I don't think I noticed how unhappy I was. And now, being here, it just keeps me right where I was. And it's time to move on."

"If it's what you want, I'm happy for you, Nelson," Ruth says. "Really, I am. I do want you to be happy."

"You make me happy," he tells her.

She hesitates for a moment. "Did you talk to a lawyer today?"

Nelson knows why she does things like that. He knows she's afraid to be optimistic, knowing how hurt both she and Kate could end up if things don't work out. He knows she's the more practical of the two of them because she has to be, because she has to think about Kate. Well, he thinks about Kate, too. He thinks about them both. He loves them both. He wants them both. He'll do everything he can to make them all happy, to be a proper family if they can possibly manage such a thing. But it's not even been a whole week since Michelle left. And it's been a lot so fast. And it's too soon for Ruth to trust in their future just yet. He's moving things along at lightning speed compared to the last four years they've known each other. And so she won't allow him to have a romantic moment for fear that she'll be too happy and it will all be ripped away. And so she changes the subject so fast it gives him whiplash. And he tells her, "Yes, I talked to a lawyer today."

"Oh."

Based on that tone, she had not expected him to actually go through with it. Though again, compared to how he's behaved in all the time she's known him, she was probably right to think he'd be too busy or distracted or afraid to actually go through with it.

"And how did that go?" she asks.

"She told me to make sure that Michelle gets a lawyer for herself and to make sure she's serious, and then I should give Michelle my lawyer's information to give her lawyer, and they'd start figuring it out."

"Your lawyer's a woman?"

"Yes, why?" Nelson thinks briefly about what he's heard about Laura and Rebecca's friends who had divorced parents, that the divorce lawyer and the client almost always have an affair. But Ruth can't be concerned about that, can she?

Ruth gives a small humorless chuckle. "I would figure you'd want a pitbull sort of lawyer. Some aggressive man who can fight for you."

Perhaps that was the more expected route, but such a thing had not even crossed Nelson's mind. "I don't want a fight with Michelle. I'll give her whatever she wants. I just want it all to be done with as quick as possible."

There's another pause on the line as Ruth thinks quite loudly through the phone. "You know, you're a really good man, Nelson."

"Thanks, I guess," he replies.

"It shouldn't surprise me anymore. But I guess it does, somehow. You're all gruff and tough and infuriating a lot of the time, but you're just…you're wonderful, aren't you?" she marvels.

"Well I try," he mumbles, feeling himself blush at her praise.

"You succeed," she tells him. "Now, you said it was good to hear my voice. Was that because you had a hard day? Or just the lawyer and the estate agent and Clougie's bangers and cheese or whatever it was?"

Nelson laughs. "No, not a bad day. Just busy. It's good to hear your voice because I've missed you, that's all. Tell me about your day."

And Nelson lets the soothing sound of Ruth's voice wash over him as she tells him all the things she did with Kate that day, all the funny things their daughter had done, what a lovely time they'd had. It makes him so incredibly happy to hear about Ruth and Kate, but it now also brings him a strange pang of jealous sadness. Because he's had a small taste of what life is like in that little cottage on the saltmarsh, and he so desperately wants to be part of it.


	15. Chapter 15

_Chapter Fifteen_

"You're grinning like a lunatic," Ruth notes.

Nelson is lying in her bed, still trying to catch his breath. The bedside lamp is on, which he's more than pleased about. And he is grinning. He knows he is, and he can't help it. He doesn't want to. "I'm happy," he tells her. Nelson turns his head toward Ruth, who is propped up on her elbows beside him, and presses a swift kiss to her cheek.

She chuckles softly. "I've never seen you like this before. I didn't know you could be giddy."

"I'm not, usually," he replies. "But tonight…I dunno, Ruth, it just feels so good."

Ruth blushes in a manner that reminds him what they've just got finished doing. Not that he needed reminding.

"That's not what I meant," he clarifies. "Although it certainly makes for a great end of the evening."

It is Wednesday, and after work, Nelson had driven right to Ruth's. He's brought a change of clothes this time, and Ruth's said he can use the shower before he leaves in the morning so he can head right into the station. They'd been talking last night and he'd casually suggested coming over for dinner again, to see Katie, of course. And Ruth had been the one to tell him to bring his clothes. They still have an understanding that Katie shouldn't know about this aspect of their relationship yet, but Ruth seems slightly more willing to let him into their lives, and he will very happy take what she offers.

And so he'd come over to help Ruth cook, since he's trying to learn. She had put some frozen chicken fingers in the oven and had Nelson make the pasta. Ruth had been so clinical about cooking. Perhaps its that scientist thing about her. But it had almost made him laugh when she'd instructed him to wait to put the pasta in the boiling water until it was a 'proper rolling bubble' and not just a mere simmer, which was his instinct. Bubbles are bubbles, and that means its boiling. Nelson hadn't thought there was a difference. And if he was in a different sort of mood, he might have gotten sore about how bossy Ruth was being. But he was useless when it came to the kitchen, and he had asked her to help him learn.

"Are you like this with your students?" he'd asked her.

"Like what?"

"Demanding."

"I am not demanding!" she'd replied, aghast at the very idea of it.

But Nelson had smiled at her and glanced around to make sure Katie wasn't nearby before he said in a low voice, "I think I'd like you demanding if you were naked."

That had certainly shut her up for that moment. Nelson loves doing that, loves putting her on the back foot. Ruth's so bloody clever, always practical and rational and logical when it comes to nearly everything. Nelson knows he's got plenty of skills of his own, knows he's good at his job and good at being a father and protector and such, but he's never had a woman make him feel like he wants to prove himself. Not like this. And it's not like the at all wants to overpower Ruth or make himself superior to her. But he wants to be better. He wants to match her. And if all he can do is make some suggestive remarks to make her eyes go wide and her cheeks go red, he'll be happy with it.

Later that night, of course, after they said goodnight to their adorable daughter and made sure she was fast asleep after a fun evening of bathtime and bedtime with her dad, Nelson had taken Ruth up to her bed and reminded her about being demanding.

"You want me to be demanding?" Ruth had been horrified at the idea, initially. She's always enjoyed sex and been good enough at it, she supposes, but she's never really been one to initiate things. Mostly, she just goes along with whatever her partner goes for, though she does know how to make sure she finishes, in case she's not being properly attended to. With Nelson, that's never been a problem. He's one of those rare men who actually takes pleasure in having the skill to turn a woman into a whimpering, shuddering mess. And Ruth knows she's extremely lucky to benefit from that.

Had Michelle been demanding? Ruth wonders. Does Nelson want to be bossed around and told what to do? Powerful men are like that, sometimes. There's that weird trend where MPs or whatever get caught having an affair with a dominatrix because they want to be made submissive in contrast to their usual roles in live. Oh god, hopefully Nelson doesn't want that from her. It's only their fourth time together. There's another thing—will she ever lose count? She hopes so. She hopes she will one day have had so much sex with this man that she cannot recall each and every time with exact detail.

But, it had turned out, Nelson did not want Ruth to tie him up and whip him or whatever terrifying bondage kink she'd had in her head. No, instead Nelson had said, "I want you to tell me what you want. Whatever you want, Ruth. Tell me what you want me to do."

And that allowed Ruth to live out a small fantasy of hers, something she'd thought about particularly in the few days since he was last in her bed. Ruth had told him to take off his clothes and she had watched him do so—something she found much more erotic than she'd initially imagined. And when he was entirely naked and already half-hard, she'd told him to lie on the bed. Ruth—still mercifully clothed, as she wouldn't have dared try this if her rolls of fat were on display, particularly with the light still on—had crawled over to him and taken his cock in hand and stroked him a few times before swirling her tongue around and taking him between her lips. Nelson had sworn, making her lift her head to shush him (Kate is just across the landing, after all), but after that, she had gotten to enjoy making Nelson as unhinged as he had made her.

She had made him so unhinged, in fact, that he had pulled her off him, practically ripped her clothes off, and had his wonderful way with her. Lying here beside him, she can still feel where his left hand had gripped her hip hard enough to bruise as his right hand worked her up enough to be ready for him. He'd also left quite a mark on her left breast, something that she feels like she should be cross about, but she isn't.

Ruth smiles, glad that he's so happy to be here with her. "I'm glad you're happy," she tells him softly.

"Are you happy?" he asks, his dark eyes suddenly full of grave concern over her answer to that question.

"Right now, yes. I can't see how I could be unhappy."

Nelson rolls over. "Come here," he says, pulling her into his arms. "Sometimes, I don't think I can ever let you go," he muses. "After all those years of having to keep you in a box, being able to just touch you is quite a treat."

"You kept me in a box?" she teases. Ruth is rather certain she knows what he means, but he's been much more forthright and open in these recent weeks, she figures she may as well press for a bit more.

"I couldn't let myself think of you too much. Daydreams here and there. What this would be like, getting to be in bed with you, being here with you and Katie. But it never seemed like it could be real. I didn't think of the details because I knew it would never happen."

"Yes," Ruth agrees, "I know the feeling."

He presses a kiss to the underside of her jaw. "But now I can touch you and hold you and feel you, and I don't have to hurry up and find my pants and drive away before anyone misses me."

She likes that he wants to touch her, though she would be lying if she said she understood it. "I'll overheat in the night if you're all over me like this," she teases. Well, she's partly teasing. She won't be able to fall asleep if he doesn't leave her be, but she also does not like to be smothered like this. After sex is one thing, but the time for intimate cuddling is quickly drawing to a close.

"Alright," he concedes, kissing her one last time. "I'll leave you be. But don't go too far."

"Where would I go?" she asks, scooting away a bit so she can reach the lamp to turn it off. "You're in my bed, remember?"

The two of them settle into bed, still naked and smiling, but the darkness has brought a quiet severity to the mood that she had not anticipated. Nelson is not grinning as madly anymore. "I know where I am, Ruth. And I'll be here so long as you let me."

She does not quite know what to say to that. Ruth murmurs a quiet "Goodnight, Nelson," and kisses the corner of his mouth before turning over onto her other side. She feels Nelson scoot closer and place one hand on her hip. She does not push him off. Strangely, she does not want to.


	16. Chapter 16

_Chapter Sixteen_

Ruth wakes to a shiver of cold. She's naked and Nelson has left the sheets pulled back from when he got out of bed. She rolls over and tries to huddle for warmth. And as her mind wakes, she becomes aware of the sound of the water running in the bathroom. She smiles. He hasn't left yet. He's showering. And maybe he'll say goodbye before he goes.

The water shuts off a moment later, jolting her out of her doze. The bedroom door opens and he slips inside quietly. "Find everything you need?" she asks softly.

Nelson jumps at the sound of her voice. "Jesus, I didn't know you were awake." His voice is gravelly. She likes the sound of him first thing in the morning.

"I got cold," she answers with a small smile.

"Oh, sorry. Next time I'll make sure you're tucked in."

Ruth grins at that. Next time. What a nice thought.

Nelson is wearing only his trunks with a towel around his shoulders. He goes to his carryall to get his clothes and towels his hair dry. He's got gorgeous hair, especially when its wet. Thick and wavy, just long enough to show off the texture, but short enough to be professional and conservative, like him. It's more gray than black, but Ruth likes it that way.

Her eyes travel down his muscled back to his rather nice bum inside his trunks. His legs are muscled and covered in a dusting of dark hairs. She's never gotten the privilege of watching him like this before, clothed in early morning shadow and not much else.

"I thought you'd be asleep when I got up, but I'm glad you're awake. Though with the shower and all, you think Katie's woken up?" he asks, turning back towards her as he puts on his trousers.

Ruth has to tear her eyes away from his body, blinking herself back to reality. "No, she's a pretty heavy sleeper. It's too early for her." His words tumble over in her half-asleep mind. "Wait, why are you glad I'm awake?"

A small smile appears on his lips as he buttons his shirt. "Because now I can kiss you before I go."

Her heart melts to a puddle of goo. How can he possibly be so romantic? Was he always hiding this part of himself all these years? Ruth never expected anything like this from Nelson. But she tamps down that gooey part of herself, deciding to make a joke instead. "Well, if you tried to kiss me while I was asleep, I might have gotten confused and hit you."

He crosses over to her and presses a swift kiss to her lips. "Maybe you'll get used to me kissing you while you're asleep and you won't get confused. But till then, I'll try not to catch you off guard," he whispers before giving her another kiss.

Ruth hums happily against his lips. She pulls back with a furrowed brow. "You smell like strawberries and cream. Did you use Kate's shampoo?"

"Women's shampoo is expensive. I didn't want to use up yours."

Obviously he's used to Michelle, a professional hairdresser. He's being considerate, and Ruth doesn't have the heart to tell him she buys Pantene from Boots for two pounds fifty. "Well good luck explaining to people why your hair smells like a five-year-old's."

Nelson scoffs, "Who d'you think's going to be sniffing my hair?"

She shrugs. "You get all sorts at the police station, don't you?"

He rolls his eyes and goes back to dressing. "Speaking of police station, I'd better get going. The drive takes longer from here." He turns to grab his things. "Can I call you tonight?"

"Text me when you get home, and I'll call you after Kate's asleep," she says.

"Good idea. And I'd like to see her again at the weekend, if it's okay."

Ruth can't help but smile. "Yes, it's okay. We like having you around."

Nelson stops what he's doing to look at her curiously. "Do you?"

"Of course. You know Kate adores you. And she's much better behaved when you're around. And I'm starting to see the benefits of having you here."

He chooses not to press. He knows they could tease about the sex being good—which it is—or how he's helpful in looking after Katie. But Nelson hopes that his slight intrusions into her sacred home life are becoming less threatening and more welcome. He's even starting to get used to the cramped nature of her cottage. The darkness of the saltmarsh is still mildly crippling, but inside, it feels…cozy. It's cozy to snuggle with Kate on the sofa with Flint nearby, watching and judging him. It's cozy to wrap himself around Ruth and caress her curves and taste her beautiful skin. The cottage certainly isn't home yet, but he does see how it might be. One day.

Nelson cannot resist kissing Ruth just a few more times before he tears himself away and hurries downstairs to his car before Katie wakes up to catch him. He thinks of her all the way to the station in Lynn. She's got her mother's eyes and his hair. But she's so much of her own person, is Katie. Kate Scarlett Galloway. It's a good name, and it suits her perfectly. But a small part of him will always secretly think of her as Katie Nelson. His precious little girl. She won't be little forever, he knows. She's growing up every day, and he's lucky to get to spend more time with her now. She'll be starting school soon, and she'll be influenced by her peers and her teachers. Will she take to sport, like Rebecca had? Will she be obsessed with makeup and clothes like Laura? Or will she take after Ruth and find a passion for science? Nelson can't quite imagine Katie taking after him. He'd hate for her to become a copper. Too dangerous. Not well-suited for his little girl. But then again, Judy Johnson is a practically perfect police sergeant. Kind and gentle when needed but tough and brilliant always. But as much as Nelson respects Johnson and values her on his team, it still isn't the life he wants for Katie. Just so long as she doesn't become a bloody druid, he'll be happy.

When he walks into the station, Clough is there waiting for him with a grave expression. "Where've you been, boss?" he asks.

Such a question is unlike Cloughie. "How d'you mean?"

"You didn't answer your mobile," he explains.

"Christ," Nelson swears under his breath. He's forgotten all about his mobile. He usually charges it when he gets home. He didn't go home last night. He hadn't thought about it for a second when he was with Ruth and Kate. It must have gone dead overnight. "What's going on?"

Clough looks worried. "I think you'd better go home."

"Why?"

"Well, we got a call here. And I got one on my mobile. It's Laura."

"Laura? My Laura!?"

Clough nods. "She called the station looking for you and then called me when the desk sergeant said you weren't here. I was about to start calling hospitals."

"Jesus wept," Nelson grumbles. Laura must be at the house. She must know he wasn't at home last night. What a bloody nightmare.

Without another word, Nelson turns and heads right back out to his car. He's got to go home now. He's got to see Laura and figure out what to tell her. She's going to hate him even more now, he can feel it.

Well, at least Laura had been sad and upset at the news of the divorce. Rebecca had erupted with anger and blame. Jesus, that's probably why Laura has come home, wanting to talk to him and cry and possibly beg for it to all go away. And instead of being around to comfort his eldest daughter, he'd been off reading a storybook to his youngest daughter and shagging her mother. How can he explain any of that to Laura now?

Her car is parked in front of the house, and Nelson pulls into the driveway. He wishes his phone wasn't dead so he could text Ruth or call her just to hear her voice, but it's probably best he can't reach her right now. He can't let her get involved with all this. Not yet, anyway. He and Michelle have to sort things with their daughters. Ruth is obviously a part of it, but she is his light at the end of the tunnel. He doesn't want to drag her into the darkness if he can help it. And while that might sound gallant of him, it's really quite selfish; he wants to shield Ruth from the ugliness so she won't hate him for getting her involved. He can't lose her.

And with that thought in mind, for better or worse, he gets out of the car and goes into the house.


	17. Chapter 17

_Chapter Seventeen_

Nelson finds the front door unlocked, which brings back old memories of scolding his daughters to lock the door behind them, his copper's instinct for home security never far away. He considers, momentarily, pretending like everything is normal and calling for Laura so he can remind her to lock the door behind her. But he doesn't get the chance.

"Dad!?" His daughter's voice sounds on the landing of the stairs.

He watches her race down and hurl herself into his arms. She's a petite little thing. Slim and blonde and beautiful like her mother. She'd grown up and away from ballerinas and instead lives at the gym. It's not sport, but it's something. And what it's gotten her is a strange sort of female perfection that reminds Nelson so much of Michelle, it actually hurts right now.

"Dad, where have you been?" Laura asks. She's crying into his shirt, holding it tight in her fists. He's got his arms wrapped around her slim body, wishing desperately that his hugs could protect her from the harsh realities they'd both have to face.

"When did you get here?" he asks, choosing not to answer her question yet. When she lifts her head to look at him, he takes her face in his hands and wipes her tears. "Have you eaten?"

Laura shakes her head. "I got here last night around nine. I was too upset to eat. I thought you'd be home during the night, but Uncle Dave said you weren't on duty, and your mobile was off. Where've you been?"

Nelson sighs, knowing this is going to be a much bigger conversation. "Let's go have some breakfast, and then we can talk."

"You want me to make you eggs?" she asks, finally leaving his embrace to lead the way to the kitchen.

"Sure. I've got a new carton in. Bought them the other day. Been learning," he tells her.

Laura gives him a strange look. "Learning what?"

"How to cook. Simple things. So far I can scramble eggs and make toast soldiers and boil pasta. That one was more complicated than I imagined," Nelson says, recalling Ruth's scolding about waiting for the water to boil. Was that really just last night? He can hardly believe. This morning has been such a whirlwind. Ruth feels far away, now.

"Why have you been making toast soldiers? You don't like soft boiled eggs."

Nelson sits at the kitchen table to keep Laura company while she cooks. They've done this before. When Michelle would go on girls' weekends and Nelson was home with the girls. Usually they'd order pizza for dinner and then Laura and Rebecca would make breakfast for them in the morning. Only now, he does know how to do some things. He could help if he wanted to try, might even impress Laura a bit.

But to be honest, he's exhausted and anxious and can't focus on trying to remember what Judy'd said about how to scramble eggs properly.

"I don't need soft boiled eggs to eat toast soldiers," he protests. He doesn't want to address the real reason yet, that he's learning to make toast soldiers for Katie because she likes them with her scrambled eggs for breakfast. Eventually, when he's got a place of his own that isn't this house full of memories of a different family life, he hopes to have Katie come stay with him. Or, even better, Ruth and Katie both. He can make breakfast for all of them then.

Laura does not press the toast soldiers issue. She starts the kettle for tea and takes the eggs out of the refrigerator. She's quiet for a while, pretending to focus her attention on the cooking. But Nelson knows she's doing the same as him, avoiding the issue. The silence seems to bother her in a way such things have never bothered him. She turns to him and asks, "So is this your life now? Learning to cook for yourself?"

"For now, yeah," he tells her. And that's the truth. It's good to start with the easier truths. "Mum's been gone just over a week."

She turns sharply to her father. "Why'd she leave?"

"We told you, we weren't happy."

Tears fill Laura's eyes again and she tries to blink them away. Her voice cracks as she asks, "Why not?"

Nelson has been thinking a lot about that all week. Since the moment Michelle kissed him goodbye and got in her car and left. It is hard to put it all into words, particularly without mentioning Ruth and Katie. But he begins, "I think your mum and I, we were too young when we met and got married. We loved each other. And we still do. But as we got older and lived our lives, we grew up. People don't stop growing up after they leave school and get jobs, Laura. I think you know that by now. But Mum and me, we grew up in different ways. We wanted different things. And because we loved each other and we love you and Rebecca, we just didn't think about it. Not till it was too hard to ignore."

"What made you think about it now?" she asks, abandoning the eggs she's whisking and staring at him, hanging on every word.

"I think when Gran died. Death makes people think about things. Take stock of life and all that. And your mum…she realized she wanted more than what I could give her. What this life could give her. And you've gotta admit, Laura, it's not like me and your mum have a lot in common."

Laura frowns, her brow furrowing in confusion. "Yes you do, you go to the garden centre at the weekend and you go on those trips together and everything."

Nelson can't help but laugh a little at that. "Sweetheart, you know I hate that stuff, right?"

"But you do it anyway!"

"Because I thought I was supposed to," he explains. "Think of it this way, love, if you had a boyfriend who followed you around the mall or went with you to the gym and never complained but didn't care at all about any of it, wouldn't you be a bit disappointed? Just because I went along with Mum didn't mean I enjoyed myself and it doesn't mean she doesn't deserve to do the things she wants with someone who would appreciate it with her."

"Not just someone who puts up with it," Laura says in understanding.

A small smile crosses Nelson's lips. "Exactly."

The kettle whistles, interrupting their conversation. Laura goes back to the eggs and Nelson fixes the tea for them both. They share a quick meal of scrambled eggs and bacon—only eggs for Laura and only a small portion at that—and Nelson helps with the washing up. He does not mention that he's noticed Laura cooks the eggs a little runny. Katie would hate that. And Nelson's not much of a fan of it either.

"Come on, let's you and me sit down for a little while. I'll have to go to work later, but there's more we have to talk about," Nelson tells Laura.

He has to move the blanket and pillow he's been using to sleep on the couch for the last week—excepting the two nights he's spent with Ruth. But Laura comes to sit beside him and gives him a great big hug.

"I love you, Dad," she murmurs softly. "And I'm sorry you haven't been happy."

Nelson just hugs her close, appreciating those words more than he can say.

All of a sudden, Laura jerks herself away from him. Her eyes narrow dangerously. She sits up on her knees and gets close to him, sniffing. "Why do you smell like strawberries?"

His blood runs cold at that. Christ, he'd forgotten. "The shampoo I used this morning."

Laura's face gets pale and frightened. "Where were you last night, Dad?"

This is it, and he knows it, and he hates it with ever fiber of his being. "Do you remember my friend Ruth? The archaeologist at the university?"

"It was all a lie, wasn't it? Oh my god, Rebecca was right! It is all your fault! You've been having an affair and that's why Mum left!" Laura shrieks, standing up and getting away from him.

"No, Laura, that's not why. I didn't lie to you about anything!" he protests. Christ, this is getting out of hand.

"Just tell me the truth, Dad," she demands. "Did you use your friend Ruth's shampoo because you spend the night with her?"

"Not exactly."

"What's that mean."

It's the moment of truth, literally and figuratively. And he confesses, "It wasn't her shampoo, it was Kate's. Her daughter. But I used it because I did spend the night with Ruth."

Far off in the saltmarsh, Ruth herself is humming while she does the laundry. She wishes she was the type of domestic woman who could hang sheets out on the line outside, but the weather is far too changeable for that. And surely if she wasn't in such a beautiful mood, she wouldn't ever think of such a thing. But she can't help but think how nice it would be, hanging sheets out on the line and knowing that she and Nelson had made love in those sheets the night before. She could think of him curled up in her bed while Flint is curled up in a patch of sun and Kate is playing happily nearby. It would be almost perfect. She feels like everything is almost perfect, now.


	18. Chapter 18

_Chapter Eighteen_

_Need to talk ASAP  
_

Ruth stares at her phone with concern. If it was urgent, Nelson would have just called her, wouldn't he? Why has he texted her like this?

But she does not question it, choosing instead to put on a Disney movie for Kate and taking her phone into the kitchen with her. She taps on Nelson's name and makes the call.

He answers on the first ring. "Oh thank god," he says in relief.

Ruth notices that his voice sounds a bit odd, but she tries to keep calm. "What's wrong?" she asks.

Nelson growls slightly. Clearly he's upset about something. "I didn't charge my bloody phone when I was at yours last night. So I didn't know anyone was trying to call me. And I got to the station and Clough said Laura's been looking for me."

"What!?"

He continues, "So I went right home and my Laura's there waiting for me, all upset, wondering where I've been, why I didn't come home last night."

Ruth's heart sinks in her chest. All that lovely joy she's been feeling all day has now evaporated. The bubble of happy romance has been well and truly popped. "Oh dear."

"It was good, for a minute, for us to talk. She's been upset about the news since Michelle and I told the girls. Rebecca wanted to kill me, but Laura just cried a lot. And she took time off work to come see me and to ask what happened."

"And what did you tell her?" Ruth asked, curious as to what Nelson's version of events was to his eldest daughter.

"I told her the truth. That Michelle and I weren't right for each other anymore, that Michelle left because she wanted more than what I could give her here, that we love each other but our marriage is over and we're both going to move on."

"No mention of me and Kate?" Ruth nearly bites her own tongue, internally cursing herself for daring to say such a thing. What Nelson told his children was up to him. Ruth obviously does not want to have her own child be made to feel like some dirty secret, but Ruth knows that the reality is much more complicated. And pushing is the worst thing she could do.

Nelson responds, "I wasn't going to mention you and Katie. Not till I talked to you first. I wanted us to figure that part out together."

"That's up to you, Nelson," Ruth says softly, trying to walk back what she's said.

"Well it ended up being up to me, yeah," he grumbles.

She frowns, eyes glancing to the doorway as the Genie from Aladdin starts to sing at Kate. "How do you mean?"

"Laura smelled my hair. And she knew I didn't smell like strawberries because I spent the night by myself."

"Oh no," Ruth laments. A very small part of Ruth wants to gloat and say that she told him this might happen, but she'd never joke about something this serious.

"I tried to explain. I…I said we've got a history. That we had an affair years ago, and it wasn't till Michelle left that we started up again."

"I suppose that's true," Ruth reasons.

"It is true. We spent two fantastic nights together, Ruth, but there's a lot more to it than that, I know. And I didn't want to explain that to Laura. And I didn't want to drag Katie into it yet. I know I've got to tell Laura and Rebecca, but I want to tell them together. Christ, I don't think I could do it more than once."

Ruth does not want to contemplate the future when it comes to this. If Nelson's older daughters know about Kate, how will they treat her? Will they welcome their little sister into their lives? Will the resent her presence and treat her cruelly? She cannot imagine that Laura or Rebecca would ever be wicked stepsisters—half-sister, actually—but hurt and betrayal can cause people to act all sorts of ways they wouldn't otherwise.

The one and only thing that matters to Ruth is that Kate is protected from all of this. For all she knows, Nelson is her dad and now he comes to visit more often and it's all great fun. And she's four years old, that's how she should feel! The world is a complicated and sometimes very dark place. Ruth just wants to let Kate live in simple sunshine for as long as she can.

"So what are you going to do?" she asks.

Nelson pauses on the line. "That's part of why I needed to talk to you. I was wondering if you and Katie could come over on Sunday. Laura is going to have Rebecca come at the weekend so the three of us can all try to deal with this together and so the girls can start going through their things, since I'm selling the house as soon as I can. I want to tell them on Saturday, about Katie. And then I want them to meet her. And you."

Ruth feels very much like she wants to throw up. "Are you sure that's a good idea?" Her voice is shaking, but there's nothing for it.

"I don't want to hide you. Either of you. And I've let this go on too long already. I've got three daughters and they should all know each other," Nelson says with much more confidence than he feels.

"I'll be there for Kate, but I don't like the idea of having Laura and Rebecca meet me like this…"

His girls have met Ruth before, but never in this context, obviously, so Nelson knows what Ruth means. But he hates hearing her insecure and afraid like this. "I don't think I can do this without you, Ruth," he tells her earnestly.

"You don't need me for it…" she protests weakly.

"Yes, I do," he insists. "I need you for most things. I told you last night, Ruth, I don't ever want to let you go again. You're important to me, and my children should know that."

"But what if they hate me and blame me for everything and I ruin everything?"

He can almost see Ruth's soft brown eyes grow big with fear as she says that. Nelson wishes more than anything that they were back in her bed, wrapped up in each other and kept cozy and protected from the wide, dark world outside. If they were, he could hold her tight and kiss her hair and whisper the truth of his heart that he'd not been able to confess aloud yet. Still could not confess aloud. "You won't ruin anything, Ruth. What's done is done. And my girls will come 'round. They'll see how happy you make me. They'll be alright."

"You can't know that," she counters. "And if they do hate you for it, I can't be put in the middle of that. They're your daughters, and they're what's important."

"Katie's my daughter, too. And there's only about a handful of people who know that! Ruth, it kills me that I can't be her dad all day every day like I got to with Laura and Rebecca. All three of them are mine. And you're Kate's mum, and I…" He trails off, knowing he can't finish that sentence. Not now. Not like this when he's driving through Lynn and Ruth is off on the saltmarsh.

Ruth lets the tension settle between them in silence for a moment before she gives a small sigh. "What time on Sunday?"

"Two o'clock?"

"Do you want me to bring anything?"

Nelson smiles. He can tell how awkward and uncomfortable she feels about all this, and her willingness to put up with it and to carry through for his sake almost makes him love her more. "No, just yourself," he replies softly.

"Okay."

"I probably won't be able to call for the next few days with Laura here. I'm about to pull up to the house now, actually. I'm in the car now," he tells her. He knows he has to hang up the phone and go inside now and face his daughter's wrath once again. But Nelson does not want to leave the safe comfort of talking to Ruth. No matter what they discuss—Kate, bones, criminal cases, Cathbad, their personal dramas—Nelson always feels a strange calm when talking to Ruth. She annoys him beyond belief sometimes with her liberal feminist educated pretention, but there's a kindness and an intelligence and a vulnerability to her that speaks to a fearlessness that he finds more reassuring than he can express. She is a woman who cares very little for the opinion of others when it comes to her appearance, who believes in the world of science, who cares deeply for the wellbeing of those she loves, who can carry on even when she's deathly afraid. And for all of that, Nelson has found, over the last five years, that he cannot exist happily—perhaps not exist at all—without her in his life.

"You can text me, if you want," she offers kindly.

"I will, thanks."

"Okay, well, I'll see you Sunday, then," Ruth says slightly awkwardly.

"Yes," he confirms. "And Ruth?"

"Yes?"

"Thanks."

"For what?" He can almost hear the dubious frown in her voice.

"For calling when I needed you to. For just…for all of it."

There's half a moment of silence. "Bye, Nelson."

"Bye, Ruth."


	19. Chapter 19

_Chapter Nineteen_

Nelson paces in the front room with the football game playing in the background. Rebecca is due to arrive any minute. He does not know what will be in store, both his older daughters in the house and hating him. Laura at least had some sympathy and sadness when they talked on Thursday before everything blew up in his face with the truth about Ruth. Ever since, they've not spoken much. He's been busy at work, and she's been spending the days going to the gym and clearing out her childhood bedroom. There's three enormous rubbish bags of things for him to take to the charity shop. And she is upstairs now going through more things.

He is also not sure how much Laura has told Rebecca. Apparently they spoke on Thursday after the revelation of Ruth, but Nelson doesn't know if Laura conveyed that to Rebecca or whatever else. He himself hasn't spoken to his middle daughter since they were on the phone with Michelle, breaking the news of the divorce. Rebecca had been very quick to blame him and become extremely angry over it all. He isn't sure if she still feels that same way.

But he will find out soon enough because her car is pulling up outside. He goes and greets her in the driveway. "Hallo, sweetheart," he says, pasting a smile on his face to hide his nerves. He really shouldn't be afraid of his own child, but given the circumstances, he can't quite help it.

Rebecca gets out of the car and stares at him. He can't read her face, but she looks mildly suspicious. His heartrate quickens with anxiety. Eventually she grumbles, "Hi, Dad."

"Laura's up in her room working on her clear-out. I thought I could make lunch for us all whenever you're ready," he says gently. It's eleven right now, and he'd been too preoccupied to eat much breakfast. Laura never eats much of anything, he's noticed, but hopefully they can all have lunch together.

"You make lunch?" Rebecca asks incredulously.

"I'm learning to cook a bit," he defends. He can do a toasted cheese along with the scrambled eggs with toast soldiers and the pasta with butter.

Rebecca gets her overnight bag from the boot of her car and walks past her father into the house. "I'm going to put my stuff down and then let's have lunch. I'm starving."

Nelson follows her inside and immediately gets started making three toasted cheese sandwiches. Rebecca comes down to sit at the kitchen table to watch him. She tells him that Laura will join them when she's finished with the box she's sorting. "It's weird seeing you cook," Rebecca notes.

"I'm not going to live on takeaway now that Mum's gone," he replies.

"She left because you cheated, didn't she?"

The casual nature of that statement throws him. "No, she didn't," he tells her, trying to remain similarly casual and not turn away from the sandwiches he's making. "Mum told you why she left. She wasn't happy. Neither of us was. She's starting her own life. I'm staying in town, of course, but I'm selling the house so we can both move on. You and Laura have moved away, you've got your own lives. Now we can all be happier this way." Nelson feels like he's said a variation of this speech about a dozen times in the last two weeks. Though the repetition doesn't make it any less true.

"But you did cheat," Rebecca presses.

Either Rebecca suspects this on her own or else Laura told her already. Regardless of which, Nelson won't lie to her. "Yes."

"And that's not why Mum left?"

"It happened years ago. And she's known for a long time. And that's not why she left." Nelson puts the sandwiches onto plates and turns toward Rebecca for the first time. "Go tell your sister lunch is ready, please."

The three of them sit down and eat in silence for a few minutes. Nelson is trying to figure out how to broach the subject. Laura is picking at her food, and Rebecca is watching both of them with increasing suspicion. The awkwardness is eventually too much for him. At work, he can wait out a suspect in an interview, no problem. But this isn't a case he's solving. These are his daughters. And he's procrastinated enough.

"You both remember my archaeologist friend, Dr. Ruth Galloway?" he begins.

"The woman you've been sleeping with?" Laura snarls.

Rebecca gives a snort of laughter, which surprises Nelson. "What's that for?" he asks her.

"There is no way you cheated on our mother, the most beautiful woman in the world, with Ruth. I mean, she's not bad looking, but Mum is gorgeous. How could you possibly even think to look at Ruth when you've got Mum?" Rebecca replies.

Nelson shakes his head. "It's not about what she looks like. It's…Ruth and I have something that I've never really had with your mother. And that's why it's been so difficult. I work with Ruth a lot of the time, and she's…I dunno, she's different. She's smart and kind."

"And our mother is stupid and mean?" Laura interjects.

"I didn't say that," Nelson counters. "And I never would. It's just different! They're two very different people. And I love them differently."

That snaps Rebecca's attention again. "What did you just say?"

"That Mum and Ruth are different."

"Did you just say you love Ruth?"

He hadn't meant to let that slip. He sighs, hoping to walk that back a little. "It's complicated. And that's not even really the complicated part."

Rebecca isn't making jokes anymore, and Laura looks very close to tears again. Rebecca looks at her sister with worry and back to their father. "What's the complicated part, if it isn't that you're somehow in love with a frumpy single mother who digs up bones for a living?"

"Ruth's a single mother to our child. I'm Katie's father. She's your sister."

At exactly two o'clock on Sunday, Ruth parks her car in front of Nelson's house. She's been here before, but very infrequently. She sees Nelson's white Mercedes in the driveway with two other cars behind it. Those must belong to Laura and Rebecca. Ruth is very close to a panic over all of this, and she's not sure if it's helped or made worse by the enthusiasm coming from the backseat of her own car.

"Mummy, are my sisters pretty?"

Ruth wishes she wouldn't ask things like this, but she answers Kate anyway. "Yes, they're very pretty. Like Aunt Michelle, you remember?"

Kate smiles. "Is Aunt Michelle going to be here?"

"No," Ruth reminds her. She had explained all of this earlier, telling Kate that they were going to Dad's house and she was going to meet Dad's older daughters, Laura and Rebecca, who are Kate's big sisters. "Aunt Michelle moved away. She and your dad aren't going to be married anymore. That's why he's been able to come by so often now."

"Is Dad going to marry you now?"

Ruth nearly wants to vomit at that question. "We're all focusing on him just being your dad," she replies to her daughter.

She gets out of the car and goes to the back to get Kate out of her child seat. Before she can, however, there's a familiar voice calling to them.

"Hallo, lovely ladies!"

Ruth has never heard Nelson use terms like that before. Perhaps he's having some kind of breakdown. She turns away from Kate to see him jogging toward them with a manic sort of smile. "Everything okay?" she asks warily.

"Champion," he replies. He puts his hands on Ruth's hips to move her aside so he can see Kate. "Hallo, Katie. I've got some people who really want to meet you," he tells her.

"Is that so?" Ruth asks with more concern.

Nelson picks up Kate and carries her into the house, telling Ruth, "We all had an interesting talk yesterday. And after a lot of yelling and crying and questions and answers and everything, we've come to an understanding."

"And that is?"

"We're all going to be happy and civil and give it a chance. We can't change anything that's already happened, so we're just going to make the best of everything," Nelson tells her.

"You know who you remind me of right now?" Ruth says in a low tone.

"Who?"

"Phil."

Nelson groans, "Jesus wept."

Ruth chuckles slightly. There he is. That's her Nelson.

He puts Kate down just inside the door. "Go over there, Katie, and meet your sisters."

Behind them, Ruth holds her breath. She texted Nelson earlier today, telling him that she'd explained things to Kate as best she could. But there was really no way to prepare any of them for what is about to happen.

Sitting on the sofa are Laura and Rebecca, both looking beautiful and somewhat apprehensive. Kate, having no fear in a way that her mother cannot fathom, walks right up to them. "Hallo, my name is Kate Scarlett Galloway and I'm four years old and that's my mum and dad."

Kate points to Ruth and Nelson and smiles at them. Ruth tries to give her an encouraging smile back, but she's sure it looks more like a grimace. She can't breathe or think, she's just waiting for the other shoe to drop. A hand takes hers and gives a comforting squeeze. Ruth looks away from Kate for just a second to glance at Nelson beside her. He gives a subtle nod.

Laura stands up first. "Hi Kate, I'm Laura. And I'm twenty-three. And that's my dad over there, too." She has a friendly smile on her face and gets right down on her knees so she's at Kate's level.

Rebecca joins her sister on the floor and introduces herself, too. "And I'm Rebecca. I'm nineteen years old. And I'm really glad to meet you, Kate."

"My mum was right, you're both really pretty," Kate says.

Both Laura and Rebecca laugh. "You're really pretty, too, Kate. I guess that's something we all have in common as sisters," Rebecca says.

"Kate, do you like Frozen?" Laura asks.

"Yeah! It's my favorite movie!" Kate cries.

"Do you want to watch it with us? It's my favorite movie, too. And it's all about sisters, like us!" Laura tells her.

Kate excitedly joins Laura and Rebecca on the sofa, sitting between the two of them. She looks so happy and excited, and the older girls are being so sweet and welcoming. And it's much more than Ruth can handle.

She lets go of Nelson's hand and backs out of the room, hiding herself in the foyer by the front door as tears start to fall down her cheeks. Nelson does not hesitate a second before pulling her into his arms so she can cry into his shoulder.


	20. Chapter 20

_Chapter Twenty_

Ruth gets ahold of herself by the time the song about the ice starts playing at the beginning of Frozen. She pulls back from Nelson, grateful for his silent, strong presence but acutely aware that Kate and Laura and Rebecca are all sitting ten feet away.

"Alright?" he asks softly.

She nods. "It's going to be okay, right?"

He gives her a small smile. "Yeah, I think so." Nelson takes her hand again. "Come on, let me make you a cup of tea. The girls are fine for now."

Ruth follows him to the kitchen, allowing him to lead her by the hand. Strange how quickly that's become so normal and nice, just holding his hand. But he lets go of her so she can sit down and he can start the kettle.

"Katie took it well, then? Finding out she's got sisters?" Nelson asks.

"I think so. She's such a gregarious little thing. Not like me at all that way."

"Nor me," he adds with a small scoff.

"She got really excited this morning when I told her about Laura and Rebecca. It was sort of strange, though."

Nelson turns to her. "Strange how?"

Ruth gives him a rather rueful expression. "I've only met Laura and Rebecca once or twice. I don't really know them. And why would I? But Kate asked me lots of questions like she always does, and I'm not usually at a loss for an answer."

"I imagine you're not," he replies affectionately. "But I think their first meeting's going alright, eh?"

She nods. "I didn't know what to expect at all. I know they're nice girls, you and Michelle couldn't have anything but nice girls, but this whole situation has got to be hard on them, and I think I worried that they might take it out on Kate."

"Yeah," Nelson agrees. "I was a bit worried about Rebecca. Laura's got a soft heart. She's sensitive and she likes kids. And she and I have had the last few days together, and she's coming around. Rebecca's a bit more withdrawn. Quick to anger. I was terrified for her to come up here yesterday."

Ruth frowns. "And how did it all go? You didn't tell me much before." She nearly bites her tongue at that. She's got no right to ask him personal things about his children, and she knows better to pry. Because if she asks, he might answer, and she might not like what that answer is.

But Nelson just sighs. "It was pretty terrible, actually. I don't even want to repeat the things they called me."

"Oh no," Ruth sympathizes.

"I deserve it all, I suppose. I mean, I know what I did. I know what happened. And it is all my fault. The girls have every right to blame me for everything. I just…"

"You just what?" she presses.

Nelson glances at the door to make sure that no one is coming in to overhear him say these words. "I just feel bad for not feeling bad."

Well, if that isn't the most Catholic thing Ruth has ever heard in all her life! That kind of guilt is so foreign to her. She's got enough to be concerned about without worrying if she feels bad enough for every mistake.

Since Ruth hasn't answered, Nelson turns the kettle off and fixes their tea. He puts a cup in front of her on the table and sits down beside her. He takes a comforting sip and encourages her to do the same. And then he elaborates, "You saw me that first night when Michelle left, Ruth. You know I was a mess."

She just nods.

"But even so, I couldn't help feeling free. And knowing that I can be with you and Katie now. My marriage and my family have fallen apart. I should be picking up the pieces, not fantasizing about playing on the beach with Katie and taking you to bed."

Ruth wants to tell him what it means to her to hear him say that, to know that he thinks of her and their daughter that way—the idea that he wants them. She still isn't used to it. And she just doesn't have the words to tell him. Not yet.

Nelson reaches out and covers her hand with his. "It's not fair to Michelle or to Laura and Rebecca, but getting to look ahead and see a future with you…it's the happiest I've been in a long time."

He watches as she digests his words. Christ, he's been talking about his feelings for two days straight, it feels like. Laura had still been reeling from the reality of his affair with Ruth and Rebecca had begrudgingly accepted it when he dropped the bombshell of Kate's paternity. There had been screaming and yelling and crying. Both the girls ranted on and on, first about their father's stupidity and audacity for taking Ruth to bed and not using protection—at least he can feel somewhat comforted to know that they practice safer sex than he does, not that he wants to give any thought to what his grown daughters get up to. Then after they'd berated him about conceiving a child with a woman he had a one-night stand with, the accusations about the lying and hiding things came about. How could he hide this from them? How could he treat them so callously to not trust them with the truth? On and on and on about what a rotten man he was and how Mum should have left him years ago.

It was Laura, however, sweet lovely Laura, whose soft heart asked him the accusing questions that even brought him to tears. _What does Kate think about all this? Does she know you've got another family? Does she understand that you've not gotten to be her dad for her whole life? _Those words haunted him. The truth of them had haunted him for the last four years. Five years, in fact, ever since he found out he'd gotten Ruth pregnant. And that was really the heart of the problem for him. He genuinely loved being a father, spending time with his children and playing with them and protecting them and teaching them. He adored all three of his girls more than anything in the world. And the knowledge that he'd not gotten to be a part of Katie's life the way he had for Laura and Rebecca had been ripping his heart to shreds. Katie was still young enough to not know much better. She knew her dad didn't live with them, and she only saw him sometimes. Surely other children with parents who weren't together had similar situations. But Nelson isn't some sad divorced dad with occasional custody visits. He loves his daughter and he loves her mother—he'd let slip as much to Rebecca and Laura, he may as well admit it to himself—and he wants more than anything in the world to be with them and to be a proper family. There's just so much standing in their way. Less than before, certainly, but still more obstacles than Nelson feels confident they can all overcome.

"You know I don't blame you, right?" Ruth offers amidst the silence.

His fingers that have been stroking the back of her hand pause. "How do you mean?"

"Kate might have been unexpected and unplanned, but she's the greatest thing that has ever happened to me. You gave her to me, and I'll always thank you for that. Even if you were married with a perfect happy family at the time. And ever since, I know we argue about her school and whatever else, but you've not made any demands on me or on her, and you've not abandoned us either. I know that if Kate ever needs anything I can't give her, you'll come swooping in on your white charger to save the day. Or rather, zoom in with your white Mercedes."

He can't help but chuckle. "Thank you, Ruth. I want things to be alright, for things to be better. But it's nice someone doesn't resent me for doing everything wrong."

Ruth shakes her head. "When it comes to us, you've done everything right. All things considered, anyway. Even with your antiquated views on gender roles and your infuriating fixation with private schools."

It is in his mind to tell her right then and there that he loves her, but he doesn't. He just leans forward and kisses her cheek. She makes a small, happy noise. And with some strange love song about sandwiches playing in the other room, Nelson tilts his head just slightly so he can kiss Ruth properly.


	21. Chapter 21

_Chapter Twenty-One_

"Oh!"

Nelson's eyes snap open and Ruth pulls away from their kiss as they hear a voice behind them. She immediately turns away, and he can see her blushing bright red. Slightly dazed, he turns around to see Rebecca standing in the kitchen doorway.

"Sorry to interrupt," she says snidely. "Kate asked if we can have ice cream. I said I'd check with you."

The look on Ruth's face is one he's not sure he's ever seen. She looks utterly horrified and about ready to break down and cry. In fact, he knows he's never seen her like that before. Even when either of them had been in mortal danger in the past, Ruth has been strong and focused, almost recklessly so. Seeing her turned meek and afraid by his daughter, of all things, stirs something inside him he can't quite name.

Seeing that Ruth cannot answer, Nelson says, "Just one of the fruit things. She gets hyper on too much sugar."

Rebecca is looking at him and then to Ruth and back to him. There's a curious look on her face. She walks past them both and goes to the freezer to find the fruity ice pops that Michelle used to buy for a treat now and again. They've got lemon and strawberry. Rebecca gets one of each and then decides on one more strawberry.

"I'll let Kate have her pick, and me and Laura can take what's left. Though I bet Laura doesn't want one," Rebecca says, rolling her eyes. She starts to go back to the living room but pauses, turning back to Ruth with a strange little smile. "I won't bite, you know. You don't have to be scared of us. Everything over the last week has been completely mental and awful for me and Laura, but…well…Kate's amazing. We just love her. And if you're going to be part of our family, we all should…I dunno, get used to each other, I guess." She shrugs and takes the ice pops out to where Elsa is singing Let It Go.

Nelson just stares after her, confused beyond belief. "What the bloody hell's she playing at?" he mutters to himself. Rebecca's words to Ruth just then were shockingly kind. And mature. Two words that would not have been in the first dozen that spring to mind when describing his Rebecca. She's a strong girl, smart and funny, somewhat flippant and disorganized sometimes. She's got a mean streak in her, too. Nelson thinks she gets that from him, that tendency to be judgmental and sarcastic rather than earnestly join in with anything.

But Rebecca's moment of vague warmth just then is extremely unexpected. Nelson has assumed that she's the one who will be hardest to win over. Laura, after she's done crying, will always come around. She loves too much to ever stay angry or hurt for too long. Rebecca's the one to hold a grudge. Having her be the one to tell Ruth that they love Kate and they should all be something of a family? Not in a million years did Nelson imagine hearing that from Rebecca. In fact, he has been expecting and dreading that Rebecca would be so upset and disappointed in him that she just leaves and never wants to speak to him again. Instead, it seems like she's welcoming Ruth into their lives and accepted it. How and why, he's not sure.

"That wasn't what you told me," Ruth says quietly.

He turns to her, seeing her face still a little pink but her eyes much less like a deer in the headlights now. "Hmm?" Nelson seems to have lost the power of intelligent speech for the moment.

"You said Rebecca's the angry one. She didn't seem angry. She was…really nice, actually."

"Yeah, I don't know," he replies. And he doesn't know. He has no words to explain what just happened.

Ruth shakes her head. "We need to be more careful. I know Rebecca and Laura know about you and me. Obviously. But we shouldn't have been having a snog in your kitchen. Kate's right out there."

He knows she's right, but he doesn't like it. "We can't keep hiding away, Ruth," he counters.

She rests her elbows on the table and covers her face with her hands. "I know. I know, but we can't rush into this."

"We've been leading up to this for five years," he points out.

Ruth lifts her head again. "Your wife left you less than two weeks ago. And in that time, I don't think we've at all taken things slow or really given this much thought."

"You might not have, but I have," Nelson replies. His voice is a slight hiss as he tries to keep himself quiet. He feels very much like shouting, but he's got to remember that the girls are just in the other room.

"You can't have," Ruth argues. "You've been heartbroken and trying to adjust, and you're throwing yourself at me and Kate instead of dealing with your own feelings."

"Why do you think I've been throwing myself at you and Katie, hmm?" he growls. "Because I want to be with you. Both of you. I don't want to be on my own, to live my life alone with out Michelle. Since the day Kate was born, Ruth, I've been torn in two. Trying to be here where I was supposed to be and desperately wishing I was with you. Do you know what that's like? To want two separate lives and then being told you can't have either? Don't you dare tell me I haven't thought about this."

Ruth feels as thought she's been slapped. His words have utterly shocked her, though not as much as Rebecca's before. But Ruth will not back down from him now. She will not let him play the victim here. "And do you know what it's like to be the second choice? To know that I've no claim to you, despite everything between us? I've never pushed you, Nelson, because I wasn't allowed to. Do you know what it's like to be in public with your child and have everyone you know look at me like I'm some kind of dirty secret? Like Kate and me are your terrible mistake? To have to watch you and your perfect wife and your perfect family and to know that we aren't worth even half of that?"

"That's not true."

She cuts him off before he can say anything further, though she can see she's deflated him quiet a bit. "But that's what it is. And now that you're spending all this time with us, how am I not supposed to be reminded that you never would have done any of this on your own? You never in a million years would have left Michelle. You wouldn't have chosen us…_me_ if she hadn't been the one to leave. And now you'd rather cling to a runner-up family than ever suffer on your own."

At this point, Ruth cannot speak anymore. She's already let her emotions get away with her far too much. As Nelson gapes at her, trying to find words, she knows she cannot hear a word of it. She stands up and wipes her face of the two tears that have escaped.

"I'm going to go into town for some shopping. Text me when I should pick up Kate, alright?"

"Ruth, I…"

"We can talk later," she insists. "I just…I can't right now." And swift as she can, Ruth is out the door and in her car.


	22. Chapter 22

_Chapter Twenty-Two_

Ruth does not actually do any shopping. She just drives around Lynn and lets her mind wander. There are a lot of thoughts dancing around, lots of things to figure out, lots of things to haunt her.

She's glad Kate isn't around. She can't think about herself when her daughter is with her. That's the way of being a mum, isn't it? Ruth knows she's not the world's greatest mother, but she does alright. Kate is safe and happy and developing well, she thinks. And there's probably more Ruth could or should be doing for her. But Ruth has also come to understand that she cannot be a good mother to Kate if she isn't giving herself anything. She wants to show Kate a model of how to be a strong and successful woman. Not that Ruth feels like either of those things. But she's got her job, which she loves, and she's really quite good at it. And even though Kate is at the age where Disney is the best thing in the universe, Ruth knows she's not going to let her daughter grow up to be a princess who is waiting to be saved. That's not what Galloway girls do.

Ruth gives a slightly snorting scoff at that. Galloway girls, what a thing. Though Kate is a Galloway. Kate Scarlett Galloway, the name Kate had proudly told Laura and Rebecca when she met them. When she was born, Ruth had no intention of giving her any name but Galloway. And she never regretted it for a single minute. Obviously, at the time, she couldn't have been called Kate Nelson. He would have liked that, though. He's old-fashioned that way. If things had been different, if he hadn't been married and if Ruth and he had been more than an emotional catharsis of a one-night stand, he probably would have fought for having his name on Kate's birth certificate. As it is, Ruth had no choice but to call her Galloway. And she's still glad she did. Kate is hers in every way. Hers and hers alone.

And that's the most difficult thing about this new phase they've entered into. One of them, at any rate. Nelson is a wonderful father and Ruth is glad he loves Kate and wants to be with her. And she of course wants Kate to have a relationship with her father. But at the same time, Ruth has raised Kate on her own. She's Kate's mum and it's just the two of them and Flint out there in the saltmarsh. Just them. And that's how it's always been and how it'll always be. Ruth has never, except in flights of fancy, believed it would be anything else. With Nelson coming around more, with him wanting to be a part of their little two-person family, Ruth cannot help but feel her safe, secure, solitary world being threatened.

That's why she's never been serious about anyone since she's had Kate. She does not want to share Kate with anyone. She does not want to share herself with anyone. She's happy just as she is.

_Except she's fantasized about Nelson since the moment she met him_.

That's the other problem, of course. She wants him. God, she wants him so bloody much. Nelson is not a perfect man by a long stretch. He's not even perfect for Ruth in a lot of ways. But no other man has ever made her actually want to have someone beside her when she goes to bed and when she wakes up. No other man has ever made her fantasize about getting married. No other man has ever so irrevocably changed her very soul.

Christ, that's a bit too melodramatic, isn't it? But at any rate, that's the root of her problem, she knows. She does not want to sacrifice her familiar life for just anyone. She does not want anyone but Nelson. But why is she so reluctant to let him be with her?

He's told her he wants her. He's shown her he wants her. He's been so incredible with Kate these last few weeks. Not even two weeks, actually. But since that night Michelle left, he's been so communicative, so good about making time for Kate and for her. He's opened up to her and shared with her more than she ever thought he was capable of. She's gotten to know him now, better than she could have before. And he's gotten to know her, she thinks. She hopes. And getting to know her does not seem to have scared him off.

Nelson's even gone so far as to tell his daughters about her and about Kate. From what little he's told her, Ruth knows it was not an easy conversation. She knows they must have hurt him very deeply. And how is it that his daughters hurt him in response to finding out about him and Ruth and he _still_ wants to be with her? Surely a lesser man would have run for the hills at that. Ruth has not wanted him to sacrifice his relationship with his daughters on his behalf, but instead of shunning her and Kate and punished them both for leading their father away from their mother, Laura and Rebecca—or at least Rebecca, to be sure—have seemed to have already come around to accepting Ruth and Kate as inevitable facts of their father's life. Had Nelson said something to them? Had he insisted on the girls accepting Ruth and Kate? What had he conveyed to his daughters to cause such a response?

That is something she knows she will have to ask him about, as much as she doesn't want to. She is so wildly insecure when it comes to him—not that she isn't insecure already—but she wishes she could take back the things she'd said in the kitchen. She had let her fears get the better of her, let the words tumble from her mouth as remnants of all that built-up pain over the last five years.

He's done nothing but show her that he wants her, wants Kate, wants _them_. It's everything she's ever wanted. She knows she wants him. Deep down in her heart, even with all her worries and insecurities, she wants him. She loves him. She's loved him for years. And now that he's offering to make her dreams a reality, why is she so reluctant to let him?

Ruth sighs, making a U-turn at the light to head back towards town to stop and get a cake from that bakery she likes. She knows why she's so reluctant, she just doesn't want to admit it, even to herself. Ruth knows that taking that brave step to letting Nelson be with them would be a dream come true. But if, for whatever reason, things don't work out or Nelson changes his mind, after coming so close to that blissful reality, _Ruth knows she cannot survive losing him_.

Nelson, meanwhile, has taken his tea into the living room to sit on the sofa with his girls to watch the rest of Frozen. He just watched this with Kate and Ruth the other day, but it's not a bad film. And he's watching it with all three of his daughters. What a thing!

Despite the hole in his chest from that argument with Ruth, Nelson feels his heart grow warm at looking over at his three daughters all sitting together. Laura catches his eye and gives a soft smile at him. Oh she's so beautiful, his Laura. All three of them are gorgeous, but Laura looks the most like Michelle. And Rebecca had been right that, objectively, Michelle is the most beautiful woman in the world. Both she and Laura are slim and blonde and athletic and shine with some kind of ethereal glow.

Rebecca, though, she's got darker features—like him—and a mysterious elegance about her that is a beauty all its own. When she was a little girl, Nelson used to think she looked a bit like Elizabeth Taylor in that Lassie movie that used to play on television when he was a child. Rebecca has grown into a feisty girl who, while being very intimidating and brash, possesses a kind of strength and confidence that Nelson is immensely proud of.

And between Laura and Rebecca sits little Katie. Oh she's a pretty little thing. She's got his hair, he knows. His is mostly gray now, but Kate's has the same curly texture. It's almost exactly the same color as Rebecca's. Looking at her next to his older daughters, he can see more similarities in them. Similarities they've all inherited from him. They've all got the same jawline. Slightly squared off at the chin. And even though Rebecca has her hair down, from where Nelson is sitting, he knows all three girls have the same shaped ears. Strange things to notice, but he is actively looking for those commonalities. He's delighted by what he sees.

He watches Katie turn to Laura and say something too quiet for him to hear. Laura smiles and nods. Katie then turns to Rebecca and presumably says the same thing.

"Yeah, that's a good idea," Rebecca answers.

Katie smiles brightly and looks right at him. "Daddy, can I come snuggle with you?"

"'Course you can," he tells her. Jesus, if he'd been happy before, he hadn't known the meaning of it till this moment.

He sits up slightly so Katie can come climb on to his lap. She puts her little legs over the arm of the chair he's in and turns her little head towards the television and rests it on his chest. Nelson wraps his arms around her and presses a kiss to the part of her hair he can reach.

"Did you ask Laura and Rebecca if you could come sit with me?" he asks.

She nods. "I didn't want to leave them without asking. They're so pretty and so nice and I want them to like me, but you're my dad and I like sitting with you."

There's a lump in his throat now. He'd be a monster if such a sweet sentiment didn't nearly bring him to tears. He tries to swallow it back. "I like sitting with you too."

He can feel her smile against him. "You're a good snuggler."

Nelson chuckles slightly. "I love you, Katie," he whispers.

"I love you, too," she replies. "Now shh, this is my favorite part."


	23. Chapter 23

_Chapter Twenty-Three_

When Frozen ends, Nelson suggests that Laura and Rebecca take Katie up to their rooms until Ruth comes back. And then he's left with knowing he's got to call her. He takes his empty mug back to the kitchen to wash it out and then takes out his mobile to ring her.

She answers after less than two seconds. "Shall I come pick her up?" she says, not bothering to say hello.

"The film's ended. I dunno what you've got for the rest of your day. I was…I was going to see if you wanted to stay for dinner. Things seem to be going well with all the girls," he offers awkwardly.

"It's up to you. Kate can stay for dinner if you want her to. You know what she likes to eat."

Nelson pauses. "I'd like you to come for dinner, too. Unless you're still mad at me."

"I'm not mad. I wasn't mad."

"What would you call it, then?" he counters.

She sighs into the phone. "I was…hurt. We've been so happy, Nelson. At least I have."

"Me too," he interjects.

"But I mean what I said before, we've not thought this through. In the moment, being together like we have, it's wonderful. There's just so much more we need to think about," she tells him.

"I think we've thought about more than you realize, Ruth," he says. "I think you need to have a little faith in me."

Ruth hesitates. "I'll come for dinner. If you promise not to bring this up at all. If we can just get through the evening without any discussion about you and I and whatever future there might be."

"That's all I want for now," he tells her earnestly. "I just want to sit and have a meal with all my daughters and with you. You said before you don't know Laura and Rebecca very well. And I want you to. And I want them to know you. They're both leaving tomorrow, and I don't know when they'll be back. So this is our only opportunity for now."

"Alright," she finally agrees. "I'm heading over now. Shall I pick up anything for dinner?"

"I've got pasta here and Laura makes really nice salads. Anything else you or Kate want?"

"If you can get her to eat even one bite of salad, I'll…"

He grins to himself. "You'll what?"

She laughs, clearly in spite of herself. "Alright, what? What reward do you want if you can get her to eat salad?"

"If I get her to eat salad, I can come spend the night sometime this week."

"I'd hope you'd do that even if she doesn't eat salad," Ruth responds softly, almost as though she's embarrassed.

Nelson's heart soars. After their fight, he'd not been sure if she'd still want the arrangement they'd had prior to today. "Alright then, I'll spend the night sometime this week and if she does eat the salad, I'll be in charge after she goes to sleep."

Ruth balks slightly at that statement. "You're always in charge, aren't you?"

"Well last time I had you do whatever you wanted. This time I'll do whatever I want."

She still doesn't quite like the sound of it. "Erm…well…"

"I promise I won't do anything to make you uncomfortable, Ruth. I wouldn't want to do anything you didn't want. It…well, I hope you don't think I'd…"

"No," she answers quickly. And she knows that. She knows he'd never do anything to coerce her in any way. Not like that.

"I'm not going to go any details while we're on the phone and the girls are just upstairs, but I've got some things in mind. Some things I think you'll like," he adds.

"Alright, fine. If you can get Kate to eat salad at dinner tonight, you can do what you want when we go to bed together the next time. And if she doesn't eat salad, you'll have to come over next weekend and do some chores around the cottage that I'm not tall enough or strong enough to do on my own, alright?"  
He chuckles, "Alright."

They hang up shortly after that. Ruth drives back toward his house. She's feeling infinitely better than she had before. Nelson hadn't really apologized for his flippancy earlier and for not taking her feelings seriously, but she's come to realize that it's just her own anxious insecurities prompting all that. And they will have to talk about it sometime. They will. She's just not ready for it yet.

Thankfully, Nelson had wanted to move past it just as much as she does for now. And she can come to his for dinner and get to know Laura and Rebecca a bit better and see Kate interact with them, and, as Rebecca had said in the kitchen, they can all start to get used to each other.

Ruth wonders for a moment if she should pick up anything to give to the girls. But Nelson had told her she didn't need to get anything, and she wouldn't know what to get for them anyway. Her inclination would be to get some kind of fancy dessert, but neither of those girls look like the kind of people to indulge in cakes the way Ruth does. And she doesn't want to give Kate the excuse to have any more sugar. So in the end, she turns up back at the Nelson house empty handed.

She rings the bell and Rebecca answers the door. "Welcome back. Dinner's almost ready. Dad's cooking. It's really wild."

Rebecca's good humor makes Ruth smile. "What's he making?"

"Pasta. I know it's just boiling water, but he's taking it so seriously."

Ruth smiles a bit wider at that. "Did he wait till the water was at a proper boil?"

"Yeah," Rebecca laughs. "He had Kate help him and to stand back on the stool and watch the water, and she saw bubbles and got all excited and he said, 'No, that's just a simmer, we've got to wait,' and I had no idea he knew that."

"He's eager to learn," Ruth says gently.

"Did you teach him that?"

She nods.

Rebecca smiles. "Good on you. Didn't know the old dog could learn new tricks."

"Don't let him catch you saying that," Ruth warns good-naturedly as they make their way to the kitchen.

"Don't let me catch her saying what?" Nelson asks, turning away from the pasta to see them.

"Dad, Ruth says I shouldn't call you an old dog."

He laughs. Oh she does love the sound of his laugh. "Well, I am an old dog, aren't I? That's where all the gray hair and scars come from. Being an old dog."

"Why've you got scars, Daddy?" Kate asks.

Nelson turns his attention to her, where she's standing on a step-stool about a foot away from the stove—something Ruth notes with satisfaction, as she's too far away to hurt herself on the gas flame. "Being a policeman is very dangerous and sometimes I get hurt. And sometimes the really bad injuries leave a scar."

"Did you ever get shot?" she asks, little eyes big as saucers.

"Yes," Nelson answers. He does not say anything further on the subject. "Rebecca, is the sauce ready?"

"Nearly. But drain the pasta if it's done," she replies, taking her place at the stove again, on the other side of Kate's stool.

"Where's that strainer?" he asks.

Ruth notices it on the far counter. "Here, I've got it," she says, bringing it over to the sink for him.

Nelson brings the pot over. "Cheers, love," he says in thanks. He pours everything into the strainer and shakes it a few times to get the residual water off the spaghetti, just as Ruth had shown him a few days earlier. As the steam clears he turns his head to look at her with a small smile. "Hello," he greets softly.

She smiles. "Hello."

Laura has finished with the salad and puts it on the table. She helps Kate wash her hands and take her seat. Nelson has put spaghetti on each of their plates, very little for both Laura and Kate, one of whom insists she doesn't want to overdo it on carbs and the other of whom has a very tiny stomach. Rebecca then spoons sauce onto four of the plates while Nelson puts butter and salt and pepper on the one for Kate.

They all take their seats. Nelson shows Ruth where to sit and places an unexpected hand on the small of her back to guide her. He lets his hand linger there and drift up her back and onto her arm as she sits down. She'd not expected him to be affectionate in front of his daughters, though this barely counts. Still, it's not unwelcome. And as they all dig in to their meal, all of them with happy faces, Ruth can't help but feel like maybe…maybe this might all work out.


	24. Chapter 24

_Chapter Twenty-Four_

Dinner is a surprisingly pleasant affair. Laura and Rebecca are so kind to Ruth and to Kate, Ruth isn't quite sure what to do. She had not expected them to be so warm and so nice. But of course, Nelson and Michelle had raised two smart, beautiful, perfect girls. And Ruth could see now that Kate was lucky to have them as her sisters, role models for her as she grew up. Though Ruth was not very pleased to see Laura's eating habits and worried about that. But then again, Ruth herself is not the best model of healthy eating, so perhaps Laura's tiny bites and shuffling food on her plate are less of a problem. Either way, it's not any of Ruth's business till she sees it affecting Kate.

"Ruth, Dad says you're an archaeologist who works with the police?" Rebecca asks.

"Sometimes," she replies. "I'm a forensic archaeologist. I specialize in bones. And so when the police find bones, they call me."

Rebecca turns to her father. "Lucy?"

He nods gravely but says nothing.

"That was the first, yes," Ruth tells her. "We found Lucy on the saltmarsh, thankfully alive. But the bones found out there were from the Iron Age." She can feel herself getting a bit too excitable and tries to stop herself from going overboard. _No one really cares, Ruth_, she reminds herself.

Laura wrinkles her nose. "The saltmarsh? It's so creepy out there. All flat like that, you can't tell where the sea ends and the land begins."

Ruth nods. "That's the magic of it. In ancient times, crossing places like that were revered, where the boundaries between our world and another are thin and indistinguishable."

"See? Creepy," Laura confirms.

"I love the saltmarsh!" Kate interjects excitedly. "The sea lavender blooms and makes a purple ocean!"

"You've been out to the saltmarsh, Kate?" Laura asks in surprise.

Kate nods. "We live there. Mummy and I go out there all the time. Daddy came with us to the beach last week," she informs them proudly.

The revelation that Ruth and Kate live out in the saltmarsh seems to go over very badly. Both Laura and Rebecca are quiet, just eating their dinner. Nelson keeps his head down. Ruth feels extremely uncomfortable but doesn't know what to do about it. She knows Nelson agrees with his daughters. He hates the saltmarsh, hates that Ruth and Kate live there. But that cottage is hers and she loves it more than anything and could never imagine living anywhere else.

That's another thing Ruth will have to keep in mind going forward. Nelson wanting to be with them and to try for…something. Ruth wants that too, of course, but Nelson doesn't like her house. And Ruth cannot even contemplate giving up her home for him. A problem for another day, surely.

"So what do you do when Dad isn't calling you about bones he finds?" Rebecca asks, cutting the awkward silence.

"I teach at University of North Norfolk. Mostly graduate courses in archaeology these days. I've got one summer tutorial at the moment," Ruth replies.

"Did you always know you wanted to be an archaeologist?" Laura asks with interest.

Ruth smiles. No one's really ever asked her that before. It's a very nice question. "Sort of. I read History at university. But then I took one archaeology course and that was it for me. The combination of science and history and art and mythology has always interested me about it. And I was lucky to have extremely wonderful tutors who inspired my love of the work."

Laura smiles at that. "What's your favorite part about it?"

"Archaeology and my study of bones is really all about the study of humanity. How people were treated at death and saved for posterity tells us a lot about how they lived and what was important to them and what their world was like. There aren't a lot of answers in my work, but there's clues. There's ideas and hints about what things might have been. And there's a comfort for me at least in gaining the gift of those hints from those that lived long before us," Ruth answers. She surprises herself, actually. She's not usually so eloquent. But she genuinely loves her work and enjoys talking about it to people who are interested.

"And digging!" Kate adds.

Ruth laughs. "Yes, there's a lot of digging. Hard work, but good work." She looks at her daughter to smile at her but pauses. "Kate, you've got spaghetti all over your face."

Nelson steps in at that point. He takes Kate's napkin from her lap and helps wipe her mouth. "There you are, love. All clean. And now you can eat some of your salad."

The expression on Kate's face is one that Ruth knows very well. Her daughter is about to launch into a tantrum.

But it looks like the others all notice and leap into action. "Salad's really good, Kate," Laura tells her. "It makes you really strong and healthy and you'll feel great."

"Yeah," Rebecca agrees, "And Laura made this salad. I don't usually like salads but I really like it when she makes it."

Nelson is grateful for his daughters' assistance. "Just try one bite, Katie. Just for Laura. Please?" He looks over and sees Ruth look at him warningly. She's got no faith that this will work. And for a moment, he thinks she's right.

But then, miracle of miracles, Kate takes her fork and stabs a piece of lettuce and a crouton. And with an extremely suspicious look on her little face, she puts the fork in her mouth. She chews and looks like she's about to cry. But everyone is watching her, and she eventually swallows. She turns to Nelson. "Daddy, do I have to eat any more?" she asks quietly.

"No, you don't have to eat any more if you don't want to. But thank you for taking one bite." He can't help but look over to Ruth and smirk. She just shakes her head with a small chuckle.

"Kate, can I ask what you didn't like about the salad?"

The little girl turns to Laura, considering for a moment. "Slimy," is all she replies.

Laura smiles at that. "Okay. Maybe the next time we see each other, you can help me make a salad and we can figure out if we can make one you like?" she offers.

Kate nods in agreement. Ruth leans over to Laura to say, "That's really sweet of you. I have the worst time getting her to eat any veg."

"Veg is my specialty," Laura boasts.

Nelson feels his heart swell with pride. All his girls. All together, all getting along. He can almost envision meals like this in the future. Laura and Rebecca coming to visit him and Ruth and Katie. One day in the future when they're all settled. Katie can spend more time with her sisters. They can all be a family.

But as quickly as he warms with that thought, an icy feeling takes hold of him. He really ought to call Michelle. She should know what's going on, that Laura and Rebecca have met Katie and Ruth. And he really does need to move the divorce along. The sooner the better, really.

Soon after his triumphant win of the bet in getting Katie to eat salad, the meal is over. Ruth and Kate have to go back home, though it pains him to see them go. He never likes saying goodbye to them.

He picks up his little girl and kisses her cheek. "Thanks for coming over today, Katie," he tells her. "Did you have a nice time?"

She nods enthusiastically. "I like your house, Daddy. Next time, can I bring my Sylvanians?"

"I'm not going to be living in this house for too much longer," he explains. "But I'll be coming over to your house again soon, and we can play with your Sylvanians then."

Kate does not seem overly concerned with the sale of the house, which is for the best.

Nelson puts Kate down and turns to Ruth, suddenly feeling very awkward saying goodbye to her. They've said goodbye in a friendly and chaste way a million times. But nowadays, their relationship is so compartmentalized. And he's having trouble keeping to himself this time.

"Hey Kate, do you have any toys in your mum's car?" Rebecca asks suddenly.

Kate begins excitedly explaining, and Ruth hands Laura her keys. The girls take Kate outside to the car. Rebecca looks behind her and winks at her father.

"Seems like we have a supporter," Ruth notes. She seems shocked by this and really, so is he.

"I'll take whatever I can from them. I don't want you to leave partly so I'm not left alone to hear their opinions," he notes.

Ruth regards him curiously. "Do you think they hate me?"

"No, I think they really like you," he assures her. "But it's sort of weird, my daughters telling me they like the woman I'm seeing."

"Hmm," she hums.

"What?"

"I don't think I've really ever thought of us like that. That we're… 'seeing each other' but I suppose we are."

"Well, why don't we work on the semantics another time, and if it's alright, I'd like to kiss you goodbye before the girls come looking for us," he says.

Ruth smiles, which is something he thinks he might never get used to. She's so bloody beautiful when she smiles. Just radiant and wonderful. And she's still smiling when he wraps her in his arms and leans in to press his lips to hers. She puts one hand around his waist and one on the back of his neck, and he can't help but deepen the kiss. But far too soon, she pulls away.

Nelson rests his forehead against hers. "I feel like it's been an age since I've done that."

"Four days," she informs him.

"Has it?"

"When you left on Thursday morning."

He smiles. "Four days is a long time. Can I come over Tuesday?"

She tilts her head up just slightly and kisses him once more. "Please. And you did win the bet, so start thinking of how you'd like to spend your winnings."

Nelson cannot help but skim his hands down the curve of her spine and give her bum a squeeze. "I'm already thinking about it."

Ruth gives an uncharacteristically adorable squeal and jumps away from him. Nelson just laughs happily. "I cannot believe you sometimes," she says, laughing with him.

"I think you'd agree, Ruth, the sex is really good."

She blushes bright red. "Yes, it is."

He smiles. "Alright, go take Katie home before I can't think of anything but shagging you." He gives her one more quick kiss. "I'll call you tomorrow night, and I'll see you Tuesday," he says.

Ruth nods. "Good."

And with that, he opens the front door for her to wave her and Katie off. Laura and Rebecca come stand beside him as they watch Ruth's Renault drive off down the road.


	25. Chapter 25

_Chapter Twenty-Five_

"Wow, you weren't kidding," Rebecca says as soon as Ruth's car is out of view.

"About what?" Nelson answers warily.

"She's different."

Rebecca moves past him and goes into the house. Laura looks at her dad with a very strange look in her eyes and sighs, following her sister inside. Nelson is left standing there wondering what the hell all of that was about. Well, he won't find out staying out on the front step. He goes inside and locks up behind him. He sees Laura's blonde ponytail swish as she jogs up the stairs. Nelson just watches her go.

"It's gonna take her longer to get used to it, but she'll be fine. She didn't see what I saw."

He turns to Rebecca who is standing against the doorframe to the kitchen with her arms folded. "How do you mean?" he asks her.

"Not that I love walking in on my dad having a snog, but it was sort of…illuminating."

"Illuminating?" That's one of those media science terms Rebecca's learned in her university courses, he can tell.

Rebecca nods. "The way you interact with Ruth, I've never seen you like that with Mum. And Laura agrees, she just hasn't accepted it just yet. The way you kissed Ruth and the way you watch her and the way your hand sort of drifts to her…you were never like that with Mum."

Nelson nearly wants to defend himself, tell her that he and Michelle had been together for so long, that new love is all tactile and puppy eyes and such, but he can't bring himself to say the words. Because it's a lie. Yes, he'd fallen head over heels with Michelle when he was twenty-three, but even then, he'd not felt this same kind of aching need for her the way he did for Ruth. He'd not realized his hands drifted to Ruth when she was near, but he wasn't surprised. He just had to touch her as much as he could. He wasn't sure why. But he did. He wanted her and needed her. And once the levies of self-restraint were broken, he could hardly hold himself back anymore.

"I understand what you meant now, that you and Mum weren't as happy as you could have been. I didn't know you were unhappy with her, Dad," Rebecca says sadly.

"Honestly, I didn't either. It wasn't till Mum left that I really thought about it," he admits.

Rebecca crosses over to him and hugs him around the middle. "I'm really glad you're happier now," she says, her voice muffled against his shirt.

Nelson holds her close and kisses her hair. "Me too, love. Thanks for being understanding."

She pulls away to look up at him, still in his embrace. "Did you think I wouldn't be?"

"Not at first, no," he confesses, trying to smile to keep it light. "You weren't my biggest fan when Mum and I called you both to tell you."

"Well I was sort of right, wasn't I? I mean, you did have an affair. But that's not the reason you guys split up."

He nods. "It almost was back when Mum found out."

"When did she find out?" Rebecca asks.

Nelson realizes that in the two days of shouting and fighting over the revelation of Katie's existence, he'd not actually shared too many details, particularly not on the timing. "A few years ago."

"But after Kate was born?"

"Yes."

"And when did you know you were in love with Ruth?"

"Probably just before Kate was born."

Rebecca hugs him again. "Poor Dad."

"Why poor me?" he asks, confused.

"That you spent all that time being less happy than you could have been. That you loved Ruth and couldn't be with her. That you were trying to be a good husband and it made you sad."

Nelson strokes her hair comfortingly. "I always think of Laura as the sensitive one, but you're very intuitive. I'm glad you got that empathy from your mother."

"I think I got some off it from you, too," she replies. "You're a really good dad, and I'm glad you can be there for Katie now."

"Thanks," he murmurs. There's a lump in his throat from all the outpour of emotion. He's somehow got Rebecca's blessing and support in his pursuit of Ruth and Katie. That had not been anything he'd ever expected. But she's a clever girl, his Rebecca. And he loves her so much, he suddenly feels he might burst with it.

At the same time Nelson is having a quiet moment of understanding with Rebecca, Ruth is feeling increasingly anxious as she drives home with Kate. Her daughter is chatting happily in the backseat, going on and on and on about how wonderful Laura and Rebecca are and hoping that they liked her and being absolutely over the moon about having sisters. Ruth does not respond too much, letting her prattle away.

In truth, Ruth cannot manage to string two words together at the moment. Everything about the last two weeks has been the biggest rollercoaster she can imagine. One minute she's with Nelson and feeling happier than she ever has in her life and wanting him to hold her and never let her go. The next minute, the crashing doubt overtakes her again and she's wondering what the bloody hell he could possibly see in her and how they could ever manage to have any kind of future together that didn't end with him growing bored with her and breaking her heart.

And as she's pondering this never-ending dilemma, she drives up to her cottage and sees the motion-activated porchlight on. Before she can be concerned about what could have set it off, Kate squeals, "Cathbad's here!"

"Of course he is," she mutters. She parks the car and takes Kate from the child's seat. And there, sitting on the front porch step with Flint in his lap is Cathbad.

"Hallo Hecate," he greets.

On any given day, Ruth cannot decide if she is more annoyed by Cathbad's use of an ancient goddess or Nelson's use of 'Katie' for her daughter's name. At the moment, she's slightly happier with 'Katie.'

Kate, however, adores her druid-style name. She goes right over to give their friend a hug. "Cathbad, did you bring us chocolate cake?"

He smiles. "Not today. I came to speak to your mother."

"Don't you want to hear about my sisters?" Kate asks, picking up Flint to snuggle him.

Ruth watches Cathbad and sees absolutely no surprise on his face. He answers, "I would love to hear about your sisters. Maybe you can tell me while you mum feeds Flint."

Well, he worked that out rather neatly, Ruth thinks. She unlocks the front door and lets everyone inside. Kate puts Flint on the floor so he can wind his fluffy body around Ruth's ankles, nearly tripping her as he does every evening. "Yes, I'm getting your dinner now," she murmurs.

Cathbad sits on the sofa with Kate while Ruth goes to the kitchen with the cat. She listens as Kate excitedly tells Cathbad about Laura with her pretty blonde hair and her strange love of veg and about Rebecca who is funny and nice and got her a strawberry ice pop and how the three of them watched Frozen with their Dad and isn't it wonderful they've all got the same Dad?

Ruth puts the food in the dish for Flint and sits down at the kitchen table. She can hide from Cathbad for a little while. She is dreading whatever it is he wants to talk to her about. He has a very otherworldly quality about him, always turning up exactly when he's needed, always knowing what's happening without anyone saying. And she knows that he will somehow force her to say things out loud about this whole mess that she's just not ready to confront just yet. Or maybe this will be something entirely different. That would be nice. But Ruth knows she's not that lucky.

A _ding_ sounds in her purse. Ruth fishes her phone out and sees that she's got a text from Nelson. She reads it and smiles.

**Thanks for today.**

Ruth is still staring at the message and smiling when Cathbad enters the kitchen. She feels strangely ready to talk now.


	26. Chapter 26

_Chapter Twenty-Six_

"Hecate managed to answer most of my questions and create many more," Cathbad says in greeting.

Ruth nearly tells him that children are like that, but she does not want to appear flippant. She knows him being here to talk to her is a good thing. She knows she needs to talk to someone, someone who will be kind and understanding and not judge her. And Cathbad certainly fits that bill. "Kate's very excited about meeting her sisters," Ruth begins.

Cathbad nods. "Laura and Rebecca are lovely girls. I'm glad they got on with Kate."

"Me too," Ruth says. "I didn't know if they would. I was worried they might hate me and hate Kate for even existing because of what it means about their parents."

"The girls are grown. They were upset at first, I'm sure, but they're understanding souls."

Ruth just nods. From what Nelson had said and from the interactions Ruth had with them, she believes Cathbad was right.

"Kate obviously enjoyed herself. How about you? I know you've met the girls before, but not in a context like this."

That is certainly true. And Ruth feels the sudden need to laugh. "You know what it was like? Being twenty and meeting your boyfriend's parents for the first time."

Cathbad smiles. "Quite the opposite arrangement, but I can imagine it would be a similar feeling."

"Well, it's more overwhelming because of Kate. She's the most important part of all of this," Ruth insists.

He just nods.

She continues, "It was actually really nice. I think they liked me. Which is…odd, actually. They're such lovely girls. They both were so lovely to Kate, I couldn't help but cry. I don't think they saw me, thank god, but Nelson took me into the kitchen for a cup of tea while the girls watched Frozen."

"Oh Kate loved that."

"Yes, she did," Ruth says, smiling. "And Nelson and I talked, and he's…I don't know if I really knew he could be so…"

"So what?"

Ruth tries to find the right words and only lands on one. "Romantic."

"Nelson and I are very different, but I think men generally have a sense of romance that presents itself with things like this. I know it was like that for me with Judy."

"How do you mean?" she asks, somewhat wary.

"I know you don't believe in them, and I doubt Nelson does either, but the term 'soulmate' seems to fit. It cannot always be explained, but sometimes the soul, the very deepest part of the heart, sees its match inside another. There's not much we can do to control it or prevent it. But when it happens, we are irrevocably changed."

Ruth feels a pit of nervousness in her stomach at his words. "And that's you and Judy? Soulmates?"

"It's the only way I know to explain our connection. The same with you and Nelson."

Soulmate is not a term she would have ever imagined using in any context, let alone with Nelson of all people. She loves him, yes, she's been in love with him for years. But in a fantasy sort of way. Not in the Cathy and Heathcliff, Darcy and Elizabeth, Romeo and Juliet kind of way.

Cathbad watches her process this for a moment before he offers, "Regardless of the terminology, don't you feel that your life has been changed by his presence? Don't you feel as though you have become your truest self when you are with him?"

"I don't…I don't know," she answers truthfully. And she doesn't know. Is she really a different person for having met him? Perhaps in some ways. Is she her truest self when she's with him? She's even less sure of that.

"What about Kate?" he offers.

And _that_ is the heart of it, to be sure. Ruth had never really wanted children. Had never really given it much thought. But it started with Lucy Downey, the case that put her with Nelson and ended up giving her a daughter. Nelson had made her a mother, and that was certainly her truest self. Even when she is panicked about doing everything wrong and has no idea what she's doing, Ruth is her truest self as Kate's mum.

"And what about when the three of you are together?"

There again, Cathbad has pinpointed it. Being a family with Kate and with Nelson, the three of them together, even tonight at dinner with Rebecca and Laura with them, that has felt better than anything. Ruth knows that its somehow supposed to be that way. And yet…

"What's troubling you, Ruthie?" Cathbad asks.

He always seems to know when something is wrong. That druid sense of his. "I'm afraid," she confesses. She's not said that aloud before. She had touched on it with her fight with Nelson, but this is the truth.

"What are you afraid of?" His voice is soft and gentle, making her feel safe and vulnerable.

"What if everything changes? Kate and me, the two of us, we've got a good life. I…I know how to be her mum, when it's just the two of us. I don't want to share her and have it be different. And…and even if it's a better kind of different, what if he realizes I'm not enough? What if I get used to life with him and then he leaves?"

Cathbad reaches out and takes her hands in his. They are rough, his hands, and she does not know why she'd expected them to be soft. His thumbs stroke gently over the backs of her hands, and he gazes at her with that sense of ancient magic he has in moments like this. "Why would you ever think you're not enough? Why would he ever leave?"

Ruth realizes she does not know the answer to those questions. Why isn't she enough? Other than being fat and boring and stubborn and reclusive, all of which Nelson already knows about her, she's not so bad. And Nelson has tried so hard to tell her how much he wants them to be together. He's been patient and flexible throughout all of this. He's been wonderful, more wonderful than she'd imagined possible. But there's still that lingering doubt that she genuinely does not know the source of.

When Ruth doesn't answer, Cathbad speaks again. "I think you underestimate our Nelson. But more than that, you underestimate yourself. And if you could be brave enough to let him prove it to you, I think you'll be all the happier for it."

This makes Ruth think about when she had seen Judy at her wedding to Darren, how unhappy she had been. Judy had not been brave enough to leave Darren and go to Cathbad as she'd wanted to. Not then. Eventually, she had. Eventually things had worked themselves out. But it took two years. Is that what Ruth wants? To live afraid but safe, clinging to her comfortable routine for years before finally taking a chance and letting Nelson make her happy? And, even worse, what if she is too afraid to choose him and he doesn't wait for her as Cathbad had done for Judy? What if Ruth misses her chance?

As Ruth ponders her future with Cathbad holding her hands, Nelson is sitting in the den on the phone with Michelle. He tells her about the weekend, about finally telling the girls about Ruth and Katie and how they'd all met and how good it had gone. And Michelle is happy for him. That surprises him slightly. She's always been kind and understanding—she'd not left him when she first found out about Ruth for that reason—but she seems genuinely happy for him, not just in a nice sort of way.

"You're taking all this very well," he notes.

"I had a feeling this would happen. I hoped it would, at least. That you could be with Ruth and Kate and have it all work out."

"Really?" he asks in slight disbelief.

"Really," Michelle assures him. "I didn't want to leave you alone or leave you with nothing. I didn't want you to suffer. I didn't want to punish you. I wanted more for me and I wanted more for you."

"How's the move to Exeter coming along?" he asks, hoping that she's getting more for her life just as he is for his.

Michelle hesitates. "Actually, that's on hold. Possibly indefinitely."

"Oh?"

"I've…I've met someone."

"Really!?" He shouldn't be so surprised at that. Michelle is the most beautiful woman in the world. It would not be difficult for her to turn some man's head. A lot of men's heads, actually.

"I didn't mean for it to happen. We met at the gym. We got to talking. It's nothing, right now, but I've got a good feeling about him."

"What's he like?" Nelson asks. It should not be this easy, he thinks, to ask his wife—for Michelle is still technically his wife—about the man she's interested in. But she's been so supportive of him and Ruth that it's only fair he show her the same kindness.

"He's a police officer, actually. I didn't even know for a while. But he's quiet and kind. Young, actually. He's thirty-three."

_Jesus wept_, Nelson thinks to himself, thankfully not out loud. Michelle is forty-six and she's dating a man thirteen years younger. Well, good for her.

"His name is Tim. He couldn't be more different from you in demeanor and looks, but he works for your old squad here in Blackpool. Sort of funny, really."

"Young and fit, definitely nothing like me," he teases.

Michelle laughs, and they're both pleased they can talk this openly. "He's young and extremely fit and he's black, actually. But he's quiet and hard-working like you, so I guess I do have something of a type. Though I think the differences between you and Tim are about as many as between me and Ruth," she points out.

"It's like you said, we've grown over the years. In different ways. This is for the best," he says softly.

"Yeah, it is."

They talk a little longer, more about the logistics of selling the house and getting the divorce moving forward. Her lawyer is going to be the one to file with the court and send the papers to his lawyer. They've both agreed to split up the property evenly between them with her getting the proceeds from the house sale and him keeping his inheritance from his mother. Neither of them is going to fight anything, and if there aren't any delays with the courts, they should be divorced in a few months.

The simplicity of it all does not make him sad. Not the way it had when the prospect had first been put to him when she left. No, hearing that Michelle has found someone and now knowing that Laura and Rebecca like Ruth and Kate, he's feeling very at peace with everything. He's not known to be an optimistic sort of man, but Nelson somehow feels that everything is going to be alright.


	27. Chapter 27

_Chapter Twenty-Seven_

On Monday, both Rebecca and Laura have to leave, and Nelson has to go back to work. After seeing his daughters off, thankfully with loving and happy goodbyes, he's able to get through a relatively normal day at the police station. Judy and Tanya—much to Judy's chagrin—are working on a drugs case and Cloughie is working on a recent string of robberies. So far, nothing much that needs Nelson's direct involvement. He's able to go home at a reasonable time and cook himself some supper and call Ruth.

He tells her about what he'd discussed with Michelle, the details of the divorce and so on. He also tells her that he spoke to his divorce lawyer on the phone that morning and it seems Michelle signed the petition and her lawyer is mailing it to him to sign and send back for filing. Things are progressing very nicely on that front.

Ruth in turn tells him about her day with Kate. They went to the market and apparently shopping with Kate is always a bit of an adventure. She likes to explore and ask questions and her youthful energy makes getting anything done efficiently quite challenging for Ruth. Nelson listens and sympathizes and hopes to himself that one day he can be around to help with things like that. Might be fun, actually. Doing the shopping for Ruth so she can stay home with Katie. Or staying with their daughter while she does the shopping. Or the three of them could go together and Nelson can keep Katie occupied while Ruth does what needs doing. What a nice thought.

"We still on for tomorrow?" he asks after she's finished telling him about her day.

"Yes."

Her voice sounds a bit odd, so he asks, "Anything wrong?"

"No, not wrong, just…"

"Just what?"

Ruth pauses on the line as she considers her words. "Are you really planning on doing…things?"

"Are you still worried about my winning that stupid bet? Ruth, I want it to be fun for us both, and it won't be if you're upset like this," he grumbles. And it's the truth. He's frustrated by her reticence and the idea that she wouldn't trust him at this point.

"I just don't like not knowing!" she insists angrily.

"You haven't known exactly what we've been doing before, have you? Do you usually have sex with a program laid out for you?" he asks sarcastically.

"No, but I don't normally know that you've got plans in mind that I don't know about!" she fires back.

"Jesus wept, Ruth, do you need me to tell you?" he snaps.

She pauses for a fraction of a second. "Actually, I think I'd like that."

He's taken aback. He'd not expected her to say that. He'd also not expected to have to say his plans out loud to her.

"If you don't want to, you don't have to. I'm sorry, that was a stupid thing for me to say," she says hurriedly, backtracking.

"No, if it'll help you feel better, I'll tell you," he replies quickly.

"If you don't mind…" Ruth cannot believe what she's saying. She cannot believe she's actually asking Nelson to describe what he wants to do to her…sexually. This must be the most un-English thing they've ever done. Certainly one of the most un-Catholic things he's ever done, she imagines. The both of them are repressed, to be sure, her as an academic with Born Again nutters for parents and him with his strict Catholic upbringing that he's not grown out of as much as he might otherwise think. Sex is something they've certainly enjoyed over the years and especially together, but it's not something they ever talk about!

"I'm going to make you come three times," he growls.

"Oh!" she exclaims. Goodness, he's certainly gone right in for that.

"Too much?" he asks nervously.

"If we can manage it, that would be incredible," she quips.

He chuckles. "I mean, is that too much for me to say?"

"I…erm…" Ruth feels her face growing warm. They really are not built like this. But when he'd said…what he'd said…she had felt a powerful flash of arousal. "No, not too much to say. I sort of liked it."

"Then I'll also tell you that I want to go down on you again like I did that night after we went to the beach. I loved that, getting to taste you and feel you against my mouth."

Ruth whimpers quietly into the phone. Arousal pools between her legs as she recalls vividly what he'd done to her then and how it might be tomorrow night when he's back in her bed once again.

Nelson continues, "And then after I want you on top of me."

"What?" she squeaks, appalled at making that sound but too startled by the notion to care.

"What's wrong?" he asks worriedly.

Ruth's mind is spinning. What's wrong? What isn't wrong!? The entire notion of climbing on top of him when she's naked, being bared to him, being watched like that…it's almost too much to think of. "Why would you want that?" she asks, hoping to turn it onto him so she doesn't have to answer that question.

"I want to see you and feel you when I'm inside of you," he replies earnestly.

Oh damn him for that. Why does he want those things? Ruth hates that she's still a little turned on in spite of her insecure anxiety, that the thought of him inside of her is almost enough to make her concerns go away. "But why?" she asks.

"Why what?" He's confused and sounds like he's getting annoyed at her again.

Ruth huffs slightly, steeling herself. "Why would you want to see me like that?"

"Oh."

"Oh?"

"Well I…I think you're beautiful. And I l…"

"You what?" she presses, despite the way her heart is pounding in her chest. She thinks she knows what he'd been about to say and she does not know if she wants him to say it or not.

"I like to see you during sex and watch you when you're enjoying it. And if it really does bother you and you don't enjoy it, we don't have to do that. But I'd like to at least try. Since I did succeed in getting Kate to eat salad," he says, ending his earnestness with a bit of teasing.

Well, she can't very well oppose that, can she? "Alright. But I am warning you that the idea of seeing me and the actual reality of it will probably put you off me altogether."

"I doubt it, but just in case, I'm sure you can change my mind back."

"How?" she asks curiously.

"Well, last week I learned you've got a gorgeous and very talented mouth."

She emits a slightly embarrassed giggle. "Oh do I?"

"Yes," he confirms. "Talented at lecturing about carbon dating and talented at kissing and very talented at sucking me off."

Ruth feels herself melting into the sofa, almost overcome by arousal. "Jesus," she breathes.

"Too much?"

"No, I didn't realize what a turn on it would be to hear you say things like that," she explains.

"That's good to know," he replies. She can hear the smile in his voice.


	28. Chapter 28

**A/N: M-rating **

_Chapter Twenty-Eight_

Ruth is nervous. She's been nervous all day. The anticipation should have been exciting and fun, like that day on the beach when she'd seen Nelson take his shirt off and spent the whole afternoon and evening with the quiet hum of arousal within her. But this isn't like that at all. She knows what's coming and she's terrified.

She barely slept after they got off the phone that night. All she could think about was the way he'd looked at her during sex before and the way that might change if she were to climb on top of him to have every fat, sagging part of her on display. He had said he wanted to see her that way, and she really could not imagine why. Neither of them are going to enjoy it if he does that, so why bother? Why can't he just let her lie there beneath him, why can't he just cover her unfortunate body with his glorious one? Well, he does look a bit middle aged. He's still strong and virile, but his belly is quite soft. He probably wasn't always that way, but he has been since Ruth has known him. But unlike the men she's been with before—academics and archaeologists and scientists for the most part—Nelson leads a very active life and his physical fitness is a vital part of his job. None of her other lovers had possessed muscles like Nelson and certainly none of them had scars like Nelson. The closest she's ever had to a man with battle wounds is Max who had his appendix out as an adult.

All of this whirls through her mind as she tries to work on her lesson plan for the next day and keep Kate occupied and decide on what to make for dinner for them all. She gets very little done during the day.

Nelson arrives early, at just after four in the afternoon. Ruth can't decide if she's grateful for that or not. Kate is happy, at any rate. She immediately wants to take him up to her room so they can play.

"I'll be up in just a moment, Katie. I need to talk to Mum for a minute first. You go up and I'll follow in a little while," he tells her. She does not like that response one bit but at least she has the good sense not to whine about it.

Ruth closes the door behind him. "I didn't think you were coming till later. I haven't really gotten anything started for dinner and I need to finish preparing for my tutorial tomorrow and I…"

Her rambling is cut off when he wraps one arm around her waist and pulls her against him and kisses her soundly. Ruth feels her heart speed into overdrive, and she's lightheaded when he pulls back. "Sorry, couldn't help it," he whispers.

"You wanted Kate to go upstairs just so you could kiss me?" she asks. Her voice is breathy, which makes her feel quite stupid.

"Yes. Bit of a preview of what's coming later," he teases. He wraps his other arm around her and gives her bum a sensuous squeeze.

Ruth whimpers, wishing she could stop herself. But she has very little self-control when it comes to Nelson. After all, it's not often any man wants her, let alone one she's madly in love with. She takes his face in her hands and pulls him back down into another kiss.

He pulls away again, before they can get too distracted and take things too far, which is for the best. Lord knows how Ruth is going to be able to focus on anything now. Nelson gives her one last quick kiss before letting go of her altogether and heading upstairs to join Kate.

Somehow, she does manage to finish her lesson preparation. And she starts cooking chicken and veg for dinner, getting everything in the oven before Flint comes over begging for his own dinner. She's just finished putting his bowl down when Kate runs into the kitchen.

"Mum, is it dinner time yet?"

"Almost," she answers. "Why don't you and Dad get washed up and then you can set the table for me?"

Kate likes a task, things that make her feel useful. She does not like chores, such as cleaning up her own things. Though neither does Ruth, so that's probably genetic. But Kate likes being part of what's going on, so Ruth does her best to include her in things that need to be done around the house that she can participate in.

"Smells great, Ruth," Nelson compliments, walking over to the kitchen sink to help Kate. Ruth just smiles in response.

They all have a perfectly nice dinner. Kate even manages to eat two whole carrots, to Ruth's amazement. The three of them then all do the dishes together. It's something out of a film, to Ruth's mind. Nelson washing dishes and flicking Ruth and Kate with water. Ruth helping Kate dry each dish and swatting Nelson with the towel. Kate plays with the soap bubbles, shrieking with joyful laughter. They're all laughing and happy. And for a moment, Ruth isn't nervous about what's to come.

As has become routine when Nelson spends the evenings with them, he takes Kate upstairs for bathtime and bedtime. Ruth finishes putting things away in the kitchen and tidying up downstairs. She also opens a bottle of wine and takes it with a couple glasses up to her bedroom. By the time she's all done, Nelson is reading a story to Kate, whose eyes are starting to get heavy.

"Goodnight, Kate," Ruth whispers, kissing her forehead. "Sleep well."

Nelson does the same, softly closing the book and shutting off the light. They close Kate's door firmly behind them.

"Our turn," he murmurs softly to her, putting his arm around her.

Ruth's heart flutters nervously again. "I've got some wine for us in the bedroom."

He grins. "Good."

Nelson has been waiting for this for two days now. Ever since he and Ruth made that dumb bet, he's thought about what he'd like to do with her. And he did tell her what he wants. She'd seemed nervous, and she seems nervous now. But he's fairly certain that he can get her worked up into that frenzy he loves to see her in. If he can control himself, he wants to try and make her come twice before he gets to be inside her. That should relax her.

They go into her bedroom and close the door. He pours the wine that she's put on her bedside table. They clink glasses and each take a sip. Ruth takes more of a gulp. Christ, she is nervous. "Alright?" he asks, just to see if she wants to talk about it.

"Fine," she lies. He can tell, her smile is tight and she almost looks as if she's shaking.

"Come here," he requests. He takes another sip of wine and puts his glass down as he sits on the edge of her bed. He takes Ruth's hand and pulls her onto his lap. She's not the daintiest thing, but he's more than able to have her sit on him like this. He wraps her up in his arms and starts kissing her neck. She takes another gulp of her wine and then reaches over to set the glass down beside his.

Ruth relaxes slightly as he caresses her skin with his lips and teeth and tongue. She gasps when he sucks hard on her pulse point. He's probably leaving a mark but he finds he wants to now. She is his, and he is hers, and that is all that matters.

His hand moves from her waist to her breast, kneading it through her loose blouse. She moans softly, and he smiles into her skin. She seems to hardly notice when he pulls her top off over her head.

Nelson deftly unhooks her bra with one hand and tosses it aside before catching her lips with his. Her tongue immediately enters his mouth, this time making him moan. He massages her bare breasts now, rougher than before. Ruth squirms on his lap, and he's getting harder by the second.

She pulls away, gasping for air. Her eyes are wild and dark, and he's sure his are just the same. "I want you naked," he growls.

Ruth blinks, taking a moment to understand, then stands up. She pulls her soft trousers and her knickers off and hurries to the bed and under the covers.

But Nelson doesn't want that. He wants to see and feel her. All of her. He pulls the covers off her and practically throws them off the bed. Nelson pulls his shirt off as fast as he can, kicking off his shoes and trousers and socks. He's watching Ruth all the while, and she's watching him, too. But he leaves his trunks on for now. He needs to keep control as long as he can. He wants to indulge in her. He wants to touch her, he wants to taste her, he wants to make her come apart. And most of all, he wants to prove to her that this is truly what he wants. _She_ is truly what he wants.

He climbs on the bed and hovers over her, kissing her passionately again before moving his mouth down to swirl his tongue over her breast. She gasps when his teeth graze over her tightly furled nipple, filling him with pride and arousal in a way he can hardly describe.

Onward he moves, trailing wet, open-mouthed kisses down the soft skin of her belly and spreading her legs with his hands. He loves her legs. Loves to squeeze the flesh of her thighs, loves to rest his cheek on their soft pillow, loves to feel them clench around him, loves to stare at the shape of them when she doesn't know he's watching. He presses a few kisses to her inner thighs before starting on his task in earnest.

Ruth cants her hips and grinds herself against his face as he licks and suckles at her. She's already so incredibly wet. He can practically feel her trembling. He sucks hard on her clit and she emits a muffled cry. Nelson looks up to see that she's biting her lip to keep from being too loud. Well, he'll let her keep quiet as best she can. He goes back down on her, sliding one finger inside her as his tongue vibrates her clit. Her body is still pulsating from her first orgasm, and Nelson is nearly at the end of his limit. But he wanted twice, and he'll hold out as long as he can. He adds another finger and moves his hand faster, curling up inside her.

The whimpering sounds increase and she's gasping his name. God but he loves the way she calls him Nelson in a benediction, almost. Ruth isn't religious, but he feels like this moment between them is divine. A blessing on them both.

"Come for me again, Ruth," he begs, wanting and needing her so much he can hardly breathe.

Her back arches off the bed as a sound rips from the back of her throat. Her hands are fisted in the bedsheet and her whole body jerks as she comes again. She's like a vice grip on his fingers as a rush of wetness lands on his tongue.

Nelson pulls away from her to pull off his trunks and lie on his back beside her. "Please, Ruth," he pleads.

She turns her head to him, panting and looking a bit dazed. And really, that's what he'd been hoping for. But her face changes suddenly. There's a flicker of fear in her eyes. He doesn't like that at all.

"Come here," he requests again, holding his arms out to her.

Slowly, she rolls over onto her stomach and crawls over to him. He smiles, trying to encourage her. The anticipation of it is killing him. To see and feel her ride him is surely going to be one of his dearest fantasies come true. She straddles him, leaning forward so their bodies are almost flush together. His cock slips inside her easily due to how wet she is, and Nelson hisses a swear. Ruth smiles slightly and leans in to kiss him.

They move together slowly. He's deep inside her, and the angle is good for him to rock and thrust into her as she moves on him. But this isn't what he wanted. Christ, she feels so good, but Nelson wants more. "Sit up. Please. Let me see you," he begs.

The look on her face says it all. She very much does not want to sit up for him to see her. And she just crumples. Tears fill her eyes and her body trembles, this time from distress, and she rolls away so he slips out of her and curls up with her back to him.

Nelson is bereft from the loss of her, but this reaction from her has cooled his lust. "Ruth, love, come here, what's wrong?" he asks, curling up behind her body and holds her.

"Why?" she asks in a harsh whisper.

"Why what?" he asks in return, rubbing her arm soothingly.

"Why would you want to see me? It doesn't make any sense!" Her breath is hitched and he's almost sure she's crying but he can't quite see her face.

Nelson forces himself to think and find the words before answering. The last thing he wants is to upset her further. "I think you're beautiful," he tells her. He'd said the same thing on the phone last night, but he wants to explain further now. "Your body is gorgeous and I want to see it. And I thought that getting to look up at you while you ride me might be…"

"What?" she asks when he trails off.

"Might be the most erotic thing I've ever seen," he finishes.

She shakes her head in disbelief. "I don't understand. I'm not beautiful, I'm not very good with people, I'm stubborn and fat and insecure, none of which are attractive qualities. Why do you want anything to do with me?"

Nelson growls in frustration, "Because I love you, you daft woman."

Ruth whips her head around in shock. "What!?"

He pulls her into his arms as she rolls back over toward him. He brushes her tears away and kisses her softly. "I love you. And even if you do think you're stubborn and fat and insecure, I love you anyway."

She still stares in disbelief. "Why?"

Half of him is bloody annoyed with her and the other half wants to laugh. "If you let me think about it when the blood from my brain isn't collected in my cock, I'll give you a list of reasons. But right now, would you just believe me when I tell you?"

"This can't be real," she whispers.

"Well, if it's not, we're sharing the most nightmarish fantasy."

Her brow furrows. "Nightmarish?"

"Yes, I don't think either of us fantasize about you starting to cry during sex, Ruth," he points out.

She wraps her arms around him and presses her face into his neck. "I'm so sorry," she says, muffled against his skin.

"I just want you to be alright, love. I want you to enjoy," he tells her.

"I was enjoying," she says, pulling back to look at him again. "That was incredible. Before, well…"

"I know. We don't need to try that again until you feel ready for it. I'm sorry I pushed you."

"It's my fault," she insists.

He's not going to argue with her on that count. But she's stopped crying, which is a step in the right direction.

"I love you too, you know," Ruth adds with a small smile.

Nelson's smile at her words isn't small in the least. "Yeah?"

"Yeah," she replies.

He pulls her back into another kiss, this time with the passion reignited between them. Ruth hitches her leg up over his hip, and he slips back inside her. His erection had flagged but it was coming back properly now. They continue that way, thrusting against each other with their bodies flush together. They come at almost exactly the same time, whispering their love for each other into their kisses.


	29. Chapter 29

_Chapter Twenty-Nine_

Nelson is having a very nice dream. He isn't quite sure what it is or what's happening. But Ruth is there. And Katie. And they're happy. His girls are happy and smiling in his arms and his whole being feels light and warm. Everything is perfect. Nelson knows he's dreaming but he doesn't want to wake up. Reality isn't too far off from this perfect dream, but it isn't quite the same. Not yet. He wants to stay in the dream just a little longer.

There's a tapping on his arm. His mind leaves the dream gently, thankfully. And before opening his eyes, he recognizes the smell and the feel of his surroundings and he knows where he is. He's lying on his stomach in Ruth's bed. His arms are folded under the pillow beneath his head. There's a cool chill on his back from where the bedsheets have fallen down by his waist.

More tapping. He grumbles and turns his head toward the taps, wondering what the hell Ruth's doing tapping him without saying anything. She's not one to keep her mouth shut.

But then his eyes blink open and he's met by a face that is decidedly not Ruth's. Because turns out Ruth is lying on his other side, still dead asleep.

"Hallo, Daddy."

Nelson feels his heart stop and his stomach drop. But he tries to keep calm. "Hallo, love. What are you doing in here? Did you have a bad dream?" he asks softly. His voice is gravelly from sleep, but he tries to keep quiet to not wake Ruth before he figures out a way to explain.

Katie shakes her head. "It's morning, and I wanted to have pancakes. Daddy, why are you here?" she asks curiously.

He counts himself lucky that she's not asked him why he's not wearing any clothes. He can feel the blanket covering his bum at least. "Katie," he ventures, quietly pleading that this might work, "could you go feed Flint, do you think? It would help Mummy a lot if you could."

Thankfully, she nodded. "One cup, right?"

Nelson has no bloody clue how much food the cat gets but a bit too much or too little for one meal won't hurt him. Hopefully. So he lies, "Yes, that's right. Be careful and take your time and then come back up here when you're done, alright?"

Kate nods again and goes out the bedroom door. As soon as she's gone, Nelson tears out of bed.

As he's pulling on his trunks and looking for his shirt, he snaps, "Ruth, wake up."

His sharp tone alerts her immediately. She sits up, looking around wildly. "What's wrong?" she asks, pulling the sheet up over her bare chest.

"Put some clothes on. Katie'll be back in a minute."

"What!?" she shrieks.

"We overslept. She came in and started tapping my arm and wanted pancakes. I sent her down to feed the cat. One cup of food, whatever that means. She asked me why I'm here, and we've got to tell her something."

"What did you say when she asked?" Ruth asks in return, searching the floor for her bra and knickers.

"I told her to feed the cat!"

Ruth put on her top and made a noise somewhere between a laugh and a sob. "Nelson, what the hell are we going to do?" she asks in a panic once her head pops through the hole in the shirt.

The anxiety is rolling off her in palpable waves, so Nelson realizes he's got to be the calm one for now. This is what they do, the two of them. One of them gets upset and the other is calm. Sometimes it's Nelson getting angry over a difficult case or stupid circumstance and Ruth settling him down and pointing him right. And sometimes it's Ruth worrying about a million things and Nelson help reassure and soothe her. The latter situation is upon them now.

Nelson pulls on his own shirt and crosses around to her side of the bed. Ruth looks like she's about to cry.

"Come here, love," he murmurs gently. He pulls her into his arms, holding her tight. He can feel her relax infinitesimally. "It's going to be alright. She was going to find out sometime. And it's better now than a week ago."

"Why?" she asks, looking up at him.

He kisses her softly. "Because last night I told you I love you and you told me you love me, too, and we can tell Katie and I think that's a good thing."

Ruth has to admit he has a point. "I do love you," she says. It's nice to say out loud, finally, after so long not being able to.

Nelson smiles at her almost as widely as he did last night. His whole face lights up, overjoyed by the fact that she loved him. "I love you," he replies.

"Mummy, can we have pancakes now?"

She and Nelson pull apart suddenly when they hear Kate's voice. Ruth steels herself for what's about to come. All she can do is remind herself that it's going to be alright. Nelson loves her. Nelson still wants her, somehow. She'd panicked and done the worst possible thing in bed with him, and he'd not left her. And now he's here with her, ready to tell their daughter. She can do this. They can do this. "Come here, Kate," Ruth beckons. She pulls the sheets up on the bed and holds her arms out to her daughter.

As they've done a million times before, Kate crawls over the bed to where her mother is waiting and they snuggle up together. "I want pancakes," Kate demands again.

"We will in a little while," Ruth appeases. She's not entirely sure she's got any pancake mix in, but hopefully she can figure something out later. "We want to talk to you for a minute first."

"But Dad said we could have pancakes after I fed Flint and I did!" she whines.

Ruth looks over to Nelson who is standing by the bed looking quite awkward. She tilts her head to indicate that he should join them. "Kate, did you wonder why Dad was in my bed?" she asks.

"Yeah, but Dad didn't say because sometimes grownups don't answer questions when they don't want to," Kate replies wisely.

Both Nelson and Ruth have a little laugh at that. But Ruth knows she's the one who has to answer this question. "Well, we'll answer your questions now. As best we can. And as for that first one, Dad is in my bed because sometimes he comes over to spend the evening with us and after you go to sleep, he stays over in here with me."

Kate frowns and turns to Nelson, who is lying on the other side of her with his head propped up on his elbow. "Why?" she asks him simply.

"Sometimes grownups like to spend the night together. And I love your mum, and I love when I get to spend the night with her," Nelson tells her.

Ruth feels herself blush horribly.

"Are you going to stay here all the time now?" Kate asks him.

But Ruth answers this one for him. "Dad's got his own house still. He can't be staying here all the time. Besides, Dad doesn't like the saltmarsh." It is a bit of a sore spot with her still, but she doesn't want Kate to get the impression that Nelson is going to move in or, even worse, for Nelson to feel pressured to do so. He hates the cottage and the saltmarsh, and Ruth knows it. And Ruth's stubborn insistence on remaining there will be a topic for another time.

Kate, thankfully, takes that at face value, and Nelson doesn't argue. Kate turns back to her mother and asks, "Are you going to get married now?"

Ruth chokes on her own spit at that question, so Nelson answers on her behalf. "We haven't talked about that. And even though Auntie Michelle left, she and I are still married until the courts say we're not. And that'll be at least a month or so. Too soon to talk about anyone getting married," he explains. "But not being married doesn't change the fact that Mum and I love each other and we love you most of all. And I hope it's okay that I come and stay over sometimes so I can see you both."

"What about Laura and Rebecca?" Kate asks with concern. "Are they going to stay here, too?"

"No, Rebecca goes to school and Laura has her job, so they live on their own. They had to go back to their homes yesterday. But hopefully they can come visit us all again soon."

Kate smiles at that. "I like my sisters, Dad."

Nelson leans in to kiss her little face. "I'm so glad, Katie. And they like you, too. I want all my girls to be safe and happy. That's all that matters."

He looks up and catches Ruth's eye. And she knows that he includes her in that statement. His girls. Laura and Rebecca and Kate and Ruth. And strangely, Ruth finds herself pleased to be included in the list.

"Kate," Ruth says, calling her daughter's attention back to her. "How about we go have breakfast now?"

"Pancakes!?" Kate asks excitedly.

Ruth laughs, "If we've got what we need, yes, we can have pancakes. And I know Dad has to go to work, but I bet he'd like to learn how to flip them like we like, what do you think?"

"Yeah, Dad, let's flip pancakes!" Kate squeals, tackling her father onto his back.

Nelson laughs and holds her in his arms. He sits up and lifts her in the air. "Off we go, time for pancakes!" he announces.

Ruth follows them both down the stairs, feeling very happy indeed. For the time being, at least, everything seems to be working out quite well.


	30. Chapter 30

_Chapter Thirty_

Ruth has been distracted all day. After a strange night that ended so wonderfully with Nelson and a terrifying morning that also ended well with Nelson and Kate, Ruth had to go to teach her Wednesday tutorial.

Class had gone well. As well as could be expected for a summer graduate course. But there's really only so much she can say about isotope testing and the analysis of the result variances. And after class, she has to host office hours in case anyone has questions. Not that any of them do. There's still another few weeks before their term papers are due and then another two after that to revise for the exam. Ruth doesn't expect anyone to really need her till just before that paper is due, though she'll be quite busy answering emails and having meetings with students till the end of term after that.

Today, it's very quiet. Her poster of Indiana Jones sits merrily up on the wall. The shelves stuffed with research materials are growing a bit dusty. The sun shines outside her tiny window. Ruth should probably be working on writing the exam, since she's got the time now, but she finds she doesn't really want to. She's happy just daydreaming in her office.

How, in the span of about a month, had this happened? Michelle leaving. Nelson starting to spend more time with Kate and in Ruth's bed. All three daughters finding out about their relationship and meeting each other. And now she and Nelson have crossed the 'I love you' hurdle. And Kate knows about it and she's happy? How can this possibly all be real?

A sharp knock sounds on the partially open door, causing Ruth to jump.

"Oh, sorry." A stunning redhead saunters into the room, apologizing for scaring Ruth.

But Ruth smiles to see her friend. "What are you doing here?" she asks.

Shona sets herself elegantly in the seat beside Ruth's desk. "We got back from Mallorca yesterday. Phil's got work to do, so we tagged along to campus. Louis is having his nap right now in Phil's office so I thought I'd come see if you were still here after your tutorial."

"Technically it's my office hours, but no one's here," Ruth explains. "How was your trip?" Shona is looking tanned and beautiful and relaxed and happy, though other than the tan, Shona almost always looks like that.

"Oh it was a dream!"

Ruth just sits back and listens politely as Shona goes on and on about the incredible two weeks she and her partner and their son had spent on pristine beaches and eating incredible food and just having the best possible holiday. Shona is a bit much a lot of the time and often makes Ruth feel even worse about herself than usual, but she also knows that Shona likes to talk and share things and has very few people with whom she could do that. And Ruth knows that Shona, for all her maddening perfection, truly cares about Ruth as a friend.

And because she cares about Ruth, she finishes telling her stories and immediately asks, "And how have you been? What's been going on?"

For perhaps the first time in her life, Ruth smiles in response to that question. "Things are really good. I…erm…" She hesitates, realizing that she'll have to tell Shona what has been going on but strangely doesn't want to.

"You what?" Shona presses, laughing. "Ruth, you're blushing, what have you been up to!?"

"Well, about a week before you left on your trip, Michelle left."

Shona frowns, not quite following. "Michelle…"

"Nelson. Nelson's wife. She left him."

"WHAT!?" Shona shrieks.

Ruth shushes her with a laugh. It is sort of fun to tell someone who reacted so excitedly. "Yes, she left and moved in with her mother in Blackpool. She and Nelson have been talking and they've begun the divorce petition and they've got it all worked out. He's going to sell the house."

"Oh my god, that's unbelievable. Was there…I mean, did you know?"

She shakes her head. "Not till he showed up on my doorstep the night she left. He was in a really bad way. Came to see Kate and then told me what happened and slept on my sofa."

"Oh." Shona sounds very disappointed at that.

Ruth, not usually one for teasing or dramatics, just can't resist. "He hasn't been sleeping on my sofa anymore though. Just that one night."

"Well I should hope he hasn't. But now that Michelle's gone, do you think that you two will…"

"We have," Ruth confirms.

Shona's eyes go wide. "You have!? Oh my goodness, Ruth, you have to tell me everything! Are you together now? Does Kate know?"

This is what Ruth had been afraid of. She never really has enjoyed 'girl talk' like this. Especially when it is her own girl talk. "We're sort of together. Kate knows. As of this morning."

"Did she catch you?" Shona gasps.

"In a way. We forgot to set an alarm so she found Nelson in my bed."

The look on Shona's face tells Ruth that her friend is thinking how bloody glad she is that she's not sleeping around like she used to, now that she's got a child. "So how did that go?"

"Well, actually," Ruth says happily. "I don't know how much she really understands about it all. I mean, she's always know that her dad doesn't live with us, but she's got other friends whose parents aren't together and she knows plenty of children whose parents aren't married. And it'll be nice to not have to sneak around so much now, but we will have to be careful going forward now that she knows."

"So is that what you meant by you and Nelson are 'sort of together'?" Shona asks knowingly.

Ruth sometimes forgets that Shona is a literature professor and much better than most people at picking up on small details and subtext. "Yes. Last night he told me he loves me." She feels herself blushing but she can't help it.

"Did he say it first?"

"Yes." She doesn't tell Shona that he'd said it when she was crying because she'd been traumatized by a sexual position. Some things don't need to be shared, even amidst girl talk.

Shona smiles. "That's good. Men don't say it first unless they mean it. Phil said it first, too."

Ruth does not say that Phil is an idiot and Shona is essentially a goddess so Phil falling in love with her was never the part that anyone was surprised about.

"Alright, so he said he loves you. What's 'sort of' about that?"

"Well, I don't know what we do from here. I mean, he's still in his house. He'll get a place of his own once he puts the house on the market. Kate and I are in the cottage."

"Why don't you get a house together?" Shona asks, as though that's the most logical thing in the world.

And maybe it is logical. Maybe that's what Ruth should do. Start somewhere new with Nelson. But the very thought of leaving her cozy cottage and her wide-open space at the salt marsh is absolutely abhorrent to her.

At his own house, Nelson is pacing back and forth with the estate agent. The man has been making measurements and taking notes about things. He'd already been to look at the place and said he'd come up with some listing options, whatever the bloody hell that means. But today, he had called Nelson and asked to meet him at the house at two o'clock. So here he is, in the middle of the workday, waiting while the estate agent takes notes and hums to himself periodically.

"Anything you need from me?" Nelson asks as the man types furiously on his phone.

"I'll have a formal offer for you tomorrow," he replies.

Nelson is completely thrown. "What?!"

"I was talking to another agent who's working with a very motivated buyer. Described what his buyer wants, and I thought of this place. The measurements were to give a bit more definite information, but it all works with what they want," the estate agent explains.

"But the house isn't even listed yet."

"Doesn't need to be. Unless you want to list it. Might be able to get a higher offer that way, but an offer without a listing will make things go quicker."

That's something to think about. The money is not at all what concerns him. Having things move forward, that's what he wants. This house is the past. And he can't move on with Ruth and Kate or with anything else till it's sold. "How much quicker?"

"This potential buyer wants to close by the end of the month."

"That's…quick," Nelson answers, slightly stunned.

The estate agent just shrugs and goes back to his typing.


	31. Chapter 31

_Chapter Thirty-One_

Ruth keeps giving him curious and suspicious looks, and Nelson feels awful. He needs to tell her. He knows he does. He wants to. But when they're alone. Not while Katie's awake. He's got to wait till she's in bed and he and Ruth are by themselves. Then he can tell her.

But of course, tonight is the first time that Nelson experiences what Ruth has always warned him about: Kate hates bathtime.

Always before, she's been very easy about going to take her bath and scrub her teeth before bed. If she's gotten a bit pouty, he's just asked her a bit firmer and she's complied without question. Not tonight, however. She's adamant about not wanting to take her bath, not wanting to go to bed, wanting to stay up later and play and such.

"No, one more episode of Dora, please!" she screeches.

Ruth is trying to cajole her, but Nelson can see she's getting a bit frenzied. The back and forth between them is grating on his already thin nerves.

"Kate, come on, please, it's late. We have to start getting ready for bed. You know how you get upset if you're tired in the morning," Ruth reminds her.

"Mummy, no! Why do I have to go to bed? You and Dad don't have to go to bed!"

"You're still growing, and you need more sleep. Adults can stay up later," Ruth explains.

Nelson doesn't quite understand that as a parenting technique, answering a child's questions. His mother had never allowed such things. Maureen had put the fear of god into Nelson and his sisters, terrifying them into obedience and giving them a swift swat on the bum if they talked back. When Laura and Rebecca were little, Michelle had been very strict about not using any kind of physical punishment, although Nelson didn't see the harm. No, his daughters had been trained to respond to yelling and being grounded to keep them in line. And as far as he could tell here, Ruth hadn't quite figured out her preferred method yet. Was it always like this? The fighting back and forth and attempt at reasoning.

"No!" Kate screams.

And that's more than enough for Nelson. "KATE SCARLETT GALLOWAY," he bellows.

Both Kate and Ruth freeze in shock. Neither of them have heard him like that before. A small part of him is pleased at their reaction.

"It is bathtime. Listen to your mother. Now," he orders in a low, terrifying tone. And it should be terrifying. This is the voice he uses in interview with criminal suspects, usually with Judy Johnson playing good cop to his bad cop.

Kate stares at her father and then slowly nods. She almost seems like she's a zombie as she walks in a slightly dazed fashion out of the living room and up the stairs.

Ruth looks at him with a very unhappy glare. "What was that?" she asks slightly angrily.

"She wasn't listening. I got her to listen," he says.

"Don't do that ever again." In that one phrase, Ruth's tone is almost as frightening as Nelson's had been. He feels a slight chill at the sound of it.

Ruth doesn't say another word. She quickly follows Kate upstairs and starts to run the bath. Nelson sits down on the sofa and rests his head on the back of it. Flint hops up on his lap and gets comfortable, sinking his claws into Nelson's thighs. Nelson doesn't bother to shove him off. The cat is purring now anyway.

The water stops a minute later, the bath having been filled sufficiently for Kate to be bathed. Nelson stays where he is. This is the first time he's spent the night in the cottage and not helped with bathtime. He likes bathtime. He and Kate play little games. She's got a million toys to play with, and after she'd showed him all of them the first few times he'd been over, he can now ask her about them by name and help her make up little stories for Mr. Frog and Mrs. Squid and the Dolphin Twins. But Nelson is rather sure he's not been invited to bathtime tonight. Kate had not asked him to go with her. Ruth had not beckoned him to join her. Bathtime is well underway and he is missing out.

Perhaps he could go up and invite himself, but that wouldn't be right. As much as he's been made to feel more a part of Kate's life and Ruth's, as many times as he's gotten to be here for supper and bathtime and bedtime over the last month, he is still a visitor in this house. He is still a visitor in their lives. Ruth and Kate have a life and a home and a family all their own. He has not wanted to ever push and Ruth has always been very gracious about his involvement with Katie, but there's an invisible line he's never crossed. He has crossed it tonight. And he's been pushed back.

The water being let out of the bath gurgles in the drain, echoing through the walls of the cottage. Bathtime is over. Nelson sighs sadly and stroke's Flint's soft fur.

"Can you come tuck her in, please?" Ruth calls softly from the top of the stairs.

Nelson picks up the cat and puts him on the ground, earning a very annoyed meow in the process. Nelson then bounds up the stairs to where Ruth is waiting. "She wants me to tuck her in?" he asks hopefully.

Ruth frowns. "No, actually. She spent her whole bath crying because she thinks you hate her because you yelled. And she won't believe me when I try to tell her you don't hate her. She's scared of you."

An icy chill grips Nelson's insides. That's the very last thing he wants. She's afraid of him? Christ, he doesn't want her to be afraid of him. "I'm sorry," he mutters, looking down at his feet.

"You can apologize to me later. It's her you've got to be sorry to."

It does not escape Nelson's notice that Ruth had not said that he did not also owe her an apology. At one time, during his marriage to Michelle, Nelson knows that he would have let that subtle meaning slip by him. Or rather, he would have ignored it. He doesn't want to ignore those things now. Not with Ruth.

He goes to Katie's bedroom with Ruth following close behind. He goes in to find Kate lying in bed with one of her many stuffed animals. His daughter looks at him, her eyes go wide in fear, and she immediately turns over to face away from him.

Nelson looks to Ruth questioningly. "Apologize," she whispers. "And explain." She gives him a nudge for good measure.

"Katie, can I come say goodnight?" he asks tentatively.

"You're going to shout," Kate grumbles, muffled into her pillow.

"I promise I won't," Nelson tells her. "I'm sorry I shouted before. I know it was scary and you didn't like it. But I'd like to explain why."

Kate hesitates and turns just her head back toward her father.

He takes that as a good sign. "I don't think it's very nice when you shout at your mum like you were. When she asks you to do something or tells you it's time for your bath, I get cross when you say no. Mum takes really good care of you, and she knows best. And I don't think you should argue like you did. I got cross and very loud to get your attention because you weren't doing what you were supposed to. But I don't like that I scared you."

Her little eyes fill with tears and her chin wobbles. "You were scary, Daddy."

"I am sorry, Katie."

She starts to cry. "And you missed bathtime."

Nelson crumples at that. He pulls her into his arms and holds her and kisses her little face. "I don't want to miss bathtime anymore. I didn't think you wanted me after I shouted."

"Don't shout and don't miss bathtime," she tells him.

He chuckles lightly, brushing away threatening tears of his own. "Alright, I'll do my best." He lifts her head so he can wipe away her tears and kiss her cheeks. "I love you, Katie."

She hugs him tight. "I love you, too, Dad."

Ruth watches them both and doesn't even bother to wipe away her own tears. This whole night has been so utterly unexpected. Nelson's never spent two nights here in a row before, and perhaps it's too much. He's never tried to discipline Kate before, though he's never needed to. Part of Ruth was upset that Kate had been difficult tonight, but the other part of her knows what it means. Kate wasn't excited to be with Dad, didn't want to be good to impress him; she's used to him now and is acting like herself. And that's a good thing…isn't it?

Nelson wishes Kate a goodnight. Ruth wipes her eyes and gives her daughter a quick kiss goodnight before they turn out the light and close the door to her bedroom behind them.

"Wine?" Nelson offers.

"I think we'd better."

She goes toward the stairs but he stops her. He doesn't say a word, only leans in to kiss her gently. He pulls back and goes downstairs. She follows.

Nelson opens a bottle of wine in the kitchen. He knows his way around by now. Ruth just sits at the table and waits for him. Before she knows it, there's a large glass of red wine in front of her. "Thanks," she says softly.

He clinks his glass against hers and sits down. They both take long sips. Nelson swallows and then says, "I'm selling my house."

"You'd said."

"No, I mean there's a buyer. Estate agent says the offer will be formalized tomorrow for me to accept in writing, if I want. And then it'll be closed by the end of the month."

"The end of the month!?" she exclaims. "But isn't that…I mean, you've not even listed it yet, have you?"

Nelson explains what the estate agent had told him and how he was going to accept for perhaps slightly less than he could otherwise get in a bid just to be over and done with quicker. "But I wasn't really expecting it to be this quick."

"Well what's the offer for? I mean, would it be smarter to wait so you can get more?"

He shakes his head. "I'll get it in writing tomorrow, but the estate agent said it was going to be over Five Hundred Thousand Pounds."

Ruth nearly chokes on her wine. She's seen plenty of real estate listings in King's Lynn. She's only seen two houses ever offered for Five Hundred Thousand.

"Exactly," Nelson agrees.

"So what are you going to do?"

He shrugs. "Move out by the end of the month, I guess."

"Have you started looking at places?"

"Not yet. But I guess I'll have to."

Ruth's heart thunders in her chest. She feels it bubbling up inside her. The recklessness. The adrenaline. The foolish optimism. She takes a sip of wine to see if that will stop it, this wild feeling. But she looks at Nelson and sees the dear look on his face, the face she loves, the face of the man she loves. And before she can stop it, the words come out of her mouth. "Why don't you move in here?"


	32. Chapter 32

_Chapter Thirty-Two_

The silence hangs between them and terrifies her beyond reason. She shouldn't have said it. It's the wrong thing to say. The wrong thing to ask.

But despite the fact that it was just that morning that Kate had asked if Nelson was going to live with them and Ruth was the one to say no, she's feeling uncharacteristically optimistic. Isn't this what people do? They fall in love and they live together and they get married? Nelson obviously can't marry anyone yet, as he's still legally married to Michelle. But isn't moving in together the next step? And Ruth has every intention of dying right here in her cottage on the saltmarsh, so she's not going anywhere else. The only thing for it is for Nelson to move in.

The problem there, of course, is that Nelson hates the saltmarsh. He hates the isolation, hates the marsh, hates the small house, all of it. He and Ruth bickered incessantly about it when she'd first had Kate, how he was worried about them all alone out here. Though if he moved in, he'll not have to worry. But he will be far from the police station, and that might be a problem with his job. Everything about this is a problem.

It has been too long since Nelson spoke. "Never mind. That was a stupid thing to say," she backtracks. "I know you don't want to live here, you don't have to bother saying no, it's fine."

Nelson shakes his head. "Who said I didn't want to live here?"

Ruth's heart is beating in her throat. She wants to bolt, to run and hide and forget this moment ever happened. What is she thinking!? Less than twenty-four hours ago, Nelson said he loved her. Only this morning they'd told their daughter about their relationship. Ruth was somehow becoming one of those insane women who try to trap a man. Oh Christ, what a nightmare.

"Ruth," he says slower, taking her hand and giving it a squeeze. "Ruth, when did I say I didn't want to live here?"

She tries to swallow back the lump in her throat. "You…you don't like the saltmarsh. You always say its creepy. And my house is too small and it's far away from everything. And you don't like it here."

He shakes his head again, this time with what looks like it might be a scoffing smile. "I like you though, don't I?" he asks her sweetly. "I like you and Katie. I love you, actually, the both of you. I want to be with you wherever you are, Ruth."

It feels like the right thing for him to say. It is the right thing, that he loves her and wants to be with her and with their daughter, for them all to be together? But Ruth feels that it is somehow wrong. "But you don't like it here," she repeats. "You shouldn't move somewhere you don't like."

"I don't mind it, really. I'll get used to things," he tells her.

"No, but that's not fair, is it?" she argues. "I mean, if you move in here with us just because you're selling your house and I offered you a place, that'll only turn into resentment down the line."

"That's a bit of a stretch," he replies dubiously.

Ruth counters, "No, I don't think it is. You told me that you and Michelle didn't fight much because you just went along with what she wanted because it made you a good husband. And it made you unhappy, didn't it? So unhappy you somehow fell in love with me, and that's how we ended up here. And I can't have you just put up with me, Nelson. It's not fair to either of us."

She waits as he processes what she's told him. Ruth feels a little proud of herself for sticking to her convictions and not caving just to keep them agreeable. That was the very thing she didn't want him to do to her, and it wouldn't be fair for her to do it to him.

Ruth also knows that it would hurt her more than anything if he did move in and did grow resentful and did grow to hate this place. Her house and her saltmarsh, they were everything to her. She wanted Kate to grow up here and she wanted them to always be here. But Nelson didn't want that. She had to respect that Nelson didn't want that. How could she claim to love him if she didn't?

Finally, Nelson stands up. "I think I should go."

"What?" she asks, her voice high with surprise. She stands and prepares herself to beg him to stay.

"Ruth, you just asked me to move in with you and then told me all the reasons you don't want me to. I don't think it's fair if I'm here while you figure out what you want to do," he says.

She just stares at him. "But…"

Nelson smiles softly. He doesn't want her to be upset. She'd been upset enough already. The rather traumatic sex last night and then having to tell the truth to Katie and then him shouting and upsetting their daughter, and now this. More than any one person can bloody bear, he thinks. "It's alright, Ruth," he tells her. "You take tonight to yourself and we can talk tomorrow."

He leans in and kisses her gently to show that there are no hard feelings. Really, a part of him feels like shouting. She's always doing this, always getting in her head and being afraid and changing her mind every five minutes. He knows its because she's so smart that she overthinks everything and she's insecure, which makes her doubt and worry and trip over herself this way.

In truth, he doesn't want to leave her. He wants to shout at her for being an idiot, for doubting him and his love for her. How can she not see that she is everything he wants? His relationship with her is already so much different than what he had with Michelle. Ruth has inspired a change in him to be better, to think through things, to consider what he was doing before just barreling ahead. And that's what he's doing now. He's giving them both a chance to think. She's so worried about him moving in and resenting him, but he's rather sure that the opposite is equally likely; she will let him move in and then resent his presence.

"When you figure out if you really do want me to move in, ask me again." He kisses her once more and then turns to leave. It takes a moment for him to make sure he had his keys and jacket. He has a few things up in Ruth's bedroom from yesterday, but he'll pick them up the next time he's over. He will be over again, hopefully soon.

Just as he reaches the front door, Ruth seems to unfreeze from her slight stupor. "Wait, don't go," she pleads.  
Nelson pauses. "Why don't you want me to go?"

"I…" she trails off.

He thinks he knows why she doesn't want him to go and it is perhaps cruel to force her to say it, but she needs to. She needs to stop making bloody excuses and just tell him! "What, Ruth?" he presses, feeling frustrated and a little angry now. He's tried to be nice and do the right thing but it's just a little too much effort at this point.

Ruth furrows her brow as she looks up at him, standing by the front door he's not yet opened. "I don't want you to go and not come back. But I don't want you to stay if you don't want to."

"So that's what you don't want. What do you want?"

She looks like she's about to cry again, and his hardened heart thaws slightly. "I want you to want me."

He take her into his arms and hold her tight. "For Christ's sake, Ruth, I do want you! What do you think I've been doing all this time? What is it going to take for you to understand that you are all I want?!"

Ruth clutches his shirt in her fists and presses herself against him, obviously afraid to let go. "I can't be all that you want, I'm not enough."

Nelson doesn't know what to say to that. Because she isn't enough. No person is enough without more. He loves Ruth, but he also loves Katie and Laura and Rebecca. He loves his job and his car and watching football. And so he tries to find a way to explain. "If I lived here, would you make me do chores in the garden every weekend?"

"No, I don't do much in the garden ever. Why would you need to?" she asks back, confused.

He smiles, still holding her close, realizing that this is going to work. "If I lived here, would you be upset when I stay late at work?"

"As long as you weren't supposed to do something with Kate, I wouldn't be upset. I know your job and it requires long hours. Nelson, what are you talking about?"

"If I lived here, would you throw me out for watching the football and having a beer?"

"Maybe if it's all day, but why shouldn't you be allowed to watch the football?"

And then Nelson asks his final question. "Ruth, if I lived here, would you expect me to give up everything else in my life that I love? My job and my hobbies and my children?"

"No, of course not."

"That's what I'm trying to tell you! You don't have to worry about whether you're enough, because I've got other things in my life. You're not the only thing I have. And I want to be with you because I love you and getting to be with you makes my life better. I don't give a wit about where I live. So long as I've got a home where my children can come stay and I've got a life with you and Kate in it, that's what I want."

He finally pulled back from her. "So that's what I want. And you need to decide what you want. And I'm going to go back to my house." He opens the front door, letting the chilled breeze enter the house. "I'll talk to you tomorrow." And with that, he leaves.


	33. Chapter 33

**A/N: M-rating**

_Chapter Thirty-Three_

Nelson doesn't turn back to look as he walks straight to his car. The motion-activated floodlight he'd installed years ago illuminates his path. He hasn't heard the sound of Ruth closing the door behind him, nor has he heard the sound of her calling him back. But his mobile beeps in his pocket. He fishes his keys and the phone out at the same time, unlocking the car as he checks the text message he's just received. It's from Ruth.

_I want you to stay._

He pauses. He turns to look at her. She's in the doorway, furiously typing on her phone for a second, and she looks up.

His phone beeps again. _I love you._

Nelson cannot help but smile at that. He locks the car back up and crosses back to where she's waiting. She, too, is smiling.

"I was thinking maybe you could stay tonight and then at the weekend, we can start moving some of your things in," she says. "Assuming it's alright with Kate. I mean, we haven't got a lot of space, but we can make room for you."

"Yeah?" he asks hopefully.

Ruth nods. "I know what I want, Nelson," she says.

He takes her face in his hands, caressing her soft cheeks and pushing her hair out of her face from it blowing in the sea breeze like this. "What do you want, Ruth?"

"I want to be with you. I want you here with me. With us. I want us to be a proper family, the three of us. And Laura and Rebecca whenever they come visit. I've been fantasizing about you for five bloody years, and I want to be brave enough to take the opportunity for us to be happy together."

Nelson cannot believe what he's hearing. He's never imagined Ruth would be able to actually say those words, to not cower in fear over the uncertainty of life. He's not quite sure what's changed her mind here, but he doesn't care right now. He leans in and kisses her deeply. Her arms wrap around him and pull him in closer. Her tongue surges into his mouth, and they both moan softly together.

Ruth pulls back. "Come inside. Come to bed," she murmurs.

He grins. How could he resist such an invitation? Nelson follows her into the house, pausing only to close and lock the door behind them. They scurry up the stairs without any further ado. Nelson considers locking Ruth's bedroom door, considering that Kate had found them this morning, but he decides against it. What if she has a nightmare? What if something terrible happens?

But then another thought. This will not be Ruth's bedroom much longer. This will be _their _bedroom. Ruth has asked him, rather confidently this time, to move in with her. And he will. He's going to move his things in this weekend. His house will sell at the end of the month. He will send the money to Michelle, they'll sign the divorce papers, and perhaps at Christmas, he can propose to Ruth. They obviously can't get married yet, and he won't ask her until he's divorced, but he will not be unmarried for long, if he can help it. Ruth's a very modern woman and they've not discussed it, but he hopes it will not be much of a fight for her to agree to marry him. He doesn't want them to live together unmarried. Not indefinitely.

Nelson's mind starts to empty as Ruth sucks hard on his neck and starts to undress him. His hands are practically shaking as he gets her naked as quickly as possible. He succeeds before she does.

"On the bed," he growls into her ear.

Ruth does not seem as nervous this time. He hopes she'll not deny him the privilege of getting to look at her. She does have a tendency to hide under the covers, a habit he wants to break her of as soon as possible.

His heart and his erection droop slightly as she pulls down the sheets and gets underneath them. But, quite wonderfully, she tosses the sheets off the end of the bed. Nelson gazes at her happily as he kicks off his shoes and pulls his trousers and pants and socks off before joining her.

In an instant, he is on top of her, kissing her deeply. Ruth responds immediately and enthusiastically. All of her worries have fluttered right out of her head. Nelson loves her. Nelson wants her. Nelson is going to share her bed every night and make a life with her like she's always wanted. Like she knows she wants.

Her fingers tangle into the hairs on the back of his neck, anchoring him too her. Her thighs part to cradle him between them, pulling his body ever closer to hers. He's built so big and powerful, and she absolutely loves feeling his weight on her like this.

Nelson pushes himself up, breathing heavily as he looks down at her. She smiles at him through hooded eyes of desire.

"Make love to me, Nelson," she murmurs.

"I will," he promises, giving a tiny peck on the tip of her nose.

But first, he kisses down her jaw and neck and chest until he reaches her breasts. He traces the full curve of each one with his tongue. Ruth gives a breathy sigh at the sensation. His mouth covers one hardened nipple as his fingers squeeze the other. By the time he's switched his attentions, his free hand has traveled down between their bodies, exploring her wet folds. She's very ready for him, she knows, and he wastes no time plunging in two thick fingers. She arches and bucks against him, groaning with pleasure. "Oh Christ, Nelson!" she gasps, trying to keep her voice down. It's very difficult to remember that their daughter is just across the landing.

She can feel him grinning against her breast. "I love when you say my name like that," he whispers.

But Ruth can't really hear him as his hand speeds up and his thumb rubs her till she comes, shuddering against him and digging her fingernails into the muscles of his arms.

Nelson kisses her softly as she recovers. "I need you, Ruth," he murmurs into her mouth.

"Yes, please," she begs, her voice tired but wanting. And she does want him. She knows all too well how glorious he feels inside her, and she wants him so much she cannot think.

He whispers in her ear, "Turn over."

This takes her slightly by surprise. What does he mean, turn over? But she does what she's told. Her body and her mind are too blissed to really question it. At least he's not asking her to sit on top of him again. That's not a flattering angle at all. Though, come to think of it, Ruth isn't actually sure what she looks like lying on her front.

Nelson moves aside so she can reposition herself. When she does, he spends a moment massaging her bum. "God, you're gorgeous," he praises.

That seems a bit of a stretch, but her body tingles when he touches her like that. She'd not thought she would.

He covers her body with his own. She lifts her hips as he guides himself into her slowly. Nelson groans in her ear at the sensation of being fully sheathed inside her hot, wet body. She rocks against him as they find their rhythm, steady and passionate. Ruth can feel him trying to hold on for her. She's gasping for air, being pressed into the mattress like this and then she's tipped over the edge, seeing stars. He falls apart and wildly thrusts into her, finishing just as she does, his face in her hair and her scream muffled into the pillow.

Nelson slips out of her and rolls over. Ruth rolls with him, ending up with her body draped over him, resting with the top of his thigh between her legs and her breasts pressed against his chest. He wraps her in his arms as they both try to calm their thundering hearts and catch their breath. They're both slick with sweat and panting.

"That was incredible," she praises.

"Mmm," he hums. "Glad you liked it."

"Did you?"

He kisses her hair. "Yes."

They fall silent, resting a little before they have to clean themselves up. Ruth won't let them forget to set the alarm for tomorrow, and she's sure neither of them are going to appreciate the way his seed is dripping out of her and onto his leg. Right now, in the afterglow, it isn't as messy and vulgar as it will surely be in a few moments.

But as they lie there, Ruth thinks about how nice it will be when this is all normal and routine between them. Well, maybe not routine. But familiar. She wants very much to be used to him. She'd never imagined she could really be comfortable and used to a man in her house, not after Peter left and she'd realized how incredibly freeing it was to be here by herself. But she'd gotten used to Kate being around and she'll get used to Nelson being around. And she's sure—hopefully—that the benefits will outweigh the difficulty of any adjustments. It's already been enough of a strange but wonderful adjustment to being romantically involved with him, instead of their professional-turned sexual-turned coparenting relationship.

"Nelson?"

"Yes?" he responds. His voice is a little sleepy.

She's realized something in thinking about those adjustments they've already made. "You're name's not Nelson."

"Yes it is," he disagrees in confusion.

"No, I mean it's not your first name. I call you Nelson. You don't call me Galloway."

"Doctor Galloway," he corrects.

Ruth smiles, hoping that's a habit he's adopted. She appreciates making that clear to people. "Yes, but shouldn't I call you…" It takes her a minute to remember what his first name even is. "Harry?"

He scoffs, "No, please don't. The only people who ever call me Harry now are my sisters and Michelle. Harry was a bloke from Blackpool with two different lives, one as Harry and one as Nelson. I've always felt more like Nelson the copper than Harry the family man."

"Oh," she replies, doing a terrible job of hiding her disappointment.

But he catches on immediately. "Nelson's a family man, too. I'm your Nelson. That might sound stupid, but that's what you've always called me, Ruth. It would be too weird for you to start calling me Harry."

She shifts to look up into his face. "You're sure."

He smiles gently. "I'm sure."

"Alright, good." She presses a kiss to his lips. It's time to get cleaned up now. But first, she tells him, "I love you, Nelson."

A beaming grin spreads over his dear face. "I love you too, Ruth."


	34. Chapter 34

_Chapter Thirty-Four_

Ruth wakes with her alarm and blindly smacks the buzzer as quickly as she can, praying that Kate won't hear it and run into the room. She'd learned not to bother Mum in bed unless it is an emergency, but the alarm is the sound that tells Kate that it is morning and time to get up.

This morning, thankfully, there are no thundering little feet on the landing. Ruth has a few quiet moments to herself.

But then she rolls over into the middle of the bed and finds the pillow in a place she hadn't left it. And that is when Ruth remembers that she no longer sleeps alone in her bed.

It has been almost a month now since Nelson moved in. The sale on his house closed the week before, and all of his furniture and all of his things have been moved in or put in storage or thrown away or sold. And since then, things have been…an adjustment.

Nelson likes to get up early, she's found. He's either resting beside her so he can kiss her good morning after she's woken up from the alram or else he's already up and in the shower by the time she wakes. He doesn't bother her when he's awake first. Not like Peter used to, kissing her while she was still asleep in a foolish attempt to be romantic but really just making Ruth feel extremely awkward. No, Nelson doesn't bother her with stupid things like that. Though he does seem to like kissing her once she is awake. That much she can tell and enjoys very much. Even when he's grumpy, he'll get a little smile on his face when he kisses her.

Today, she does not get her good morning kiss. She's not sure where he is. She can't hear the water running in the bathroom, if she had, she'd wait in bed until he comes back from the shower so he can kiss her then and she can admire him wearing just a towel. Curious, she gets up and goes downstairs, not even bothering to get a robe or a bra to put on. After all, she cannot see from her bedroom window whether his car is still parked out front. And if it's not, she will look to see if he's left her a note or something.

But Ruth has no reason to worry or search for a note. Because Nelson is standing in the kitchen with a bit of toast in one hand as he makes a pot of tea. "What are you doing?" she asks him. Her voice is gravelly from sleep.

He turns and smiles at her. "Tea's nearly ready."

"Were you going to bring me tea in bed?" she asks, not sure what she wants the answer to be.

"No," he replies, "I was just going to have it ready when you came down. I woke up early today and already had my shower. I usually would make tea and have toast in the mornings but we've gotten up together so far."

Ruth suddenly feels a fool for thinking that he was going to do something so romantic as bring tea in bed for her. After all, it's a Monday. Mondays are not for such silly things. A Sunday, perhaps, but certainly not a Monday. And Nelson isn't the sort to waste time on things like that. Max, actually, had been the sort to make gestures like that, gestures to make Ruth feel inadequate for her obvious lack of romantic impulse. But that's neither here nor there.

Nelson turns away from her to pour the tea. He makes hers just how she likes it, she notices. She can't help but smile just a little bit. He's infuriating a lot of the time but he's also a good man with good intentions and always does his best. And that's why she loves him.

And even though they love each other as much as they do, this first month of living together permanently has not always gone to plan. Nelson is a very organized sort of person. Ruth is decidedly not. He has a tendency to scold her for leaving things lying about or not doing the laundry as often as she probably should or not keeping food in the house on a regular basis. Ruth has fired back at him that he is in _her _house and she is not perfect wife Michelle and never will be and if he doesn't like how she does things, he can leave. But he hasn't, of course. And after their hushed, hissing fights—in a failing attempt to keep such disagreements away from Kate—Ruth has apologized for making him feel unwelcome and being stubborn, and Nelson has apologized for putting his own expectations on her. As of last week, they've come to something of a compromise: Nelson goes food shopping on the way home from the police station on Fridays and Ruth does the same when she's at the university on Monday and Wednesday, and they share the laundry duties. Since then, Nelson has criticized slightly less and Ruth has remembered to pick up after herself slightly more.

Kate has had an easier time than anyone expected adjusting to the new living situation. She has always enjoyed spending time with her dad, and they're all learning how their three-person household and family works. And that's really the most fun of it all. She's starting school in just two weeks, and she's so excited. Nelson will be doing the morning school runs and Ruth will do the afternoon, they've decided. A big change for everyone, but a very good one.

Nelson hands Ruth her tea, and she murmurs, "Thank you," as she takes the mug.

Before she takes a sip, he kisses her cheek. "Good morning," he whispers.

Ruth's heart flutters wildly. This is all still so new and strange and exciting, living with Nelson. Surely this feeling will fade eventually. But in a small way, she hopes she will always feel a bit of this with him. She probably will.

Any response either of them may have had is interrupted by feet on the stairs. "Mum?" Kate calls.

"In the kitchen," she replies, her eyes still focused on Nelson.

Kate appears in her Dora the Explorer pajamas. Her hair is a mess from sleep and Ruth is immediately thinking about the daunting task of getting it under control. Thus far, hair and clothes have been Mum's domain, but Nelson's had daughters before. Perhaps Dad knows some tricks and could take over. But surely Michelle, a hairdresser by profession, would have been in charge of that arena.

Nelson puts his toast down on the counter and picks up their daughter, giving her a kiss. "Good morning, Katie. Did you sleep well?"

"Daddy, I had a dream that Flint got lost and you went out in the salt marsh to find him but then you got lost and we missed you so much!"

Ruth cannot help but see the somewhat obvious psychological implications of such a dream. And if Kate is nervous about Nelson abandoning them, perhaps they have not done a good job of reassuring her. But at the same time, Ruth cannot imagine how to quell those same fears in herself.

Nelson is preoccupied with Kate. "Well, you know Flint likes to wander, but he always comes home. And if he ever does get lost, I promise I'll go look for him on the salt marsh and bring him back."

"But what if you get lost? What if you don't come home?" Kate insists.

He hugs Kate and looks over her shoulder to Ruth. "That won't happen. I'll always come home," he promises. He returns his attention back to Kate. "Besides, you know if I get lost, Cathbad will find me."

Kate nods solemnly. "Yeah, that's true."

Ruth cannot help but think that it is far too early on a Monday for such an absurdly serious conversation. "Come on, Kate, let's get dressed for the day and then we can have breakfast."

Nelson puts their daughter down so she can join Ruth back upstairs. He picks up his toast from the counter and takes another bite while getting a sponge to clean up the crumbs he's dropped. Ruth thinks about how she's never bothered with such things. But now it's Nelson's kitchen, too, and it'll likely be cleaner than it's ever been before.

A little while later, Ruth and Kate are dressed for the day and Nelson is sitting at the table reading the newspaper while Kate chatters about something and Ruth makes eggs. He's half listening to his daughter while half-reading the article about a Premier League contract dispute.

"Daddy?" she begins, catching his full attention.

He puts down the paper. He doesn't really care what Wayne Rooney is doing. "Yes, Katie?"

"Are you going to live here forever now?"

"Yes," he answers. They've explained all this to her before, but he has to be patient and understand that this is all very new for her and she might not know what to expect.

"Are you and Mum going to get married soon?"

That question is not one that he's prepared for. He and Ruth have not discussed marriage yet. He hadn't wanted to bring it up until the divorce from Michelle is final. They've signed the final papers, actually, and his lawyer just sent them to the court only yesterday. Only waiting for the official decree.

Ruth, however, is the one to jump in with a response. "We will at some point. I don't know how soon. We haven't decided yet," she says.

Her answer bowls him over even more than Kate's question. He's not even proposed yet! He can't! But at least this lets him know that she's willing to marry him. He really hadn't been sure, given her independent nature and staunch, somewhat annoying feminism.

Kate turns her attention to her mother, since Nelson has been struck dumb. "You should get married on my birthday."

Ruth laughs lightly at that. "Why do you want us to get married on your birthday?"

"Because I've never been to a wedding and I want to be a flower girl and I could do it for my birthday!" Kate says excitedly.

"We're not going to get married on your birthday," Nelson interjects, for this is something he feels quite strongly about. "Your birthday is only two months away. And besides, your birthday is all about you, and if we get married on your birthday, then that would also be our wedding anniversary, and we'll want to celebrate that separately. Nothing should take away from your birthday, love."

Thankfully, Kate seems satisfied with that answer. Ruth gives him an odd look as she puts their plates of eggs in front of them. He'll tell her later that he intends to spend their wedding anniversary in the future decidedly without their daughter present. Because he's hoping that it'll be the one time that he and Ruth will be able to shag anywhere in the house or in a hotel or whatever, and he can see if he can get her to scream out his name—something she certainly can't do when Kate is sleeping across the landing. And he's also developed something of a fantasy of Ruth sucking him off on the sofa. Again, not something they can do when Kate is asleep upstairs. Though they don't need it to be their anniversary for those things, but it is nice to mark the occasion in a fun, somewhat filthy manner. And, given Ruth's enjoyment and enthusiasm for a bit of dirty talk here and there, he rather thinks she'll like for him to tell her about this plan a little later.

Ruth interrupts his thoughts by kissing his cheek on her way over to her own seat at the breakfast table. "We can talk about it later," she whispers, obviously reading his mind.

Oh yes, they'll certainly talk about it later. Nelson has now decided that as soon as that divorce decree comes in, he's going to bring Judy Johnson with him to a jewelry store to help pick out an engagement ring. Judy'll know what Ruth would like. She's a woman and she's friends with Ruth. And that way he can ask Judy and Cathbad to watch Kate some night so Nelson can take Ruth out to a fancy dinner and propose to her.

He smiles to himself. Yes, that's exactly what he'll do. And they won't be married by Kate's birthday, but hopefully they'll be well on the way.


	35. Chapter 35

_Chapter Thirty-Five_

Nelson is pacing back and forth a Cloughie's house, of all places. How he's come to be there baffles him, but here he is anyway.

He'd not wanted to do this in April. April weather is too changeable. Too much rain. Too much wind. They should have waited till the summer like he'd wanted. Ruth had been happy to wait, but then there was the issue with her parents and with Cathbad and with Kate and now it's the last Saturday in April and here they bloody are.

It's been less than a full year since Michelle left him, since his life was turned utterly upside down. But in a whirlwind of events, he has seemed to end up exactly where he's supposed to be. He moved into the cozy cottage with Ruth and Katie, and they've been quite happy overall. He's been happy, anyway, and he's pretty sure they are, too. He takes Kate to school—which she absolutely adores and has quickly become the most popular girl in her class—and he goes to the police station each day to do a job he still loves very much. He's got friends he works with, Cloughie to watch the football with in a pub at the weekend sometimes and Johnson for almost anything else. He and Ruth spend a lot of time with Cathbad and Judy, particularly since Kate is such good friends with their son, Michael. Occasionally Nelson has to put up with dinners out with Ruth's friend, Shona, who Nelson finds to be extremely exhausting on the whole, and her partner, Phil, who Nelson finds even more tiresome. But luckily Ruth is not the biggest fan of her boss, Phil, and does her best to avoid those double-date outings as much as possible. The rest of the time, he and Ruth and Katie are happy to stay home together. Quiet nights in with his girls are the best part of his life by far.

His other girls, Laura and Rebecca, had gone to see Michelle in Blackpool on Christmas Eve and Christmas Day, and they'd come to see him and Ruth and Kate for Boxing Day. They don't have a guest room in the cottage, but all three of Nelson's daughters ended up having a slumber party on the floor in Kate's room, which they all absolutely loved.

Just after New Year's, Michelle had got in touch with Nelson to tell him that she'd gotten pregnant with her new man, Tim. Nelson finds the very idea of it slightly horrifying, but he's pleased she's happy. He has a family of his own, and he remembers how happy Michelle had always been to have a baby around. He wishes her only the very best, as she has wished for him.

And now, in April, Nelson is waiting at Clough's for Cathbad to call about a contingency plan. Bloody Norwich weather. This is supposed to be a happy day, and surely it will end up a happy day, but why does it have to be such a struggle to get there?

The pacing is making him too agitated, so he forces himself to sit down on the sofa.

"What a way to start your wedding day, eh boss?" Clough jokes, coming into the room with his tie hanging loose around his neck.

Nelson just grumbles. This is not at all how he wants his wedding day to go. If it had just been up to him, they'd be getting married in a Catholic church in a proper mass. But Ruth had put her foot down about that immediately. In fact, he'd proposed to her after a fancy dinner in Lynn, put the diamond ring on her finger, kissed her, and after she'd said yes and kissed him back, she had told him she would not get married in a church.

That fight continued for weeks. He's barely Catholic nowadays, but his mother had been deeply religious, like any good Irishwoman. Now that she's gone, he doesn't want to abandon the things that are important to her. Things that have always been important to him. And he doesn't need to attend mass on Sundays or go to confession for a church wedding to be important to him.

Ruth, however, has deep distrust over all things church-related. Part of that comes from her position as an academic, which annoys Nelson at times, but he much more readily understands her discomfort over her parents having become Born Again Christians later in life. And it is that argument that had eventually convinced him that they would not get married in a Catholic church: it would have broken her mother's heart to see.

If it were up to Ruth, she would have wanted to go to the registry office with a couple friends and they could all go out to a pub after and be home by themselves by eight in the evening. Nelson had been receptive to that idea, but it was their Katie who had put her foot down there. Kate wanted a _real_ wedding where she could be a flower girl and wear a pretty dress.

In the end, they've all three compromised. They are not getting married in a church, but Father Hennessy, the one priest that Ruth has any fondness for, will be performing the ceremony. They will have a proper wedding with all their friends present, but it will be outside on the salt marsh, not far from the cottage.

But now that plan is being called into doubt because the sky is dark and it is threatening to rain any second. It would have made sense to do it in July, but Cathbad told them he was going to be at a spiritual retreat, Ruth's parents were going on a missionary trip to somewhere in Africa, and Kate was still annoyed they weren't getting married on her birthday. So the compromise there was to do it for Kate's half-birthday, which would have been May First. But May First was a Tuesday, so they've set the date for the Saturday before.

Nelson's phone rings and he answers it without even looking. "Yes?"

A heavy sigh sounds over the line. "Should we just call it off?" comes a very sad but familiar voice.

"What, you don't want to get married now?" he teases. "You'll have to give back that ring if you don't want to marry me."

Ruth holds the phone in her right hand so she can gaze at the ring on her left hand. She's never been one of those women who love jewelry, and she's often thought that an engagement ring, a symbol of a woman belonging to a man, is a horribly antiquated thing. But that was before Nelson had proposed. If anyone had ever asked her what sort of engagement ring she wanted, she would have been at a complete loss. Somehow, Nelson has found the most perfect ring in all the world. Its thin gold band, lined with tiny diamonds, fits comfortably on her hand. And the emerald-cut diamond in the middle is big enough to be noticeable but small enough that it doesn't get in the way of her work or call too much attention. She has been absolutely enamored with the ring since Nelson put it on her finger back in October. Six months she's been wearing it, and she doesn't ever want to take it off. She loves it, and, even more importantly, it always makes her think about him. Perhaps the reason Ruth has never been the sort of romantic woman in the past is that she's never been properly in love before. She never could have imagined she'd end up like this.

"Ruth, what's the matter, love?"

Nelson's voice cuts through her whirling thoughts. "I want to marry you. Today. But the wedding…Nelson, you know I don't care."

"No," he contradicts, "You do care. You care about what we don't do."

"Well yes," she agrees, knowing that he's referencing her stubborn refusal to conform to convention like getting married in a church or wearing a white gown. She looks awful in white, she knows, and she has no intention of looking like a decorated pavlova for all the world to see. Besides, white represents virginity, and considering she's forty-five and their daughter is serving as the flower girl for their wedding, virginal white is just a joke.

"We're going to get married today, Ruth," Nelson soothes. "And if for no other reason than it'll make Katie happy."

Ruth hums, knowing he's right. She has long given up the insistence that their daughter's name is _Kate_ and not Katie, but she's softened to it. Nelson's her father, and he'd not gotten a say in her name at all. And even though they've not discussed it, Ruth has already started researching how to change Kate's legal name to Galloway-Nelson. Ruth herself hasn't decided if she wants to hyphenate her own name. She likes being Doctor Galloway. But she knows it will mean a lot to Nelson that Kate have his name, now that they'll be married and everything will be official between them.

"Has Cathbad figured out what to do about our venue?" he asks.

"I don't really know. Shona keeps telling me that it's not the bride's job to worry about things, so she won't let me do anything!" she laments.

Nelson chuckles. "How did you manage to escape to make this call?"

"I told her I wanted some champagne, so she went out to buy some, since I made her swear yesterday that I didn't want any alcohol anywhere near me till the reception."

"Do you really want champagne?"

"No, I just wanted to talk to you."

"Well that's nice to hear. Glad you want to talk to the man you're going to marry."

Ruth smiles. "I know I've told you this before, but you're the only man I've ever wanted to marry. I never thought I'd get married ever."

"You haven't told me that, actually," he replies softly. "But I thought it was going to take a bit more effort to get you to agree."

"I have wanted to marry you since…well, I think since I found out about Kate. I knew I could do it on my own because I had to but I…I always wanted us to be like this, like we are now. Together." It feels slightly silly saying these things to Nelson now, like this, just before their wedding. The whole situation seems impossible, somehow. Like she'll wake up and find herself back in bed by herself with Nelson in his house with Michelle, as though nothing in the last year ever happened.

"Ruth," he says gently, "how much time left before the ceremony?"

She glances over at the clock on the mantle. "About an hour."

"Well, I don't know if we can hold off the rain for that long. But I am going to marry you today and that's all there is to it."

He's so sure, so determined, so committed. These are all traits he has that she's never quite understood. Outside of her work, she's never very sure of much. Even in her work, it's all guesses and theories based on data and research. But her Nelson finds the truth of things, and he doesn't stop till he finds answers. He's single-minded with a goal in his work and his life, and today his goal is to marry her. And she, too, is just as sure. Finally.

After telling him she loves him one last time—they always do over the phone, just in case, as they both know how unpredictable life can be—Ruth hangs up the phone feeling much better. She'd been a little nervous over the whole circus of a wedding, but Nelson has reassured her. He's on his way, surely. Once she's with him, it'll be fine. Not long till the wedding now.

She stands up and goes over to the full-length mirror that Shona has set up in the living room. Ruth feels a bit bad that the weather is probably going to ruin the pretty curls and the beautiful makeup that her friend has done for her. Ruth looks at herself and knows she's never looked this pretty in all her life and probably never will again. Though the dress helps a lot. It's pale gray-blue lace with sleeves to her elbows to hide her fat arms and a skirt with a few layers to trick her body into appearing well-shaped. The bodice is a little tight, but with a high neckline. She hopes Nelson will like it, as the outline of her breasts and waist are very accentuated, but her belly and hips are hidden by the skirt. That part he might not like as much, as he seems quite enamored with her hips and her bum, but he'll get to see all of her later for their wedding night. Once Kate is safely with Judy and Cathbad and Ruth and Nelson have this whole house to themselves.

The crash of thunder comes just as Shona comes back inside. "Good lord, did you hear that? I hope it doesn't start raining till after the ceremony!" Shona worries aloud.

Ruth agrees, but she's not as concerned as Shona is. If she gets rained on, so be it. Her parents will certainly be annoyed, but her brother Simon and his wife Cathy are going to be looking after them so Ruth doesn't have to deal with the criticisms—it had not gone well when Nelson had joined Ruth and Kate to see Ruth's parents in South London shortly after the engagement, what with the amount of adultery involved in Kate's conception and the subsequent divorce and now remarriage.

Laura and Rebecca are going to be there, which she's very pleased about, and though they're quite girly girls, Ruth is rather sure that no child of Nelson's could ever really mind a bit of weather. Cathbad and Judy and Cloughie won't be bothered. The other guests are all people knows and likes well enough to invite but not enough to be at all concerned if they have a good time. No, right now, the only thing that matters is that she and Nelson get married and have their happy life with Kate.

But sure enough, the rain starts about ten seconds later. The sound of it beating against the windows is enough to let her know that there is no way they can get married outside today. Ruth says as much to Shona who sadly agrees to take care of things and pour Ruth some champagne. Ruth texts Nelson telling him that it looks like they'll have to cancel. He doesn't respond. She takes another sip of champagne.

Halfway through the second glass of champagne, Ruth's phone chimes. It's Nelson, finally.

_Come outside._

Curious, she puts the glass down and ignores Shona's protests as she walks right out the front door. And standing there just outside the porch in the pouring rain, are Nelson, Cathbad, Judy, Kate, and Michael. Nelson is grinning.

"Come on, Ruth, let's get married," he says.

She feels a beaming smile spread over her face. Another time, they'll have a ceremony with Father Hennessy, a proper wedding with all the necessary legal things and all their guests attending, but she knows what Nelson is doing. Ruth nods enthusiastically.

The children cheer, running in circles in the rain, Kate getting her pretty dress all dirty as she throws sopping wet flower petals around as they're pelted to the ground by the water hurtling from the sky. Ruth comes to join Nelson in the rain. Cathbad says a number of things that she can't quite hear over the pouring rain. But in the end, he smiles and gives them an encouraging nod.

"I do?" Ruth says questioningly, not knowing much of what's going on.

Nelson laughs, "Do you?"

"Yes," she assures him. "I do."

"Good. I do, too," he answers.

Cathbad smiles serenely. "May the gods continue to bless this union."

Nelson obviously takes that as the end of it. He wraps his arms around her—the dress is now stuck to her skin and showing off every curve of her whether she likes it or not—and leans in to kiss her. Ruth can hardly kiss him back, she's smiling so much. Everyone is soaking wet and shivering in the cold but over the sound of the wind and rain, she can hear Kate's happy cheers.

And that's all that matters. Ruth and Nelson, now husband and wife (for the most part) and their daughter, are very happy.

**THE END**


End file.
